From here
And my response.
A suggestion you never asked for, and will probably not use:
Hamsters and Covert Contracts
Sex god method was written for this. OP has the same issues a lot of easygoing guys have, or at least guys who want to have the world believe they are easygoing. You make it your mission to be happy-go-lucky, and assume girls will follow suit, and get irritated when they don't (and they will). It's called a covert contract and "No more mr nice guy" lays that out well. Moving on, there's a difference between a reason and a hamster. Know what it is? It's whether it comes before or after the action. I mean, when one is raised on the gold standard nuclear family, can you expect anything BUT a level headed, easygoing guy who has his shit together? Not to mention, a "self-destructive nihilist" for a flared sciatica would be either a reason or a hamster, guess which one it could be? I find it obvious, but there's a lot of it in men, so I may be looking for it too hard. You'll have to judge for yourself.
Sex God Method
Notice, yelling in front of the kids is a huge no no, so whats the strategy? Give her a warning, then do the same thing. How is that different? How is that frame? I mean, wee little girl has a temper tantrum, so you do too, only a little bit better, because hey, I warned her first! Not my fault! As for the kids he values above all, they won't know the difference, I'm wondering if the kids are what he values the most?
At three years old, my kids are taller, more active, and smarter than kids five to six years old from what I've seen
This says two things. One, that this is important to him, and two, that he's looking for it.
My wife once in a blue moon tries to shit test me over my kids but realizes they like me far more than her
Again, shit testing is a woman's way to see if you're alphafux, or a paper alpha, but he's turned it into the same thing. That one, the kids liking him more is important to him, and two, that he's looking for it in a fight that does not involve them. I'm wondering if the kids are what he values the most?
For something more positive. here I link this for the one line,
He’s on a quest and it’s really hard for me to keep up.
the strategy
The solid strategy here is leadership. Want your woman to lose weight? You lose weight, knowing full well that women can only lost .77 cents on the dollar. She is a reflection of you. Is it any surprise she's ego driven and emotional, albeit with a different set of reasons for them?
So my thoughts on this are the same. If the wife is freaking out all the time, stop freaking out. If you don't lose it 100% of the time, she will keep it together 77% of the time. As for the remainder, like anything, lead.
Me and one of the other mods at MRP have found this to work swimmingly. DEVI, taken from sex god method. Create manufactured outrage, build some emotions, then let them back again, usually by great sex. She will have some outbursts, chicks just can't help themselves. However, you can take charge of them, it's no different than a PUA push/pull, the difference being it has to be natural, you can't just use canned scripts anymore. relationships are game on hard mode, and in this case, hard means 'internalized'
To sum up. I don't think OP is putting lots of work in, at least not to the backbreaking extent he posts in here. I think he does do a good job raising his kids on the stuff that matters to him, namely rubbing the other families faces in it. Well behaved kids aren't the goal, they are the side effect on a social validation seeking identity that he curates. Of course, the wife isn't on his team, so it creates friction and tension. As per a typical narcissistic injury, his response is to lash out and destroy shit. If he takes charge, ignores this Identity he is trying to foster, and stick to the end goal (by any means) I guarantee her freak outs will become small, and usually controlled by his random spouts of emotional engagement. I also guarantee that he will trust his parenting skills enough to trust them to have a friend who eats cheeseburgers without crumbling the whole house of cards he's built up. It sure as fuck beats him using the kids to berate their friends parents.
After all, you're family isn't as good as mine, I can't bear to let little johnny be influenced by plebs, only my divine parenting.
Remember, the whole point of Dark Triad is to foster a balance of Narcissism, Machiavellian, and psychopathy. Too much 1, not enough 2, and a pinch of 3 is enough to quash any squeamish feelings on causing manufactured drama to keep her focused
post script
The one thing that makes me wonder though. Most the people reading this have commented in one specific place only. As a pity party. Woe is me, women ain't shit, see what I mean? The entire lesson was missed. Especially if you juxtapose it with the EC's. Their responses are great, if you signed up for it, do it right. If you don't think it's worth it, don't sign up. They understand it for what it is (and what GLO wrote about today) it's an opt in problem.
Opting in is not the time to complain that it's hard, or that she's fighting you on it.
If anything, it's a great example of "reciprocal determinism." Or as I like to call it, self sabotage. This is a topic for another post though.
Am I off, am I not? Is there something missed? There's a lot to unpack here
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