Need help moving on. GF of 6 years dumped me.

gettingmymojoback · 2017-09-07T10:25:14+00:00

Winning her back is some made up Disney fairytale bullshit. Why the fuck would you WANT to win back someone who dumped you?

They've basically already told you that you are no longer attractive to them. Take the hint.

The problem as I see it is that your ego doesn't allow for the possibility that some people just don't like you. That's ok. You need to get over yourself. She doesn't like you anymore and that's ok. Thank her for letting you know this now rather than another 10 years and 3 kids later.

You need to start your sidebar reading and internalize that YOU are the prize. Once you get to that point, having a relationship end will stop look like such a catastrophe and look more like an opportunity. An opportunity to allow others into your life that WANT to be in it rather than those that you have to coerce to be in it.

What else? Sidebar.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2017-09-07T10:41:37+00:00

Look where you ended up with a serious fucking problem.

You know, deep down, this is a place with serious fucking answers.

I wonder (not really) how we'll stack up against r/relationships.

You don't need to tell your mutual friends anything. Let them find out from her. Let it be a SURPRISE because looking at you they had NO IDEA you weren't together based on your positive, improving, attitude.

I have a suggestion.

Put the R/C car on a shelf, the fantasy football into a folder, and

BECOME YOUR OWN HOBBY FOR SIX FUCKING MONTHS.

You want her back?

No.

You want BETTER.

And what you REALLY want is someone who WANTS YOU.

But you're not wantable because you are a weak, sniveling cry-baby manchild with toys and games and shit.

Become a man.

Grow up.

In the bank of life you didn't make enough deposits in this account to cover the service charges. INSUFFICIENT FUNDS--ACCOUNT CLOSED

Six months of lifting and reading. Sidebar. Monk mode.

At the end of your transformation your new handle will be PussyDestroyer.

Your new hobby is pulling HB8s without effort and fucking them in the mouth, the ass, and the pussy.

Your new toys include tits, ass, and pussy, motorcycles (did you get the 500 or 600?), and women.

Your new games include sex, how many, how often, how many different colors, accents, etc.

This is real LIFE.

And in the game of LIFE, you are losing.

So,

LIFT

READ

STFU

Or, wallow in your self-pity, waste all this energy and emotion on the sinkhole of your life, and wonder why it happens again.

Get the fuck up off your sorry ass and make your life better.

[deleted] · 2017-09-07T09:56:46+00:00

There's no winning her back after 6 years. She knows all about how shit you are and made up her mind to cut bait before she grows older with someone she isn't attracted to.

Forget about her. Improve yourself. She may or may not come back on her own when she sees you're a different person, but at least you'll be at your best regardless.

The_Litz · 2017-09-07T08:21:04+00:00

I will: 1) Lifting Heavy 2) Apply for a position I've wanted for years 3) Eat right 4) ~~What else?~~ Lurk here and read the sidebar

4) Lurk here and read the sidebar

It is a shitshow right now. You don't really want someone back that has dumped you. There is no short cut to make things better on the short term.

Rian_Stone · 2017-09-07T12:39:58+00:00

This isn't TRP, sidebar is mandatory. I'd start with Rollo, Cardinal rule of relationships is here.

Your GAF was at 9, hers was at 4. Right now you need to come to terms with this clear message.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2017-09-07T11:06:27+00:00

As always, Rollo has the answer:

https://therationalmale.com/2011/09/08/rooting-through-garbage/

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7 It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

Good on you for telling her that being friends is not a option. You were going to be LJBF'ed, and you took back your control and dignity. Now follow through, work on yourself, and read the side bar. It's life changing.

saltybull · 2017-09-08T00:41:05+00:00

Like the rest of the team, I'm worried about who you think you are as a person. I know you sound sappy as shit but it's honest. Obviously you invested way to much into this relationship and now your going to pay with zero self-worth pain. I hope you WTFU and use this feeling of worthlessness to motivate yourself to understand what you previously read in the sidebar! She wanted to breakup with you awhile ago hoping you would do it but you disappointed her the final time and made her be the masculine one and do it for you. Your the reason you feel so horrible it is all your fault. This shit feeling comes from you putting her on a pedestal, being a Mr. Nice guy instead ox being true to yourself and wee will throw in a little emotional abuse on her part over the last few years because she regretted how Her Man let her down. She wanted to be friends because she felt sorry for you and might as well keep you around as an orbiter just incause she needs some money or something done she doesn't feel like doing. She knows damn well you will be right over to take care of it for her. I understand it can hurt after 6 years, you invested and YOU were willing to work towards the relationship. Time you discover your reality is off and that you must look back at all of your mistakes that got you here and change your reality of how attraction and human relationships work. Reas No More Mr. Nice Guy! Identify again how bad your frame is and work on learning who YOU are! Your apology right away about how we might perceive your post says allot about how your relationship really went down the last 6 years, at least in her eyes. I don't want to beat you up, I was you once. It took allot of reprogramming and painful self understanding before things finally changed. If you don't learn from this, it's just going to repeat with a new disappointed chick. You should never feel so crushed by her rejection that you want to win her back to feel whole again. That's why you fucked the relationship up in the first place. Trust me, she's already been filled by a few other dudes the day she dumped you. She wasn't able to take being with you anymore and jumped ship! Reas Rollo's books also and take the time to understand why you thought she was your snowflake instead of loosing yourself to her. She's gone Bro, now become the man she wanted you to be! If this is long and wordy, ruff deal with it, your post brought back the old me and some PTSD issues from having to remember how fucked up my thinking was Long ago.

chachaChad · 2017-09-07T12:56:19+00:00

HAHAHA! Some guys would give their left nut to be where you are! You, my friend, have been given a new lease on life. It's like at the end of The Christmas Carol where Scrooge realized he's not dead and he doesn't have to waste his life. Motherfucking, today is Christmas for you!

You get 1 day for each year you were together to grieve the relationship. Since you didn't know this rule until now, the clock starts now. It's Thursday. Six days from now, next Wednesday, is the last day.
Start today and empty your life of her. Delete every contact you have. Destroy every picture you have of her. All the video. Every fucking thing.... don't keep naked pics of her. Don't. It's over. The sweater she gave for your birthday... fucking trash it. It was fine while it lasted and now it's over. Relationships have a beginning, middle and end. Adults know that.
NO. You are not winning her back. She's full of dicks now. She's not your fucking problem. Your problem is you. Stop being a victim and live your fucking life. You were fine before her and you're going to be fine without her. It's over, done, finished, kaptut, broken and useless; no longer working or effective. You are free. Do not waste any more time over her. Don't be her friend. You're ex-lovers and that's it. If you have to speak to her, you're polite and that's it. Stand up for yourself and protect yourself from people that would treat you badly. No one else will.
So what if everybody liked her? Fuck that. Don't say shit. If someone asks, you say "I just didn't work out". There is not point to spilling your guts and working through the relationship like a baby.
You work on yourself. Lift, side bar, get fucking busy on yourself. Approach girls all the fucking time.

Westernhagen · 2017-09-07T14:03:57+00:00

No backstory, but I would venture to guess that if she dumped you, it is because she has another man lined up. If so, then there is another obstacle in the path to "winning her back" -- but more importantly, it raises the question of why you would want her back.

No marriage, no kids, nothing preventing a clean break. This is a glorious opportunity for you!

Lift, meditate, sidebar.

The_Litz · 2017-09-07T08:22:58+00:00

I will: 1) Lifting Heavy 2) Apply for a position I've wanted for years 3) Eat right 4) ~~What else?~~

4) Lurk here and read the sidebar

It is a shitshow right now. You don't really want someone back that has dumped you. There is no short cut to make things better on the short term.

The_Litz · 2017-09-07T08:23:07+00:00

I will: 1) Lifting Heavy 2) Apply for a position I've wanted for years 3) Eat right 4) ~~What else?~~

4) Lurk here and read the sidebar

It is a shitshow right now. You don't really want someone back that has dumped you. There is no short cut to make things better on the short term.

UEMcGill · 2017-09-07T14:00:22+00:00

I want to not want her back.

It's easy. Think of her on her back getting plowed by the next faceless Chad that comes along now that she's back on the cock carousel. Women, have an innate ability to get past relationships while they are in them. By the time she broke up with you, she was way past deciding do I want to stay. Her action only solidifies the fact she's done.

Yeah she might fuck a few dick heads. She'll tell her girlfriends, "He's not my type, I usually don't date assholes. It's just something about him."

She wants to stay friends but I told her thats not an option.

Meanwhile, she tell you "Let's be friends" not because she values your friendship, but because she pities you!. "Oh he's broken up over us not being together. I'll throw him some pity-friendship to keep him together."

Women don't offer friendship because they think it's a good idea. She offered it to help her guilty conscience for moving on. She thinks, "Well friendship with me [orbiting] is the next best thing right?"

Go read what /u/SteelSharpensSteel linked. Effort spent on improving yourself and investing in a new woman will be better spent. In fact you may realize, "Holy shit. I found an even better woman!"

[deleted] · 2017-09-07T13:45:22+00:00

Yep. Monk mode.

The only thing to say about her is one day if you have made something else of yourself, she may want back in.

But you'll know better by then and will be doing it for yourself and wont make the oneitis mistake again. You could always plate her later....much lower on the tier.

screechhater · 2017-09-07T15:06:34+00:00

She dumps you and wants to remain friends.

You want this back ?

Put your emotions in check and pull your head out of your ass.

What in the Fuck is wrong with this ?

Move the fuck on.

I hope you have learned your blue pill lesson. Your lives are so deeply intertwined your head is buried in her ass and life.

Time to get on with "you"

jagged_edge_pill · 2017-09-07T17:38:55+00:00

NEXT!

But don't forget to control the narrative.

DeplorableRay · 2017-09-07T18:00:11+00:00

Dude, you're not even married. Read Rational Male, today. Then read it tomorrow, again. She just told you that you are not her "one." She is not your "one." There is no "one."

KingUmed · 2017-09-07T20:37:05+00:00

I was where you were last year this time man. Let me tell you... start now to INTERNALIZE all the reading of the sidebar and books and LIFT.

Let her go... it's over.. go thru the grief.. don't fake it.. just go thru it but keep reading that sidebar and LIFT.

Build up your frame and outcome independence.

It wasn't until a few months after my "devastating" heartbreak that I realized that was the best thing to ever happen to me. It made me realize I was a depressed beta male all my life and now I am a changed man who's goal is to get better every day.

You got this.

BigAjax · 2017-09-07T22:19:42+00:00

Pretty standard issue case. GFTOW and then get back to me about what a loss this is for you, how special she is, and how you want to win her back. Delete/block her number, toss any shit of hers you have, read all of the Rational Male books, get yourself in the gym, find a mission to focus on and go after it with all you have. You've been given a get out of jail free card, as it sounds like that relationship was a ticket straight to eternal Beta hell. Don't fuck it up.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-09-08T15:25:48+00:00

Don't root through the garbage. You can do better.

BobbyPeru · 2017-09-07T08:17:39+00:00

Need more context.

How, why, and when did she dump you?

In any case, if she's very decisive, you're just digging through yesterday's trash.

Title	Need help moving on. GF of 6 years dumped me.
Author	ohyesimthatguy
Upvotes	2
Comments	37
Date	September 7, 2017 8:01 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6ylu9z/need_help_moving_on_gf_of_6_years_dumped_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/need-help-moving-on-gf-of-6-years-dumped-me.205515 https://theredarchive.com/post/205515

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