Opening Segment: Been reading this sub and to a lesser extent TRP for the last 4 months. I've been getting better at identifying when I'm being tested by the wife, but am still struggling with determining the grey area of shit test vs comfort test which limits how I handle them. Looking for opinions/thoughts/feedback.

Context: Wife and I (early 30s) have been together for about 7 years and married for 3. No kids. SMV for me is 6.5-7 depending on how skinny I am. SMV for her was 7, but has steadily dropped to 6. Like everything I've read, sex steadily declined over the years with each commitment milestone to the point that sex is usually about 2-3 times a month. Hit a really rough patch after a death in the family which caused me to lose frame and as a natural consequence huge attraction drop on her end. She displayed unbelievable solipsism and I realized there's no way this woman would or could love me the way I do her and got a very angry. I was fed up and stumbled upon MRP and started reading and started applying shit way too fast (surprise surprise) which got me mixed and inconsistent results. Since then, have been slowly increasing my passive dread game and improving myself as much as I can. I originally had a covert contract that I was essentially only doing this to increase the sex I got, but am slowly gaining OI and working toward truly wanting this for myself. I can say for sure I have OI for professional improvements, lifting, and social improvements, but everything else still feels framed as me just trying to get her to bang me more.

Task Segment: Professional:

  • I'm very successful working for a large company making 6 figures
  • On active path toward next promotion
  • No issues

Lifting:

  • Had been lifting before but suffered from "fuckarounditis" and doing bro splits without any logical progression in the plan and a lack of adherence.
  • Been lifting SL 5x5 for past 11 weeks with really good progress. Body fat % is in the 12-15% range at about 175 (started 165) with a goal to hit about 200 and then cut.

Reading:

  • Married Man Sex Life Primer (complete)
  • No More Mr Nice Guy (in-progress). Most of this book didn't really apply to me since I've never really been a pushover, but I realized I was extremely guilty of covert contracts. If I just clean the whole house spotless, surely she'll suck my dick (right guys?) sigh
  • Rational Male (in-progress)
  • Most of the top gilded posts covering a variety of MRP topics.

Approaching/Gaming:

  • Been day gaming about 1-2 times a week which I know is far too low, but I'm still working through approach anxiety and it's up from 0 so I count it as a small victory.
  • Attempting to game the wife but she's less receptive to it than strangers.
  • Sprinkles of flirting with hot women in front of wife (active dread), but just if I'm really feeling like a boss that day.

Social:

  • Started playing sports again and making some new friendships which I'm turning into some fun events out without the wife

Other:

  • I'm tracking her period on an app so I know for sure when to ramp up gaming around ovulation.

Discussion Segment: As I've slowly started upping my dread level, I've noticed the wife is responding.

Examples:

  • I started keeping my hair cut nicely all the time versus letting it grow out too long between cuts.
  • About a month after I started SL 5x5, she started working out.
  • She's mentioned numerous times that she doesn't want "to be left behind"
  • She started making comments about me (during shit tests) looking/dressing nicer all of the sudden since I started only wearing my nicer clothes to work and when going out.
  • She has initiated sex a couple times where it used to be extremely rare.
  • She's starting to react when I withdraw my attention/affection after she turns down sex.

I think these are supporting evidence that she feels the dread; however, as my SMV increases the shit and comfort tests do as well and I'm not doing a good job of responding to them.

Examples of recent tests where I'm not sure of good responses. Recently got "I'm not feeling very loved" from her. The content felt like a comfort test, but the tone when she originally said it said shit test to me so I just ignored it, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and bounced out of the room to go read.

Another one I had was definitely a shit test where she said "You better start showing me love" in a tone that there was an implied "or else". I typically agree and amplify with something like "pull your pants down and I'll show you some love" while moving into a position to do it and bang her then and there. However, she almost always responds poorly to these by 1) immediately shutting down any sex attempt 2) complaining that I'm not listening to her 3) some other form of deflection

I've had problems when I started MRP where I took the STFU literally (great post earlier this week clarifying the true intent) as being an autistic mute who just smiled and ignored the tests (can't lose if you don't play?), but I don't think that's a good approach and isn't going to result in any tingles/feelz. How do you handle if they simply don't respond to any AA responses (even repeated) and just keep digging/prying trying to get you to cave?

Closing: This topic has been explained to death in this and other subs, and I think that I understand with the examples I read, but I never seem to get straightforward (to me) shit tests like the ones I read about in practice. I'm just looking for some feedback on how to handle them and maybe some gaps you see in my actions that would help with my progression.