Feeling Hopeless

AgathaMysterie · 2019-01-11T05:06:11+00:00

I’m sorry OP! Dating is hard. I lived in Portland in my 20’s so I was in a similar boat. I dated a lot of guys who didn’t share my faith, which was dumb and a waste of time. But at 26 I met my husband on okcupid (ha!) and he is amazing. So, don’t delete your profiles online, you never know who might turn up!

Also, are there ANY younger congregations in your area? I feel your frustration about there seemingly only being married couples... but maybe they have single friends or brothers?

Making [female] friends at a church or wherever could always lead to meeting someone!

I’m rooting for you! Don’t get discouraged!

AnnaAerials · 2019-01-11T10:24:32+00:00

I too am a Christian. I understand the situation you are in and please take seriously that there are many single Christian women ( something crazy like over half of missionaries are single women who didn’t get married..)

1) Christian dating websites

2) talk to the elder or pastor// pastors wife, explain your situation and you are finding it hard to find a Christian man. The older couples in your church may have sons in the same position or they may know single Christian men. Going to coffee with them would not hurt. There are also Christian groups outside of church (young people’s bible studies, university Christian groups etc) that you may be able to connect to. I highly stress the importance of being around Godly men, make sure you are in a position yourself where you will make a valuable wife, show that you honour God and men who value the right things will be attracted to that.

3) Pray. Pray, pray and pray. I will pray for you right now too. Please do not give up hope. I was thinking I would be one of those women who are single and go to mission, but God sent me my fiancé, we were both Christian and were ready to settle down and marry. Both of our characters were confirmed by mutual friends so the vetting and dating only took 7 months before we got engaged. Do not give up hope

indiaraw · 2019-01-11T06:27:02+00:00

I totally emphasise with you ! I was in a very similar position last year. I live in Sydney - & I found when I moved to a different neighbourhood / part of the city that the people were COMPLETELY different to those who I had grown up around. It was like a whole new world - more options and diversity. I’m still looking for the right person ...but I do feel like the dating pool expanded for me.

So , geographically speaking - would moving be an option for you? Your location seems to be one of the main hindrances to your problem :( wishing you the best dear ! x

Hannelore010 · 2019-01-11T14:52:35+00:00

Make sure people know you’re single and looking

Go on a lot of dates

Dating sites; my catholic friend met someone she married there. She moved to his town after corresponding for 6 months—and a few visits. I think they were engaged a year later. It was an area of the country she loved anyway, and she got a really good job, so wasn’t a bust if the relationship didn’t work out

College groups (even if you’re not in school anymore—you can get involved with the organization like Cru or Intervarsity or Newman club) (How I met my husband)

Conferences. I don’t know if your denomination has conferences (small or big) throughout the country, but if I were single, I totally would go to them all (but I love theology conference-type stuff), to travel and meet new people.

Move to a sem town! You don’t have to marry a pastor, but there will be a lot of people who like to learn and take their religion seriously

And while looking and going on dates, be content in your situation (not complacent!) Enjoy being celibate and single. If there are wives in your church you admire, become their friends, learn from them

booklisttoolong · 2019-01-11T15:52:38+00:00

Aw, I'm sorry to hear this! I remember being 24 and thinking I would end up being a cat lady (and I don't like cats that much.) It is AWFUL to be searching like this.

Perhaps consider widening your dating sites to bigger geographic areas? Consider moving if you really match with someone online? Consider moving anyway?

There are younger congregations in big cities so perhaps seek those out for the social opportunities?

My husband is more liberal than I am but our daily behavior and values are similar enough that there's not an issue and we enjoy talking politics so I wouldn't write off a liberal guy too quickly. Atheism does seem like a bigger deal breaker in your case if you want to marry a Christian man.

I don't think you're too young AT ALL so I get your urgency and despair but I disagree that you've done absolutely everything that you can do. :) The demographics of your city are definitely against you so if it's truly what you want you may have to do something more drastic. If you take no action then you can just sit back and feel sorry for yourself but there is definitely some action that you can take. If you were to move and come back in a year and say "I just don't know what else to do!" I would be more apt to agree with you then. :) And keep trying!

Tommy_379 · 2019-01-11T18:13:17+00:00

You'll probably have to move. I'm a Christian too, and find it extremely difficult to find Christian women, and I live in a politically conservative, rural area.

Ramalavonda · 2019-01-11T03:48:50+00:00

You could always go on the web such as on sites like eHarmony or you could move to another area that specifically more conservative

UmbrellalikeWetness · 2019-01-11T04:03:42+00:00

You said it yourself: "I don't have a problem attracting guys".

Given this, it means that whatever is driving your decision making process for screening men is out weighing your desire to be a mom and a wife.

Title	Feeling Hopeless
Author	winonariot
Upvotes	12
Comments	26
Date	January 11, 2019 3:05 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/aeqyou/feeling_hopeless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/feeling-hopeless.167302 https://theredarchive.com/post/167302

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