TL;DR at bottom
Started digesting RP material a year or so ago. My LTR was pretty shit. Turned the horse around a few times then immediately went BP again every time things were going well, it's like some fucked up autopilot. I'd sober up and stick myself back on the path. So far so good, it's been a long time since I felt like the centre of my universe. This time around was the first time I truly felt prepared to leave the LTR and just rip off the bandaid, it would hurt but I knew I would be okay with time (having a busy life now definitely helps). I also realized that maybe she's just not the right fit for my life and just because I improve, she may not.
She's come around again for now and I don't feel myself slipping like I used to, but I'm well aware of how easily it can happen. Some part of me didn't come back to the relationship this time. Honestly hope to keep it this way, I get more stuff done. Fast forward a month, she's pregnant. Can't say I'm not pretty scared, but I'm also quite calm and feel a strong desire to be prepared. I've discussed with her about the kind of parent I want to be and the kind of environment I want to raise it in and she seems to fall in line with it pretty well for now. I've also discussed how things have been rocky, and how things are going well right now but that if we come back to that again then it will be best for the child for us to separate. I'm not sure that was necessary, at the time it felt like an important boundary to set, but she was receptive to it and it came about naturally and not in a super negative way so maybe it's no biggie.
Anyways, now I have a child on the way and have no clue what to expect. We both have strong support from our families so I'm not as concerned about getting clothes/bottles/toys ect. However I am concerned about just the general day to day stuff. Maintaining a social life. Being the captain of my ship. Managing my time and not being worn out and giving up on my personal goals in life (this is a big one. I still have a lot I want to accomplish in life that having a child will definitely make more difficult). When and how to discipline my kid. Making friends with other parents. Also I'm not where I want to be career-wise and have only recently started taking the steps neccasary to get me where I want to be. I'm asking here because it seems like a lot of reading material on fatherhood seems quite infested with a BP agenda. I know I don't have many specific questions, but ill take any advice no matter how simple or obvious it may be.
LTR pregnant. Not sure if we will work well together or not. Things are okay for now. Desperately need to know things that father's should know in day to day life, don't trust many guys IRL for advice (Most are very BP) or whatever buzzfeed shits out.