my wife disclosed her sexual past to friends and I feel humiliated

BluepillProfessor · 2015-06-07T03:03:20+00:00

Yes, your wife is now comfortable around you because she sees you as the IDGAF Alpha- or at least enough to let her guard down and reveal this. I wouldn't hold it against her. Women can't help how they behave around an Alpha.

So...BE the Alpha. Don't give a fuck. This is an unconscious Shit Test she is throwing and she doesn't know it, you don't know it, and neither of you know how important it is that you pass this one.

Edit: I love just diving in and writing my answer and then seeing what others have said. Note the same language, same analysis from 3 different MRP Approved or Moderators.

London-Bananas · 2015-06-07T09:22:39+00:00

Neither of those things are shocking. It wasn't a humiliation if you had just joked it away, eg "hope you don't start disclosing our sexual escapades otherwise we might not be welcome here anymore". Wink, grin and shit test destroyed.

However, if you become grumpy and obviously offended everyone will think you handled it like a bitch.

NotABibleScholar · 2015-06-07T03:33:01+00:00

Her reveal is tame, i understand your feelings but really this is nothing. Not to add insult to injury but dude, if this was she revealed there is probably way more skeletons. Dont let it get in your head, stupid crap will ruin you if you let it.

CaptainWasHere · 2015-06-07T02:51:41+00:00

Wait. So your wife is finally looking at you as someone with an alpha mentality and your first response is to retreat to your beta hole?

When RP says AWALT, RP means AWALT. A true chad thundercock would have similar experiences with different women. He would've been the one banging the hottie in a back alleyway after a five minute pull from some metal club. He would've been the guy the "nice girl" fucked rotten on vacation while "missing" her boyfriend back home.

So now, when you're in a position to finally show that you "get it", you're going to turn back into an emotional tampon? How the fuck is it your wife's fault that you were too fucking beta and too fucking pathetic to live in a world of filthy, filthy slooots? Fuck. Toughen up princess. Jesus.

AWALT. AWALT AWALT AWALT. Fuck. Some of you men going around NAWALT have no fucking clue. FR from a close friend of mine.

Other girl (will call her Little, prob shouldnt use actual names) is just filthy, filthy, filthy as fuck. Just when I thought trying to drown her in the laundry sink while I fucked her was the worst I could do to her, Tuesday I flushed her face in the toilet while holding a knife to her and telling her what a piece of shit she is then literally dragged her by the hair as she screamed in terror and threw her into the shower where I fucked her face as she cried her eyes out until she threw up. She never called out the safe word so good on her. Good times.

(Sidenote - in case you somehow fucking missed it -- this is roleplay. see "safe word")

Women can be and will be the filthiest little shits for the right man. That right man's been there. Alpha widowed -- know what that means. That means that if you were a beta when you got married, your wife is probably alpha widowed. Someone has probably fucked her in ways you can't even begin to imagine.

The girl in the FR. She's gonna be someone's wife probably. And she won't tell him anything at all because he'll have just as big of a hissy fit as you are, because he can't handle it. Because he's always been a beta bitch.

Edit: want more awalt? check out this post from /r/all and read all the hamstering and white knighting going on there. it seems impossible for people to grasp that there's a good chance women cheat.

Glenbert · 2015-06-07T14:46:50+00:00

She fucked on her parents bed and she fucked an older guy? THIS is what had you worked up? You actually consider yourself redpill and THIS tame-ass Disney shit has you worked up? What are you, Mormon?

ford_contour · 2015-06-07T04:14:30+00:00

One more thought: Humiliation is like getting run over by a paper tire. It's a meaningless interruption.

We should all seek occasional humiliation, just to remind ourselves it doesn't matter.

[deleted] · 2015-06-07T03:43:03+00:00

You have been lurking and internalizing TRP for years and are surprised your wife was a slut? And this bothers you? I have been there brother and it was not good. I suggest you dig deeper into why your ego won't let you FULLY accept what you claim to have been reading all this time.

You clearly missed all the pain because you didn't want to believe it. Well here is a taste. Your wife is just like mine. And all the other women I saw today. She isn't a princess and you aren't special. You are NOT soulmates but two people who crossed paths while fulfilling a biological need to reproduce.

The right response would have been to laugh and tell her that her stories are "cute".

Oh...and guess what else? This is trickle truth. There is MORE you don't know and I wonder if this reveal was for you or some other guy playing the drinking game.

Trust me on this one. I have slept with women in our social circle and this certainly sounds familiar.

Check her email and phone. All men should do this. Makes the pill go down smoother.

And as for that anger about her confession? Don't speak of it to her. Go use it at the gym. Mentioning it will make you look like the biggest pussy in pussyville and it will accomplish nothing.

trphardmode · 2015-06-07T04:20:29+00:00

You are the CEO of your house, you have a brand to manage. Your wife tarnished your houses brand - it is your fault that she wasn't brand conscious, it is your responsibility to make her become so, and realize that she made a mistake, but it was your fault for not teaching her not to make mistakes.

ford_contour · 2015-06-07T04:08:20+00:00

I have nothing to add, except that this advice by /u/theultimatecad should become part of our internal mantra. I'm certainly adding it to mine own set of mantras:

"And as for that anger about (anything she did)? Don't speak of it to her. Go use it at the gym. Mentioning it will make you look like the biggest pussy in pusdyville and will accomplish nothing."

When you've completely cooled off, if you've actually cooled off within two days, you may mention the incident exactly once (ever).

When you do, you will phrase it as a positive expectation: Something like, "My dear, since we are going to continue to get up to all sorts of unspeakable things, I expect you'll consult me in the future before discussing any part of either of our sex lives with company."

[deleted] · 2015-06-08T15:35:37+00:00

You need to learn not to let that stuff get to you. Sounds like you kept it bottled which is good.

None of those admissions are earth shattering. And if that's it, she was a nun in comparison to most chicks I dated.

That was before you and really has no bearing on you presently...and I mean, I doubt you want to have sex on her parent's bed at any rate.

Maybe even joke or play with it by getting a fake old man face/gray hair and coming out naked one day with only it on: "Hey I heard you like old guys, got a nice big old blue veined boner for you!"

[deleted] · 2015-06-07T02:56:16+00:00

Been TRP for 4 years, your post shows That was a lie

Quit bitching and suck it the fuck up.

Fuck your wife hard and long and if you're not up to the challenge accept that you can't fulfill the role other guys filled.

NewPlanNewMan · 2015-06-07T07:43:45+00:00

Man up. To use TRP, you have to swallow it yourself, first.

scapeity · 2015-06-07T14:25:39+00:00

I dont post often... but YOU entered into a drinking game where you knew that crazy shit would be disclosed... and allowed your wife to do so as well.

I am married, and while not every part of me is red pill yet, I definitively had a great time with a lot of women before I got married. My wife of 5 years... knows what the hell she is doing (and is great at it) and she didn't just magic these skills.

Years ago, she started the beta conversation "do we want to exchange numbers of how many people we have been with?"

I smiled and told her flat out that I didnt give a fuck and I would make her forget all of them. End of conversation. Dont care.

So in my mind, you as an alpha, could have turned the game night away from this type of game, but you entered into it, and learned some shit you are not comfortable with. Thats on you.

"play stupid games win stupid prizes"

Now if I were you, I would treat the whole thing as a shit test... and I would very simply explain to the girl that everything that you heard... you are going to go above and beyond that... and then make good on your promise.

bsutansalt · 2015-06-07T18:33:27+00:00

Tonight, at our neighbours house, we played a drinking game. During the course of the game, my wife admitted to things about her sexual past that I had no idea about. These things included having sex on her parent's bed and having a sexual relationship with someone 10 years her senior.

If that's the worst she can admit to then I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill here. Was it inappropriate that she said it in front of others like that? Well that's up to you, but even if it was it's still not the worst it could have been. Quite frankly I think you failed in advance by not making your standards and expectations know about this sort of stuff.

Mister_Shitlord_2U · 2015-06-08T02:09:31+00:00

I would suggest explaining to her in your calmest voice that you are fine with her revealing her past but were kind of caught off guard with her doing it in front of others before you knew it yourself. Ask her to tell you more now that you are in private so if anything else comes out in the future, you will be prepared. Ask her about her fantasies.

[deleted] · 2015-06-08T19:52:01+00:00

whether she discloses or not she still did this shit... if she's comfortable disclosing it though you are held in high opinion, trust me.

TheRedThrowAwayPill · 2015-06-07T03:25:08+00:00

Huh, on a side note, I just remembered something:

If you shouldn't ever try to turn a Ho into a housewife ...

... then why are we trying to turn the housewife into a Ho?

Redneck001 · 2015-06-08T15:27:42+00:00

Congrats! Your wife is comfortable around you talking about some of her past. Here's a pro tip: Your wife was a normal person before you met her. And normal people have experienced things.

About 6 months ago, over beers one night, my wife started questioning my past. And I kept my mouth shut. Then she told me some of her's. Apparently she has had 20 partners prior to me (probably double that number), she's still fond of some boy from high school, and she went to the prom with one dude and banged another in the parking lot. A week later, we're having a cookout, she gets drunk, and tells our friends about the prom thing.

Hell, I thought (and still think) it was funny. I'm glad she's comfortable enough around me to tell me some of her stuff. It bothers her that I don't tell her mine.

Sometimes I use this stuff she told me during sexy time.

She knows that I honestly don't GAF about any of it.

Get over it, dude. An inferior male would feel threatened by stuff like that. Be superior.

Title	my wife disclosed her sexual past to friends and I feel humiliated
Author	RelapsedBeta
Upvotes	24
Comments	54
Date	June 7, 2015 2:43 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/38v71k/my_wife_disclosed_her_sexual_past_to_friends_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/my-wife-disclosed-her-sexual-past-to-friends-and-i.201744 https://theredarchive.com/post/201744

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