Female coworker feels husbands achievements are her own

SkorchZang · 2014-08-09T17:23:32+00:00

That might be a "good" woman, in spite of your visceral reaction to her arrogance.

Marrying and becoming whatever her man is - that's the oldfashioned ideal of everylady. Not only that, but they absolutely love "comparing husbands" and bragging about his accomplishments to female "friends". Observe a group of married women and you'll see the amount of blatant & subtle "airs" they will put on, to underline repeatedly just how superior she is because her husband is better off than her girlfriend's husband. No expense (of the husband's hard-earned) will be spared to show those bitches what kind of opulence hubby constantly spoils her with.

All in all, if you ask me, this is normal female behavior, nothing to get your equality panties in a knot over - you go PhD girl!

2014-08-09T18:44:48+00:00

Don't see the problem here. Successful marriages are a team effort, she's supporting her husband and taking credit for that support. Blind hate is useless. She sounds like a good woman.

qwerty622 · 2014-08-09T19:06:10+00:00

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2014-08-09T19:23:43+00:00

In the words of the great Patrice O'Neil: "if she won the lottery, I'd say damn...she won the lottery. If I win the lottery, she'd say damn...we won the lottery"

redpillshadow · 2014-08-09T16:51:08+00:00

Sadly betas and women think that is perfectly normal.

Example is the alimony and divorce situation. Recent thread on the blue board that is changemyview http://redditlog.com/snapshots/925753

They actually believe the woman contributed 50% to her husbands success just by existing (and doing the hardest job in the world, being a mother). They also believe the woman could have had the exact same career with the same success if she wouldn't have married.

somegetit · 2014-08-09T17:22:28+00:00

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Stevieb1972 · 2014-08-09T17:53:11+00:00

My wife calls this "Achievement by Proxy" She occasionally has flashes of self awareness and brought this up one day over dinner. The basic idea is that when a man in a relationship accomplishes something, the women will somehow "share" it too (We won the award) but when a women accomplishes something the man never identifies it as his (she got the award). She stumbled on this by wondering why she followed males celebraties social media AND THEIR SPOUSES, but did care a bit about females celebrities partners. I suggested this had to do with the tendency of females to group together as "Team women" until they partner up and drop Team Women for Team Current Individual Male. But she insisted that it was because men due the pursuing and women don't need to approach, they never get use to rejection. Therefore, instead of try ing accomplish something (and possibly failing) they simply claim the achievement of their man and their own.

2014-08-09T17:26:48+00:00

At least she seems to respect her husband for his achievements.

Still funny.

LineOfCoke · 2014-08-09T17:28:47+00:00

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skills_are_everythng · 2014-08-09T17:42:38+00:00

It's like women live in the reality that men create, or maybe its better said this way, femininity resides within the direction that masculinity creates.

rp_divorced · 2014-08-09T22:15:09+00:00

For women it will always be "what's mine is mine and what's yours is ours".

For example, I have a six figure job and created a side income that generated around $50k over a 5 year time frame. My ex-wife (she recently divorce raped me) tried to use that as the reason that I shouldn't be allowed to have our kids 50% of the time when we divorced. Her quote was "you were only able to do all that because I took care of the kids all by myself".

I was home almost every night by 5:30 and I automated the side job so that it took about 10 hours every three months to keep running. I did the majority of the cooking, did laundry, cleaned the house you name it. I was VERY BP for a long time and paid for it dearly.

But if you ask her about the Masters Degree that I paid for in full when she quit her job to "follow her life's calling". That was all her doing with no help from me. She never got a job using the Master's degree by the way. She couldn't find her "perfect" job.

2014-08-09T19:11:40+00:00

It shouldn't make you sick, this is just natural female behavior. Generally speaking they are happiest when in a support role to a lover they look up to.

This works for men as well. There's a reason that the following is true - "You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority."

You do your thing as a man, and she will support you as a woman. This is normal and natural. Both parties should be proud of their achievements. After all, couples are meant to complement each other, not compete.

mordanus · 2014-08-09T19:47:12+00:00

To me that shows a woman that is devoted to her man. I honestly think that is the way a woman should be. She counts her victories as ones that her husband has won and clearly views the guy with tons of respect and is glad as hell that she has him.

Also this is very typical woman behavior. What's his is mine what's mine is mine. Women view men as their possessions. They will always brag to each other about how much greater their man is than any other woman's man. They also do this about their children. They will brag about how smart their kids are or whatever.

They define their greatness by the people that they claim in life. They think that if their man is great then that makes her great for being able to land a man of that quality.. If their kids are amazing then she is amazing for having them. Women rarely accomplish much in life on the same scale as a man, but they do help to shape lives and reinforce society like rebar.

lightfire409 · 2014-08-09T18:17:36+00:00

It made me fucking sick.

It shouldn't. An ideal marriage has the women supporting her husband 100% of the time. Its a team effort from there on out. Every accomplishment made by the husband is a team effort in her eyes, and in his as well. You underestimate the effect a loving and supporting girlfriend can have on your career.

LineOfCoke · 2014-08-09T17:46:16+00:00

thats a good mentality for her to have as long as shes doing dishes and makng his dinner and folding and roning his clothes.

fall0ut · 2014-08-09T23:29:21+00:00

This is pretty common among women married to military men. The women often "wear" their husbands rank.

2014-08-10T10:54:33+00:00

People saying she is a RPW are missing the point. Regardless of how much my SO might define her identity by things I've accomplished with her support, I would want her to be able to talk about herself in a fucking interview.

is OP interviewing this chick's husband? No. So telling us what he accomplishes achieves nothing, even if it is "RP" for a wife's greatest achievement to be contributing to things her husband achieved. An ideal RPW is still competent enough to handle herself in these basic public situations.

Red_Pill_Theory · 2014-08-09T20:37:32+00:00

A friend of mine bought a house. His gf moved in with him. Only his name is on the deed. She calls it "her" house. She didn't pay a dime. It annoys me.

wiseclockcounter · 2014-08-09T22:47:35+00:00

EDIT: You know what, here's the redditlog because it's mindblowing. http://www.redditlog.com/snapshots/926057 u/violetjoker brings up a good point that u/eggies is writing this policy based on the assumption that the stay-at-home party (we sure as hell can't admit it's the woman!) is the exemplar of the perfect partner, which ignores the fact that people don't divorce for just no fucking reason.

Just read this comment in the ChangeMyView post entitled: CMV: I don't believe people should pay their ex-spouses after a divorce because they're "accustomed to a certain lifestyle".

u/eggies says:

If you are worth 9 million dollars, and you marry someone who does not have a college education, you probably setup a pre-nup. But that's not what happens in most cases.

What actually happens is this:

A couple meets after graduating college: call them Casey and Charlie. Casey gets a lucrative job offer in another state, and Charlie moves to be with Casey, taking a career hit in the process. Later, they mutually decide to have kids. Charlie isn't making much more than the cost of day care of a nanny, so they quit their job so that they can raise the kids. Casey continues to do well in the workplace; valuing Charlie's spot-on career advice and emotional support, as well as being grateful that someone they know and trust is taking care of the kids.

If the couple stays married, there is no problem with any of this. They have built a life together that includes a great career, well taken care of children, and emotional support for the stresses of both in and out of the home.

If the relationship falls apart, then you need to figure out how to split things up fairly. And most reasonable people see that both partners contributed to that lucrative career of Casey's: they wouldn't necessarily have the job and position that they do without Charlie's support and encouragement.

This is how most relationships work, and so this is how the law tends to see them: mutual alliances where both partners are entitled to the fruits of the partnership if the partnership splits. There are perhaps Cinderella situations where this isn't true. But those are rare, and if you find yourself in one, you have tools like a pre-nup which will protect your wealth from a scheming partner.

Because Charlie's "spot-on career advice and emotional support" totally happens and equates to the work of actually earning the money right? Just had to come back to this thread and share that because it's pretty much exactly the mindset that the woman in your post has.

2014-08-10T03:30:54+00:00

I don't think this is something to be upset over but a valuable reference nonetheless. A clear glimpse into a woman's mind should be celebrated, even if it reveals disturbing truths.

User-31f64a4e · 2014-08-10T04:11:55+00:00

One thing women look for in a LTR or spouse is social standing. If her friends don't like you, you're out. If you're bright and shiny and impress the clatch, you are providing something important to her - status.

So in this case, I think perhaps her pride in her husband's accomplishment augers well for their marriage.

That's probably a good reason not to hang with a plate's friends, btw. Unless you're into their trip and ideology, you may get downvoted.

2014-08-10T08:04:24+00:00

I think you might be interpreting this the wrong way, however, you saw the video and therefore gleaned information from her tone of voice and body language that we don't have.

DavidTIntellectual · 2014-08-09T18:15:05+00:00

Wait, she actually got the job? This wasn't some hilarious failed interview?

This kind of thing seems to be ingrained in American society. See: the whole "first lady" thing. Why should anyone give a shit about what Michelle Obama has to say? I can't think of any other country that gives a ceremonial position to the person its leader is dating (excluding Royalty).

lloopy · 2014-08-09T20:11:05+00:00

This female coworker responded "When my husband got his PhD"

Great! We'll hire him then!

2014-08-09T21:20:16+00:00

Women do this a lot, especially when they're married into status. In my Air Force history, I can't count the number of times I've seen military spouses drop in conversations "I'm a captain". Bitch, no you're a civilian. When you pay your dues, get the degree, graduate OTS or the Air Force Academy, and rank up through your own meritorious duty, then I'll call you Captain.

It's funny how people that ain't shit like to live vicariously through others instead of try to make something of themselves.

doctorcoolpop · 2014-08-10T00:37:18+00:00

What's your problem? This is not just about "women." If you work for a company and it has a big success, isn't it partly your achievement? It's a team effort and your support was essential. Very little in life is not a team effort.

aazav · 2014-08-10T00:59:07+00:00

husband's* achievements

husbands = more than one husband

Title	Female coworker feels husbands achievements are her own
Author	penguinpoopparty
Upvotes	121
Comments	80
Date	August 9, 2014 4:40 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2d2uyj/female_coworker_feels_husbands_achievements_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/female-coworker-feels-husbands-achievements-are.19143 https://theredarchive.com/post/19143

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