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Her Sexual Changes (Direct vs. Indirect)

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September 18, 2018
11 upvotes

I have a question for the guys who have experienced changes in their partners sexual behavior after swallowing the pill and applying RP. Here's a bit of context to help frame the question.

After swallowing the pill, working through the sidebar, lifting, etc. I have noticed many positive changes in my wife's sexual behavior (increased frequency, her initiating, BJ's on sharkweek, more enthusiastic, etc.). These changes happened indirectly because of my changes. I did not have a talk and say I need you to initiate or I need a blowjob. While the changes have been great there are still areas I'd like to explore.

Question - For those of you that have expanded your wife's sexual appetite, have you done this directly (tell her "I want you to swallow my cum") or indirectly (focusing on yourself and applying RP principles)?


Post Information
Title Her Sexual Changes (Direct vs. Indirect)
Author cutthesh1t
Upvotes 11
Comments 24
Date 18 September 2018 04:48 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204007
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9gwj51/her_sexual_changes_direct_vs_indirect/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
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Comments

[–]helaughsinhidden12 points13 points  (9 children) | Copy

BOTH!

Indirectly.

  • Wife has gone from the WORST backseat driver to giving road head. I did give her some positive feedback and she says "Oh, I wasn't sure you liked that" and smiled as if I would have ever turned her down previously.
  • Now, it's nearly a weekly occurrence.
  • Never lets me cum in her mouth for past 19 years and now she doesn't stops until I am done.
  • She told me she is working her way up to swallowing.
  • On letting me finish in her mouth, now suddenly she says "HUH? it's not nearly as bad as I remember, I kind of liked doing it".
  • She used to dodged anal big time, now she's even correcting her girl friends if they say they won't even try.

Directly.

  • "Put on those crotchless panties I bought you and send me some pics right now!"
  • "Bend over and spread your ass" she said "I don't like being told what to do" I slap her ass "It's not a request" She does it!
  • Heavy breathing during BJ and saying "Don't stop!" about 10 times in a row too. Each time she gets more excited and when done, she's so wet I could hardly comprehend it.

After 21 years together, I so wish I had learned this from my Dad or it it was required reading before marriage.

EDIT: I also stopped "asking" too. That was a change for me. Now, I just do or tell her what to do, not a back and forth conversation with a thought process, approval, and consent.

[–]DJiamuzak4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

I could've written this. Wife swallowed last week.

Your edit is key. I now say and do things to her I never would've imagined.

[–]coinbaserep5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly after 17 years she’s taking a dildo on her back as she’s pulling my dick toward her mouth.

Just today we had some afternoon fun

Started with me laying in my back and I told her to get the coconut oil and she said ohh you giving me a massage and I said no it’s for me

Then I told her to get naked and work my back. Had her oiling me up so much she was rubbing her pussy on my leg and ass as she was giving me a full body massage.

That turned into us both covered in oil playing around. I will save the details. But i will say it ended with both us orgasming. And me cumming all over that pretty face and mouth

Every wife wants to be a slut. Take it from this girl that 5 years ago got offended if I said “let’s fuck”

No it’s “ I can’t wait to fuck you when the kids go to bed “

Compliments of sex god method

[–]resolutions3160 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

This is still a huge mental block for me.

The few times I've given a direct "order" in bed she's directly pushed back ("don't tell me what to do," etc).

This is a huge weak point in my personality in GENERAL - I hate being pushed around, and I don't love doing it to others.

Just comes back to "not attractive enough yet," I guess.

[–]helaughsinhidden2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

In bed she's directly pushed back ("don't tell me what to do," etc).

So, there's a trick you need to learn to master.

Remember she has a hamster brain. A couple things can be going through her mind all at once and they are messed up. On the one hand they want to be a slut, want to get fucked hard, want to be treated like meat, but on the other they feel guilt, shame, and are told this stuff is "oppressive". Also, remember that guys casually say "suck my dick" as a way to diss each other, sometimes she's wondering is he talking to me like an Xbox player or telling me to suck his dick.

Always assume the first "NO" is just her playing hard to get. This is why they play HARD TO GET. You may have heard about it. She's testing to see if you are for real, playing, being mean. You gotta reinforce that you are pleased with her, want her, and aren't in the mood to hear her talking about anything else. You like what you like and want what you want and you want it when you want it and that is right now. See, in her hamster brain, she's not being slutty if you are being forceful and are filled with desire for her and "making" her do it, so now it's ok.

Things that make it easier to get your point across could include already have the gun unholstered. That also exudes confidence, which is a turn on for her too. Put your thumb or finger on her lips or in her mouth, telling her to shut up, to spit on it, to lick a specific area first, I like to insult her and tell her that was bullshit and to spit/lick/suck like she means it.

If it's still NO, she might be serious. She's broken, get very angry, complain, have a tantrum, and get a new one. Just kidding. Cut her some slack, you are training her still, right? She could be hung up on her internal slut shaming, mad at you, sees you as low value still, unsure if you are really serious, or who cares why. Point is, she gave you a hard NO. At this point, exit. Just leave. Not angry, not pouting, don't whine, just leave. If she asks what's wrong, you can say something like "Sorry, babe I'm not gonna ask you, that's not working for me" if that's what she said. Otherwise, I will just go to the Gym and workout with that frustration to help me on my set. She had the chance to spend time with me and lost it. Who knows, she might stop you and do it. Maybe she will do it when you return. Either way, she knows that NEXT TIME, you won't be mad but you will be leaving. She will get it, but she fucked up the moment. Don't hold a grudge though, you are training her some new tricks that she will love when fully learned.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I hate being pushed around, and I don't love doing it to others.

That's all noise inside your head. What your wife sees: too much of a pussy to lead.

[–]resolutions3160 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's all noise inside your head. What your wife sees: too much of a pussy to lead.

How do you tell the difference between "I'm not committing enough, need to lean into it more," and "wow, she really is not into this - I need to work on myself more"?

I ALWAYS lean towards working on myself, but I'm self aware enough to know that that's the easier road for me.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How do you tell the difference between "I'm not committing enough, need to lean into it more," and "wow, she really is not into this - I need to work on myself more"?

You said above:

This is a huge weak point in my personality in GENERAL

You even emphasized the "general" part. So that's what I'm addressing.

From what you say, your issue is some aversion to taking charge. You frame it as respect for other people's autonomy, but come on, we both know that's all bullshit. You are either afraid of taking charge, or more likely, you have a leftover dislike for the alpha male who steps up and tells everyone what to do. Maybe you feel resentment towards that archetype because you never felt the need to be led? Maybe it generates self-doubt and shame, feelings of inadequacy? Whatever the deal, you have a negative view of leadership.

We all need and want leadership at some point. Whether it be because we are out of our depth in a particular situation or we just DNGAF, there are times when it is nice to have someone else in charge. Women want that more often than you seem to realize, and your wife wants it from YOU. At least until she gives up on you and gets it from CHAD.

WRT to your cock in your wife's mouth, you taking charge of the sexual encounter is what she's looking for because of the nature of female sexuality. In short: She wants to feel wanted by how an attractive man uses her in the bedroom. Are you that attractive man? Are you willing to use her like she wants to be used? If not: DM me her number.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

she said "I don't like being told what to do" I slap her ass "It's not a request"

I got the good old "Why?" the other night when I directed her to a new position.

"Because I told you to."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a lot of truth in what this man has said. Get your notepads out brothers.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't directly influence my wife's sexuality per se, they did:

  • Mr. Crunch.
  • Mr. Curl.
  • Mr. Fuck You.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

For the most part women married the man they want to be with.

Either you became a pussy or you failed to rise to the occasion.

Its the minority that married a woman that isnt on board with any changes or refuses to come along on the ride. Or maybe your fall was so far down they cant forgive it.

Either way. Doesnt matter. Stop hamstering the why. Accept it.

It just is. Your actions are more important.

[–]zurgenfloggin5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

For me all of the improvement tracked indirectly — as you define it. The more I improved myself (lost fat, weight lifting #s went up, got proactive about responsibilities I had let myself get lazy about) the more she responded. Key moment was when improving myself became the goal and not improving her behavior. Let her worry about her.

For me this has been the real magic of mrp— improve yourself. Don’t make it a huge covert contract.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Both. You build attraction and employ dominance.

"I want you to swallow my cum"

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

“have expanded your wife's sexual appetite”

No, it was always there, just not “for you”

[–]cutthesh1t[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

should have said "have expanded your wife's sexual appetite for your cock"

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

At one point if you’re tying to fine-tune, Yes, start telling her what to do during the act. Not a question, but a command. Need to work on upping your dominance - inside and outside the bedroom.

[–]cutthesh1t[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks. Do you have a sidebar recommendation for upping dominance (I need general dominance not Sex God Method)?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Watch 50 shades of grey. See how he acts and do that.

[–]2ndalRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Indirect or directly? Both, definitely.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

For the noobs reading this, every situation is different but this is probably close to a hard & fast rule... indirect changes should precede direct changes. By that, I mean that if she isn't subconsciously making indirect changes, direct requests won't be nearly as effective.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dread should - by definition - be "indirect". Once you have solid frame and get more congruent in your behavior, you can start being explicit about what you want in the moment. This is not some autistic sit-down-and-talk-about-her-swallowing-habit thing here.

[–]IRunYourRiver1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reading these comments I'm left with this overwhelming sense that we all want the same things, our wives and us (and probably other women too). It's just that the hoops we have to jump through are different and our ways of displaying or burying our desires are different from each other and waay different from what we've been told.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mrp is done mostly indirectly but we do talk to our wives. Stuff comes up. Stuff gets discussed. The key is to Avoid negative energy like whining and complaining about not getting enough. Emphasize positive energy like talking about all the hot sex you want to have with her.



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