Basic Backstory / Puke mid-20s, Married, 2 Kids, Marriage has been up and down since it started 6 years ago. Have separated once previously but then got back together after a couple of weeks, don’t believe wife has any attraction for me, moving forward. I’ve been unhappy with this relationship since the honeymoon, and was thinking of ending it then, but then kids came along and stuff just kept rolling etc.
Well guys, this wall of text doesn’t really give much value, but it is about just sharing my situation as it stands in a bit more of a detailed format than an OYS. So my marriage has been painful for years, Sex is the lowest thing on her priority list, and I was a beta in terms of trying to buy it through massages and holidays etc. Since finding RP around 6 months ago, I’ve been doubling down on STFU and working out and trying to improve myself, and while there was some initial gains, it really didn’t give the results that I was expecting in her, however the results that it gave me personally were great, I feel like I’m moving forward with my life and going to leave her in the dust.
So about 4 week ago I came back from a major interstate trip, where I got a couple of IOI’s that I didn’t follow through with and a lot of validation, had sex and she basically finished first in a couple of minutes and then rolled over and fell asleep leaving me high and dry, and around that point in time, it really sunk into me something that she had told me a million times that she is not attracted to me, fyi, we haven’t kissed on a regular bases for years.
While I’m not super attractive, eg. I’m 20% bf, I’m definitely not in the unattractive basket.
I still believe that MRP could work in time, but I don’t see the value equation anymore, why would I improve myself to X level, to get Y results, when I could just go out and get relative good results as I continue to improve myself.
After this night 4 weeks ago, I moved into the spare bedroom, and have kept discussions centred around logistics for the most part while I slowly sorted out a way forward, eg. I have a couple of trips coming up, and then will need to get my own place. To be honest I expected this to work as a bit of dread, and for her to try and win me back, but so far while she acts sad on the outside, I think she wants it to be over.
Her view is that I changed from the guy I was before I was married, a super total beta, and now I’m a bit more a dick, and that if she “gives in” to having sex with me, that I’m never going to change back to person she wants me to be. My view is that I’m happy with the person I am becoming and want to double down and improve.
However I’ve realised that she is not attracted to me at all, and I really don’t care because there is a lot of girls that are, and while I full take onboard that I need to improve in a lot of massive ways, my issue has always been complacency and oneitis.
So with all that, my question is "what reason for staying am I missing”?
I just want to be 100% sure, I’m not missing something major as to why I should do the full MAP if I can check out now.