I see a lot of posts/strategies on RP helping guys to incite desire from their wives. I'm of the opposite.
Some background: In a few months, I'll be 32 and she'll be 30. I've been lifting for 4 years (never fat before in my life), have 4 pax, bench 1.6x bodyweight and DL 2.6x. I found RP last July and I've browsed TRP and MRP daily since then. I've read the Manipulated Man and currently reading The Rational Male. Wife in decent shape as well, no fats on her belly etc. I'd say we're both 7s, maybe close to 8 on our best days.
We've been living together for almost 4 years now (and married for 1 year), basically moved in together shortly after we started dating.. No kids. It wasn't a "natural" marriage because we are both not US citizens, and she had a problem with her work VISA. She had 2 weeks of "grace period" to pack up and leave the country. I decided that I love her and cannot let an external event break us, so I proposed and we got married. (In hindsight, it was a huge ego investment; I just wanted to be in control and not let an external event dictate how my relationship would go. I thought that if I didn't react and stand behind her back, I would regret for not "manning up".)
On avg we fuck maybe once a week now. I am horny for more than once tho, but other times I really just prefer to do-it-myself. She seldom rejects me down when I initiate. She actually complained a few times that we're not passionate/intimate enough, I told her that it's natural for passion to die down in a LTR. (And I simply have no interest, despite the fact that she's actually a pretty girl?).
I cheated last July while she was out-of-town for a month (it was also at that time that I found RP and started reading). Did it with 3 different girls over that time span (all from online/apps). It's been 3+ years since I had sex with a stranger and I forgot how hard I can get (one of the girl is 5, but it felt more satisfying than ever). Maybe its true that men are just... polygamous?? Even if I was dating a 10, I'll prolly lose interest in a few years too. How do you guys keep things passionate in a marriage??
I felt guilty for cheating initially, and thought that maybe I was putting sex on a pedestal and using RP to justify my actions. However, as months go by I realized that this is not the life I want. I spend more money, time and effort into our home and I often feel unappreciated because she'll tell me that "all men do that". I buy her $2k handbag, I pay for vacations, I even cook more meals than her... She has not even wrote me a bday card before. She's basically the woman that RP described (minus the fact that she didn't cheat on me ), acting and speaking unconsciously in a way that has manipulated me into doing things for her. A woman who will not reciprocate my love in the way I want. Why I am doing all these things for a woman that I don't even want to fuck...
Anyway, I told her I want to break up and she's been vomiting emotions to me for the past ~2 weeks. I made this account to post here because I still can't validate myself. I'm hurting her and I feel fucked up when I think about this morally. I can't internalize a lot of things and I just feel very cynical. What is the end-game of RP? Am I just a meatsack who will fuck different women to no end?
EDIT: Thanks for all the inputs, I appreciate all the advice and insights. My original post was not very organized as it was just me blabbering and venting. To be clear, my marriage is not over because I cheated, it is over because my needs are not met (ie. I am the person supportive beta cooking 90% of the meals and spending tens of thousands and not getting rewarded because she took things for granted; I refuse to be her father and her husband at the same time).
I cheated and felt guilty and tried to make peace with myself by doubling on being nice to my wife (women love men for what they do, so I did what I did-- again, not to seek her validation but to feel better about cheating); but those things did not address the relationship problems. I wanted to know how to keep things passionate in a marriage because for some fucked up reason, I thought that I can continue to love this woman unconditionally if I can keep the sexual attraction between us high (AKA brainwashing myself to become infatuated with her again).
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