On dread level 3. Dead bedroom 3 months.Lifting regularly and all books have been read. 5 years together, no kids. 6ft 2inches tall, 180 Lbs and 13% body fat. Working on oys, keeping frame and not arguing.

I got home last night in a good mood and asked why she didn’t send me the finance sheet. I said I am building us a budget so we can buy new windows on the house.

She said why does it matter, I said I want to move out. I said okay, we can skip the windows and just paint the walls and deck to get the house ready for sale. I acted completely indifferent to her saying the second week in a row about wanting to leave.

I got a lot of anxiety and we talked in bed last night.This morning, I completely lost my frame and went beta tier 1000 and told her that she has to do what’s best. I spoke about a lot of the stuff I’ve realized and apologized for things I’ve done, again. She was crying the whole time (shark week started today) and trying to argue and I stopped it by telling to quit it. I basically asked, not begged, for her to wait until I am the best man I can be for me and everyone else I love. She said no. Basically what I have learned is that she is so hurt from my verbal abuse that she has built a wall and even if there are changes, it’s just a matter of time until I change back. She thought it was good timing I came to these realizations after the threat to leave me.

So, my plan is the same as before. Continue to lift, build my social network, career and stick to my map. I’ll probably reread some of the material too.

  1. She asked me to move into the room where my furniture is but I think I will continue sleeping in the same bed as before, good idea?
  2. I can continue inviting her to do fun things but recently all have been shot down, should I hold my frame and act like nothing has changed?
  3. Things are getting more and more tense, but I feel okay. It’s all her feelz. I’m not really sure what to do anymore, suggestions?