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Need some insight

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October 18, 2018
9 upvotes

The past year or so I got into MRP because I was a whiny little bitch in my relationship and it was tanking fast. Started upping dread, captaining the ship etc. I started slow because I read all the Rambo posts on here and wasn’t gonna tank the ship before it even left the harbor. I’ve stopped making her the center of my universe and have focused on myself, AA and AM shit tests out of the park and remove time when she says some shit to piss me off. I’ve recently started hanging out with some old friends about once a week at different dive bars around town or just cooking out at their place, drinking a few beers or going to the shooting range.

I still game my wife as much as possible, flirt and be the center of fun as well as provide comfort when needed and sex is for the most part very satisfying. Onto my point, last night I made a fire back in our fire pit and her and I were sitting around it with our two dogs. She looked visibly upset so I asked what was bothering her. What came out was emotional diarrhea for the most part but one thing struck me she said, “I’m afraid that if we ever broke up or things went bad you wouldn’t care, you wouldn’t fight to get me back, like it wouldn’t matter to you.” I didn’t really know how to respond so I STFU and gave her a hug and told her to stop worrying about hypotheticals. She calmed down and we had for the most part a good night. What I want to know is am I applying too much dread? Or not enough comfort? Or is she coming trying to cope with the changing power dynamic in the relationship?

Also lift regularly, am very fit and well groomed with a great job that I love. If you wanna see stats you can refer to my first FR post on marriedredpill


Post Information
Title Need some insight
Author SpitAndGIory
Upvotes 9
Comments 25
Date 18 October 2018 05:29 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203881
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9pbds1/need_some_insight/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
dread gameshit testliftgamefield report
Comments

[–]Reach180Red Beret14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy

What most guys think of as comfort, my wife finds repulsive. Hugs, snuggles....she doesn't really want that very often. If she does, she'll ask, or initiate it. But it's just a few seconds. Most of the time when I initiate "comfort", she finds it repulsive. Maybe I'm just bad at it.

But I've found that all my wife wants from me with regard to 'comfort' is to know that when I'm with her, I want to be there. It's not something I can say, or give a kiss to check the box. This part is subcommunication too. Token snuggles & mush is the equivalent of starfish for women, I'd think. We want enthusiastic sex, they want enthusiastic attention.

It's why I don't really buy the whole Rambo / Balance Alpha & Beta thing. If there's a healthy amount of dread, if you're a desirable alpha presence, your approving attention shining on her will hit the 'comfort' spot better than whatever other thing you think you need to do to 'up the beta'. And you can give that genuine attention without sacrificing the "alpha" that you are trying to figure out.

Now, I suppose if you dislike your wife, subcommunication is a tough thing to fake. But if that's the case, it's a different set of problems you have to solve.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What most guys think of as comfort, my wife finds repulsive. Hugs, snuggles....she doesn't really want that very often. If she does, she'll ask, or initiate it. But it's just a few seconds. Most of the time when I initiate "comfort", she finds it repulsive. Maybe I'm just bad at it.

Women see through transparent attempts of "hugging" as a means to sex.

[–]Kingofdeadbedroom0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah - that might be an issue for me

[–]IRunYourRiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What most guys think of as comfort, my wife finds repulsive. Hugs, snuggles....she doesn't really want that very often.

Interesting. I'm finding that as I seem to be improving - evidenced by greatly increased sexual frequency with my wife and IOIs from women around me - our huggy/snuggly times have actually decreased. I don't have a strong opinion one way or the other about this, but my wife does seem to dislike these too unless something is "really wrong". Last year during my Blue Pill basement days, we hugged all the time. But it also seemed like any day one of us could have decided we just couldn't take it anymore.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My wife if similar to this as well. She wants to be fucked hard most of the time, and is generally not into cuddling at all. She initiates comfort hugs only occasionally.

She's mostly into just being in my presence and ensuring I'm enjoying being in hers.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Comfort test. A kiss on the forehead and a hug answers her actual question.

[–]nabosch4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like you're doing good and passed the comfort test well.

Keep doing your thing. When she does 2 things nice for you, makes a great dinner, unexpected blow job, gets you a small gift, take her out or do something nice for her.

80/20 Alpha/Beta

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Comfort test. All you need is a strong oak hug. No words.

[–]470_2_700_nm2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“Let’s see what my dick thinks about all of this”. And then pull your dick out.

Your question about exploring her feelz is... gay.

mkay?

Dear Abby, I’m acting gay, but trying to be a straight man. How did I do?

Don’t ask gay questions. Her feelings aren’t your problem unless your dick is balls deep in her pussy or mouth.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

She looked visibly upset so I asked what was bothering her. What came out was emotional diarrhea

Why did you do that?

You want to talk to a hamster buy a fucking hamster.

Next time break into interpretive dance, cheer her up with your amazing.

You are being an emotional tampon. She was behaving that way to get you to ask her what's wrong. You fell for it.

What's wrong man?

[–]InChargeManRed Beret5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Sorry dude, a lot of wrong here.

Why did you do that?

She is under his care as his wife. Perhaps there is something legit that he can help with. Not responding to what could be a legitimate need is something a disconnected douche does. There is a difference between being immune to your wife's mood vs being oblivious. If she is baiting him into a BS argument (shit test) then we know how to address this. In this case it was a comfort test. It could have been something unrelated to him that maybe he can help with, or at least lend an ear.

When your check engine light goes off do you ignore that too?

Next time break into interpretive dance, cheer her up with your amazing.

Yes, be a dancing monkey when she is looking for comfort. That will definitely cement your place as her leader.

You are being an emotional tampon. She was behaving that way to get you to ask her what's wrong. You fell for it.

Yes, that is how she might ask for attention, that doesn't make it wrong, it just is. The key is that your frame isn't so weak that you are afraid of what might come after the "hey babe, what's wrong?"

You would benefit by considering the quote from the matrix:

Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?

Morpheus: No, Neo. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to.

Your suggestion was to dodge the bullets. When you have arrived you will learn that the bullets cannot harm you.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Asking her what's wrong in this situation will only produce a list of shit that needs to be resolved so she can get back to normal. It's a failed strategy. He even said verbal direha came out of her mouth. It has nothing to do with fear, nothing she says will be if any use and even if he did chew threw her list, she will move the goalpost for him once he's there.

My suggestion for interpretive dance is my implimentiaon of the kiss on the head thundercock suggested. My brain defaults to humor.

She is using covert methods of communication, there is nothing new here. If this were urgent she would speak directly to him.

I feel like I'm projecting my own life experience into this discussion now and we are in the weeds.

Thanks for your take on this.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nope. You can't live your life fearing what your girl "might" say. You think she can't sense the fear?

She wants a man who tackles things head-on. If all she has to do is make a pouty face and hide your head in your little turtle shell who is in charge there?

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

/u/MrChad_Thundercock is right. this was a comfort test. you seemed to have a fine night after it. Sometimes it isn't that hard.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here we go again with descriptions of whiny little bitches and shit.

Can’t we all just get along without hearing about starting out as bitches or viscous ex faggots ?

I mean, like cmon, I was never a faggot, or whiny, but I certainly needed some pussy.

Ok. So let’s get on with this.

Comfort. Dickweed. She was seeking comfort.

For fucks sake- Comfort

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“I’m afraid that if we ever broke up or things went bad you wouldn’t care, you wouldn’t fight to get me back, like it wouldn’t matter to you.”

"No. I wouldn't. If it gets to that point, I absolutely wouldn't."

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“I’m afraid that if we ever broke up or things went bad you wouldn’t care, you wouldn’t fight to get me back, like it wouldn’t matter to you.”

"Aww babe (kiss on the forehead). I care. I'll prove it." Take her to the bedroom and pound her good.

[–]nantucketghost-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would have said: You know I care about you, but if things went south, it would be because you screwed up, not me. If that's the case, then you're right, I wouldn't care.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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