Wife not responding

simbarlion · 2018-07-06T23:52:52+00:00

said I wasn’t going anywhere and gave her a hug and left it at that<

You just wiped away your hard earned dread my friend

justpickanyusername · 2018-07-06T22:20:26+00:00

First off, there is no guarantee that she will follow. In an LTR/marriage, there needs to be sufficient dread as well as comfort. If you appear to be checking out and looking elsewhere she might check out as well feeling that keeping you around is hopeless. So, the dread needs to be present, but also the feeling that if she does her part she will be included in what you have planned. This gets or keeps her motivated (usually).

She resents the fact that I am so fit while she is still a fatass and not in as good as shape.

Good. Right now she is trying to get you to give up this health craze. If you give it up, then she doesn't have to follow to keep up. If you maintain lifting and frame she will then have to make a decision. This is the 1000 ft rope starting to tighten.

Stay the course and methodically keep implementing steady incremental improvements. I am also in a 14 year marriage like you. It was about the 4-8 month mark that all kinds of shit started happening and for me was the rockiest. Shit and comfort tests galore as the boat was rocking and the rope was pulling taught. It got much better for me afterwards and has been improving ever since.

Edit: Also, make sure you don't have a big ass covert contract here.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-07-06T23:03:29+00:00

Guys seem to post here all the time around the 6 month mark saying they've improved, and their wives have yet to respond. It's become the standard, really. So just keep doing what you're doing. Remember, you've got 14 months (1 for every year you've been married) according to the 12 Steps of Dread, so you have a ways to go yet. And there's no guarantee she'll want to go there with you.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2018-07-07T05:48:36+00:00

Who cares if she’s responding at this point? Focus on yourself until you can not worry about what she’s says or thinks.
The bigger problem is that you’ll find out that you don’t care if she changes because you’ll start to see how little value she brings to your life.
Don’t forget, if you chose the wrong woman years ago and then gave her 14yrs of training, it’s highly possible she won’t make the turn.

screechhater · 2018-07-07T04:12:29+00:00

Two years here.

24 months for 24 years. The changes are remarkable. Weight is pouring off. fucking me with abandon sometimes.

If the kids are gone its a fuckathon

Wife’s coworker asked is she would be willing to share me - mainly the body.

Two_kids_in_a_coat · 2018-07-07T12:03:45+00:00

What happens if you just start fucking her daily? Just grab her and go to town. If she gives you grief and you leave how does she react?

[deleted] · 2018-07-09T03:58:28+00:00

I need better sex and know I can get it elsewhere if needed.

so do it

Any advice on how to proceed would be helpful as I feel like I am spinning my wheels right now

honestly bro you sound like you're doing fine. i would take care though that you leave your wife to work out her own health and fitness situation and you just keep doing you. she'll figure out how to stop pounding donuts if your smv keeps going up. if you start trying to "help" her everything you say is going to feel like a criticism and she's going to rebel and go the other way. that hug stunt you pulled above when she gave you that comfort test? that was perfect. those saying you should have used agree and amplify are wrong. agree and amplify is horse shit in 98% of situations. had you tried that and a little ass slap on your wife she simply would have pressed you until you told her you loved her and made her feel safe just like you did, so all you did was cut through the bullshit and got straight to what you knew she wanted

it sounds like you just need some patience

and maybe a mistress

wkndatbernardus · 2018-07-07T01:24:32+00:00

I'd say that comfort test was more of a shit test and the correct response would have been, "just don't give me a reason to look for someone else." She is slowly coming around to the realization that YOU are the prize and she ain't winning it with her lard ass body.

red-sfpplus · 2018-07-06T23:41:39+00:00

One month per year. 14 months. You are not even half way there.

Keep doing what you doing and give 90 day updates on progress.

Give her more time as long as there is changes and sex is there.

BobbyPeru · 2018-07-06T23:45:24+00:00

Keep your foot on the pedal. It took my wife over a year and a half before she got motivated enough to lose 40 lbs.

Dread + leadership = results

weakandsensitive · 2018-07-06T23:43:36+00:00

Uh...... if you're doing it for your wife, you're already fucking up. That's some 101 right there.

Anyone want to chant "covert contract" with me?

Covert Contract

BostonBrakeJob · 2018-07-07T17:41:43+00:00

"She, she, she."

Hard for her to follow you when your head is still shoved up her ass.

Grey996 · 2018-07-07T18:16:08+00:00

You should try these: ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶

Chicks love 'em!

TurdDoctor · 2018-07-07T20:47:36+00:00

how she thought I didn’t care about her anymore and thought I was going to find someone else.

RianStone gave this gem to me- you say back to her in a confused smartass tone "now why would I need to go and have an affair?" That's how you keep the dread coming.

shinflynn · 2018-07-08T06:07:13+00:00

add some game and kino to the mix and stop worrying about how she reacts. Never say youre not going anywhere.

buckeyeboy1977 · 2018-07-07T15:30:53+00:00

Thanks for all the replies. It looks like I have a shit ton of work to do. I was reluctant to post so soon in the process but this will help me out moving forward.

classicthrowaway86 · 2018-07-07T23:28:36+00:00

You seem to be doing ok for 6 months in. Keep working hard. Stay plan is the same as the go plan. She’ll either latch onto the thousand foot rope or she won’t, either way your sex life will improve, whether it’s with her or not. You know by now you should have responded better to her comfort test: “well you wouldn’t give me a reason to leave, would you?”.

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2018-07-10T13:02:05+00:00

I need better sex

Then she has you solid in her frame and you are a weak pussy.

You need a woman?

"The person who needs the other the least has all the power".

Where did I read that?

Enthuastic "better" sex is reserved for exceptional men who don't fucking "need" it.

Your being unattractive

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2018-07-11T19:47:55+00:00

She isn’t going to respond until you look like you know what the hell you are doing. Clearly you don’t. Also, they don’t necessarily turn around just because you found Red Pill.
You spent all that time training her that you were a Beta and why would she want to sign up with the new program? What have you don’t to make her consistently want your program?

buckeyeboy1977 · 2018-07-07T01:46:37+00:00

How have you lead her to better sex?

screechhater · 2018-07-07T11:23:27+00:00

Before you write another response you need to look at what all the comments here say and reflect on them.

Every fucking comment is dead on.

You are a motherfucking train wreck

Look at your post. Not one paragraph

It screams dis organized thought patterns, lack of discipline to reflect, and above all else your ego is so fucking fragile, you need her to come along to hold your hand.

CalvinRichland · 2018-07-15T04:56:12+00:00

Flex and roar at her. Serious

takobozu · 2018-07-07T08:45:42+00:00

she's probably getting side dicked or she is not interested in you anymore.

Title	Wife not responding
Author	buckeyeboy1977
Upvotes	4
Comments	36
Date	July 6, 2018 9:48 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8wo14t/wife_not_responding/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/wife-not-responding.204236 https://theredarchive.com/post/204236

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Covert Contract