So she escalated the situation with MrNewageguy much quicker than I had anticipated, when she comes home today and say they have had lunch together.
My idea was at first to do nothing, but now I couldn’t. I set a boundary and told her that after what she’d said about this guy it was not OK to go on a lunch date with him. Se tried to hamster about “but he’s so much older and he’s in a relationship now, i didn’t see him while he was single” and blah blah.
I tried to remain calm (managed OK) and repeated that this was a boundary for me and she caused it herself after all the shit she said about him previously.
Hard thing now is not to fall back into her frame of course, will still retaining the boundary...
I think we are over actually, she will keep on doing things like this until I kill the puppy, she has not enough respect for me. But we’ll see, I haven’t really set any boundaries before, so maybe something good can come out of it after all.