Wife and I WILL hit a ‘crossroad’ talk soon. Advice and incite needed to prepare.

Sepean · 2015-05-23T21:00:20+00:00

It sounds like you're not leading your household and have issues telling her what you expect from her. Plan chores, give her assignments. "You clean and vacuum, I'll mow the lawn." Get her to clean up her stuff.

The boring sex is likely because you're not turning her on, and that could be because you're not leading. Alphas aren't just physically strong, they're socially dominant too.

That being said, this girl is not neat and she is lazy. Right now it is just the the house that's a mess, but as she grows older it'll be her looks too. It takes effort to continue looking good. Do you think this girl will exercise and diet? Raising kids well takes effort. Is she going to just take the easy route and pacify them with candy and iPads and give in to their demands, or will she make the effort needed to make them well behaved and self reliant? Is she going to take them to sports several times a week? Etc.

I think you have some stuff to work on too, but I'd consider finding someone else.

rediscover03 · 2015-05-23T20:36:31+00:00

You sound like a rational guy with not a lot of interest in your woman. Next.

Dr_Wally · 2015-05-24T00:23:33+00:00

To be blunt and straight to the point, you married the wrong woman. Sorry to tell you this.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-05-25T01:04:52+00:00

She’s boring and she’s lazy…

AWAB- All Women Are Boring. My wife is a lawyer. She has an IQ north of 125 with exceptional analytic ability and often adds to my discussions (read monologue).

Guess what?

She reads Twilight. She watches Criminal Minds- she couldn't find Afghanistan on a map and wouldn't know a Shiite from a Sunni if one of them beheaded her.

You will have to do better than that.

All she does is get home from work, watch YouTube vlogs and those celebrity shows on TV and falls asleep on the couch, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Who is the leader of this relationship. Lead. Get out of the house. Go do something interesting. If you wait for a woman to lead you to an interesting life be sure you have your I-Pad charger with you because it is going to be a long wait.

I’ve stopped touching any of her stuff and it just keeps piling up

More passive aggressive and not leading. Pick a Saturday and both of you get her shit picked up.

I see a depressed wife who wants a leader but in that absence thinks that getting a hostage will work even better.

Show her otherwise.

Necroptotic · 2015-05-23T20:00:18+00:00

What do you get out the relationship that you cannot get somewhere else ?

SorcererKing · 2015-05-23T21:04:28+00:00

Seems like you need to step up the leadership here. If she's really this bad about cleaning up you're going to have to make your expectations more clear. Not in an angry way, but matter-of-factly. Set one clear expectation and see if she meets it in a reasonable timeframe and consistently. "Hey babe, I'm off to the gym. I'd appreciate it if you'd pick up the clothes on the floor and either put them in the hamper or the wash before I get back." If she did it and maintains, move on to the next goal until things are where you want them.

This of course presupposes that you already are doing everything right yourself. Beware the Shit Goblin who tells you it's all her fault. Own your piece of this and step up where and when you need to.

If the convo about kids comes up again simply say, "I'm not quite ready for that responsibility yet; I'll let you know when." Don't DEER (Defend, Explain, Excuse, Rationalize).

(Edit: spelling)

ElGuapoMiguel · 2015-05-23T21:34:02+00:00

IMHO, the only reason to be married is for kids. You are sounding like she would be a crappy mother, lover, and partner for the family unit. Do not have kids with her, you have just stated some red flags. So, if she is not the one to have a family with, then she is not the one to be married to.

Your talk should be about dissolving the marriage, maybe keep her as a plate until you find someone better for a LTR. Or, you could stay in the marriage and bring up your reasons as an ultimatum, not as negotiation points. Either she gets on board and works her ass off and have a family, or you are moving on. You will have to tell her your reasons if you are staying in Long shot, sounds like you married the wrong person, but you do have investment in this relationship.

Tough spot, let us know how it shakes out.

Good luck!

TRP_Metamorphosis · 2015-05-24T20:19:11+00:00

Why are you even married to her? You've probably fed her blue pill bullshit about how she's the one and you'll never leave her, so now she doesn't give a fuck and thinks she can act however she wants.

You want to see real change in your relationship? Then be ready to walk, and make it clear that the relationship as it stands is not something you're willing to continue in the long run. If you can't stand up to her for fear of the consequences, then you're still plugged in. "Outcome independence" is your phrase of the day, buddy.

Also consider getting a vasectomy. They are reversible. This woman is eventually goin to get you on the hook when you're at your weakest.

I say no kids until two solid years of full blown behavior makeover.

If you can't have fun with your wife, then honestly what on earth are you doing in that relationship?

RedCML · 2015-05-23T20:16:18+00:00

I'm turn on this one. You aren't happy and you don't have kids. It's an easy exit strategy.

However, my wife used to be extremely lazy and it drove me fucking crazy. When we had our son all that changed. I think she realized, "Crap I'm a grown up now, I should clean this place up a little."

She is neater now. Not perfect, but more than enough to satisfy me.

xdrunkagainx · 2015-05-23T22:44:22+00:00

Leave now before she wises up and saddles you with an anchor baby.

dandar4600 · 2015-05-24T02:21:08+00:00

Why don't you either tell her this or just leave?

recon_johnny · 2015-05-24T15:02:11+00:00

One word. Dread.

Use it.

2015-05-24T16:28:02+00:00

OK I will chime in here.... You sound like one huge life of covert contract. You are playing the victim (puke) here.

(would love to just tell her this, but…)

Are you afraid to tell her? If you don't tell her what you want, you can't have it. You are playing the whining bitch here. Lead like a winner, follow like a bitch, or suffer in silence.

I think you may be withholding sex as a weapon against her. Own your shit and start working on it.....

spexer · 2015-05-27T22:06:06+00:00

why are you with her?

2015-05-28T05:24:01+00:00

You think she is going to pick after the kid when the toys start piling up?

Title	Wife and I WILL hit a ‘crossroad’ talk soon. Advice and incite needed to prepare.
Author	username2988
Upvotes	8
Comments	39
Date	May 23, 2015 7:39 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/370o0w/wife_and_i_will_hit_a_crossroad_talk_soon_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/wife-and-i-will-hit-a-crossroad-talk-soon-advice.201855 https://theredarchive.com/post/201855

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