(Noob) I need a Morpheus.

TrainingTheBrain · 2015-09-10T12:43:54+00:00

Dude, why are you talking to her so much about things changing and your feelings, and giving lists about what you like and hate??

Have you not read the MRP Slogan of Acta, Non Verba during your immersion in TRP/MRP?!?

Your best course of action would to have begun implementing your plan of self improvement and gradual taking over the reigns of the relationship.

Since that ship has sailed, your next best option is to just shut the fuck up with all of this banter with your woman. She is a chick who will say one thing and do the opposite. Don't fault her for being a chick, get mad at yourself for being a weak ass dude.

This isn't about things being your way or the highway, because frankly you don't even know if you can drive this relationship, you haven't been for how many years? and you expect her to just blindly follow because you read something online?

Rethink your course of action and while you come to see that all of these failures truly are your fault, you also need to remember that your woman is acting like every woman would in her shoes. Don't fault her for being what she was born and bred to be.

If you want higher standards you need to raise the bar yourself.

stonepimpletilists · 2015-09-10T12:52:46+00:00

EDIT: at the top, read this OP, see how it is supposed to go

Oh for fuck sakes, tell me this is a BP joke post.

I think it softened me.

There is no one to blame but yourself for anything, remember that. every time you say you are owning your shit, you puke up another beta bitch BS moment that you completely ignore.

She left because I told her she needed to start pulling her weight.

She left because you disgusted her, and she doesn't take orders from plebs. she's already got a kid, she doesn't need another one

She doesn't work, doesn't go to the grocery, let's our daughter miss school sometimes (twice this year, last year was awful) because she's too lazy to get up and make her go,

Because you haven't set boundries or taken control of your family. She wouldn't listen if you did

I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT ANY LONGER!

acta non verba

IT RESTS ON MY FUCKING SHOULDERS, AND MY SHOULDERS CAN BEAR THIS WEIGHT. THIS IS MY FUCKING LIFE!

again... see above

Yesterday I had a letter I had written telling her beta puke, that'll show her. then proceeded to ask for her approval and validation. ending it off with demands, because how can she not see how great I will become?

ಠ_ಠ

The reason I'm taking my card

call the company, report it stolen, tell her it doesn't work anymore. Again with this melodramatic bullshit.

when I dropped off the letter to her I also brought her a box of tissues for her bitch tears she keeps sobbing as she tells me she has nothing

This is a fucking joke, you think you're that important that crying like a baby becuase she took your ball is going to make her cry?

I won't sugarcoat it, you're a fuckup and you dont' even know it.

I wasn't supposed to even post more than 5m a day, but this one riled me up, I have 20 minutes before I have to get to work, and I'm spending them on you brother, because god knows I don't want some lurker reading this and getting inspired.

You haven't owned shit, you're pretending. Probably gives you that great endorphin rush too. But it's all fake. A few motivational speeches in your head is not going to unfuck your life, and you aren't helping with your victim-puke, temper tantrums, and bravado speeches to your uncaring wife. All you're going is burning down your house because she doesn't clean it properly. Here's whats going to happen

Stop being a dick and unloading on her, she didn't put you in this mess, you did, and because you ordered a book, you expect her to flip a switch?

Shut up for once in your life and go back to your beta bitch behaviour, right now you got to make sure you kid gets to school on time, and be a fucking dad for once. Then lay low, work on you. Hit the gym, read those books... read em twice, internalize the lessons. start changing small things, and ignore her, since you can't seem to type a sentance without it being about you 'showing her'

Hell, perhaps nuking your wife was the best thing for you, now you don't have that unicorn to dance around all day, pretending you're still a man in there. You're far from being a man, you're a teenager, pissed off at dad because he took your xbox, and raging on him, because 'that'll show him'. Except this time you are basically fucking over your kid because you'd rather piss off your wife than actually raise a kid properly

I don't even want you reading advice in here that doesn't start and end with 'sidebar' because you'd have no idea what is good or not, let alone actually do it.

The-Fast-Yeti · 2015-09-10T12:45:05+00:00

It is your fault. Like me you probably bitched out instead of stepping up when that baby came. I'll admit that I didn't worry about the entirety of this long ass post because it's probably a bunch of victim puke.

But realize this. If this shit was easy then you wouldn't be here. Your kid and wife left? Use that time to get the reading done.

Frustrated? Gym time is therapy time.

Just handle your shit and stop talking so much. Acta non verba

Sepean · 2015-09-10T12:56:45+00:00

This place is Morpheus. If you do the work, you will unplug and become an attractive man.

Get Married Man Sex Life Primer too.

Until you've read what to do, stop talking relationship with your wife. Stop saying you'll improve, stop trying to explain to her, stop asking her how she feels on anything, stop writing her. Just talk about handling practicalities and talk about regular stuff, dodge anything serious.

You might as well also begin lifting ASAP. Join a gym, do Stronglifts 5x5 (add chinups or lat pulldowns). If you need to lose weight, go on a cut. If you need to gain weight, go on a bulk. Anything you can google with "cut TDEE" or "bulk TDEE" is likely to be good info. There's a lot of shit diet advice out there and a lot of gym instructors that want you on isolation exercise machines, don't listen to them.

I feel for you. Man, my life sucked not even a year ago, my evil bitch wife had broken me down completely. Stay strong. You won't believe how much you can change with good guidance and self discipline. I did a 180, my wife did a 180, and life is good. We're men, and our women adapt to us: when we're weak, they're cruel. When we're strong, they're sex kittens.

Now read the sidebar. Lift and lead.

marxistbacon · 2015-09-10T14:30:32+00:00

Oh, the rage in this post. Nothing good will come from large, melodramatic gestures and decisions made while you're angry. What's happening now with you trying to fix your marriage by taking back your balls is akin to throwing a little kid off the end of a dock to teach him to swim. The two of your are floundering around, gasping for air, flailing your arms randomly. There are a lot better, slower, more reasoned ways to achieve it.

Don't make a list of ten things. That's bullshit. What will it do except give you both fuel for more arguing? You're emotional and looking for drama. Kill that urge.

You brought her tissues? What kind of mixed message is that sending? You tell her she's a miserable, ungrateful wife and lazy mother and homemaker, but here you go sweetie, I'm looking out for you, have a tissue and it's okay? Shit man, make up your mind.

Read the books on the sidebar. Use the anger to learn and realize the mistakes you've made and how to improve yourself. And STFU until you know where you're going. You can't fix a marriage or a family until YOU have YOURSELF in order. That means understanding the teachings of TRP, that means having control of yourself so you don't react to her out of anger while looking for drama, that means setting boundaries and having expectations and defending them firmly and directly without going off the rails, that means taking control of everything you need to take control of to ensure your daughter's safety and well-being. It's a slow and reasoned process, not an overnight raising of the Berlin Wall with armed sentries patrolling your new boundaries.

alphabeta49 · 2015-09-10T21:47:24+00:00

You've gotten plenty of amazing kick ass advice, so I won't pile on. But the distilled analysis is this: you were in despair, now you're in anger, but the foundation is still a whiny teenager who desperately wants to blame everyone else. When you finally accept that the blame rests ONLY on your shoulders and you're not martyring yourself (like you are now), you'll get depressed and your anger will become a smoldering, rumbling rage. Then you'll slowly start actually building from those embers a new identity where you OWN YOUR SHIT and take your life into your own hands, without the drama that you're in love with now.

Trust me, I've been there. Less than a year ago I was there. And I'm still a long way from achieving my dreams, and I still make mistakes that put me back. But your main focus is to work on yourself and keep an even keel. Stop being so extreme. She's not going to respect that.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-09-11T04:23:36+00:00

This was exactly why we set up AskMRP so newb rants like this would stay off MRP. C'est la vie. Since there are already 49 responses I will bite.

I've got quite a bit of work

Good way to start given what comes later. I thought this was interesting:

I think it started with the birth of our daughter. I think it softened me.

There are several traps that hypercharge your Beta Shit Goblin. Getting married is one. Having kids is another. Illness. etc.

I had a letter I had written telling her

Oh for the love of Jesus and Mary.

I want her to write down 10 things that she likes about me and 10 things she hates about me and to be brutally fucking honest because I was going to be. And to meet me at this specific park at 930am and to not be fucking late. At this time I will give her my lists.

Please tell us you did not do this.

She texted me yesterday asking if I had cheated

Finally! This is good. This means you need to back off and back the fuck off hard bro. Do NOT talk to her about this or about Red Pill or anything else. Actions not words. No letters. Texting is for logistics ONLY. Always. No emoting.

laundry is piled up everywhere, it's fucking pitiful and I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT ANY LONGER!

What? You wont' put up with your wife not doing the laundry? So YOU are going to make somebody else do something they don't want to do? Good luck with that.

she tells me she has nothing, I've ruined her life and she has no where to go and don't know what to do.

Again and again? What are you DOING about this? Why does she feel like she has nothing and that you have ruined her life? YOU NEED TO LEAD YOUR WIFE. YOU NEED TO LEAD HER TO A BETTER PLACE. She seems to want it, desperately.

Get your fucking shit together. MRP is abut changing YOU, not changing your wife. You are so wrong in so many places I am just....I was going to say speechless but I said quite a bit. Now let me read what y'all wrote.

spexer · 2015-09-11T17:34:59+00:00

the letter is a mistake. You really want to talk so much you are now going to do it through a letter?

How has talking helped you so far?

Acta, Non Verba

also, you can't lead if you are not a solid oak that can weather a storm - and right now you are an emotional bitch that ENJOYS the drama dance with her.

stop - just stop talking and instead improve your life.

yurp101 · 2015-09-10T14:38:02+00:00

Hey man, I found NMMNG as a free pdf, Google it.

jacktenofhearts · 2015-09-10T15:52:27+00:00

Your wife sounds like a shitty person.

Sure, you fucked up by tolerating it, but is this woman really the best you can do for yourself and your daughter?

Is there any reason to not just start talking to a divorce lawyer? Be careful about things like the debit card, which can be seen as withdrawing community property after separation. Given how lazy and shitty your wife is as a mother, there are probably a lot of things you can do to ensure you end up with the custody and child support arrangement you want.

Redneck001 · 2015-09-10T20:29:56+00:00

can look back now and see clearly where I have fucked up. I think it started with the birth of our daughter. I think it softened me.

Yeah, it's fairly common, I see it in myself and many of my friends. I suspect it's evolutionary for some reason. But it's no excuse. There's really no excuse for being a pussy.

Other than that quote, the rest of your post deserves a "just STFU." For fucks sake, never write your woman another letter/list unless it's a grocery list.

And listen to /u/[deleted].

He nailed this.

Rasalom72 · 2015-09-10T12:46:06+00:00

Good for you! But bro, Do you lift? /sarcasm

Title	(Noob) I need a Morpheus.
Author	The-Fast-Yeti
Upvotes	4
Comments	56
Date	September 10, 2015 12:05 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3kdzu3/noob_i_need_a_morpheus/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/noob-i-need-a-morpheus.201066 https://theredarchive.com/post/201066

Comments

EDIT: at the top, read this OP, see how it is supposed to go

Oh for fuck sakes, tell me this is a BP joke post.

I won't sugarcoat it, you're a fuckup and you dont' even know it.

I don't even want you reading advice in here that doesn't start and end with 'sidebar' because you'd have no idea what is good or not, let alone actually do it.