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Baby blues

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January 20, 2017
8 upvotes

First time poster. Been slowly making changes for awhile now...

Since the wedding, sex dropped off. Things improved greatly when we started talking about a baby... eagerness, frequency, etc. Made me think things had been fixed so we went off birth control...

Pregnancy, I was doing my blue pill darndest to take care of her. Every ache and pain was cause for attention and concern. Baby was born, no sex for 5 months. I was trying to be supportive and understanding (so Blue Pill) but finally had a conversation. She blows up at me. Eventually we get into an every 1.5 week routine or so. I would have left her by now if it weren't for our daughter.

Our daughter is now 14 months old. I've been lifting and reading since I found TRP shortly after that. I can't help but resent my wife, although I'm learning to let go. I felt tricked and trapped for the longest time. My physique is improving, career is going well, but she hasn't desired me since the pregnancy. Nothing I'm doing seems to be working and I need some help refocusing my efforts. I love being me now, but the infrequent sex is not ideal. After we start I can get her really going, but she's always been more reserved even then.

Edit:

Stats: lifting 5x5 stronglifts for over 6 months now. 6 foot, 165 lbs, 15% body fat, good facial bone structure. Squat, bench and deadlift ~1x my bodyweight. Not where I want to be but an improvement.

Read: sidebar articles, rational male, NMMNG (not quite done with this one yet)

Dread: dressing nice, going out for drinks without her less than once a month (always sends her into a shitstorm meltdown), went on a guys' trip recently that she keeps trying to guilt me over, lifting regularly, getting involved with my church and the local chamber of commerce but I definitely need something more on the social front

Her: not breastfeeding, working part time. Her father was and is the perfect beta low-T provider. We live in rural MN so we are surrounded by that culture. Only had one boyfriend before me back in High School. This has been corroborated by friends and family, so if she is to be believed her N count is 1. I generally own my shit around the house, but not in her eyes. Example: she is of the strong opinion the lawn should be mowed twice a week. For our lawn, that would be a colossal waste of time most of the summer. She uses it as an excuse to see me as less than. I would call her a classic straight-laced tight-wound stubborn redhead who should've gone on to be a career girl, but instead hasn't worked a full time job since the wedding 5 years ago.

Finance: All of my wealth is in investments (in a protected trust), only pulling in 5 figures right now because I'm working at one of the startups my family owns. I am on track professionally to meet my life goals. We go on vacations regularly (ski vacations, she hates skiing; but I'm not going to change that for her. She's welcome to come with or not come with, she's been on every one so far)

Game: N count of 8 or 9. I did pretty well in college for the brief period that I wasn't head over heels in a blue pill relationship, which was most of my college experience sadly. I felt really at home being single and playing the field... but I have this terrible habit of getting into serious relationships accidentally (nice guy syndrome) and turning into a total pussy.


Post Information
Title Baby blues
Author agreatfuckinusername
Upvotes 8
Comments 46
Date 20 January 2017 06:52 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206628
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5p2gkh/baby_blues/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betaproviderliftgamethe red pillthe blue pilln countNMMNG
Comments

[–]The_LitzRed Beret8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Don't worry, the sex will pick up when she decides it is time for kiddo number two.

Seriously, at 14 months she should not have post-partum depression. it is something women have early on after birth. At 14 months chances are your wife is just plain old tired.

By being a Beta billy throughout her pregnancy you have proved your commitment, regardless of your needs she knows you won't leave because you have a daughter together. She does not experience any dread.

She is well past the new mother stage, apply Bluepill profs stages of dread.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

haha. yeah there's no way I'm getting her pregnant again and doubling my child support if this doesn't work out.

[–]resolutions3160 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly what happened to me - we had sex twice after our first born, and the second time got us pregnant with our second!

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

My physique is improving, career is going well, but she hasn't desired me since the pregnancy. Nothing I'm doing seems to be working and I need some help refocusing my efforts.

To quote /user/BobbyPeru from a few hours ago:

If you can't hold frame and pass shit tests, all that external stuff is meaningless.

Focus your efforts there.

Every ache and pain was cause for attention and concern.

Start by reading NMMNG.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

added my read least to the original post. yes I'm most of the way through NMMNG

[–]Aaren_Augustine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nothing I'm doing seems to be working and I need some help refocusing my efforts.

Bet you she can sense your covert contract mentality.

I would have left her by now if it weren't for our daughter.

Probably what she thinks too. So why try as you aren't really going anywhere.

Divorce is always on the table. Have you built up your Fuck You Money? Of course, it's not to hang over her head so she'll suck your dick. It's a mindset that allows you to start forming a spine. Even in the face of divorce.

What books have you read? The curriculum changes your mindset because it forces you to STFU and internalize.

Because I think your skipping brain day or at very least starfishing those poor, poor books

[–]resolutions3163 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

There is a lot of legitimate things going on with any new mother:

  • breast feeding both raises "anti sex" hormones in the body and can make women feel "touched out"

  • lack of sleep

  • new schedule/lifestyle raises cortisol

  • difficulty during childbirth (if you had any) can lead to tearing, scarring, and generally feeling "unattractive down there"

In my own experience, I also stepped up so much in my eagerness to be the "perfect husband and father" that beta'd myself into oblivion. The anger and resentment is incredibly real.

If I might point out - and I see this in others pretty readily because I see it in myself - you are still harboring a massive covert contract.

"If I follow MRP's advice, my wife should have sex with me."

"I've abolished all my covert contracts, so my wife should have sex with me."

These are, perhaps, the hardest things to let go of.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

not breast feeding.

Covert contracts... I thought I got rid of those, but they just keep seeming to pop-up.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (18 children) | Copy

I'll say very little about your wife (try it sometime)

She has her perfect life script. She has a loyal, dependable, nice enough man, who will give her what she wants, when she asks for it, and quietly sit there, "understanding" her feelings when she wants them. Life is perfect, all the setpieces are in place, and she can wait for the next emotional whim to achieve, thanks bro!

the female solipsistically maintains a frame that has herself at the center of the picture. She might be "self-less"...but she still has the "self" front and center. --Ironwood

Forget about the wife for a minute, lets talk about you.

I wonder, if I got inside your head, would I will find all kind of living vicariously through others, need for finding an 'other' to blame things on, and other bitch behaviour? I'm guessing yes.

I'll bet you don't lift either, nor have a life outside of your wife. Maybe a low N count (lower than hers anyways, but that's usually a given). You treat her like a princess, very understanding, because you have a giant covert contract. Choreplay and emotional tampons don't get rewarded.

You need to get this through your thick head, past the ego protection, or what you think you're entitled to.

You are given exactly what you've deserved. You are not a prize, you are a setpiece, in the play that is her life, and you play the role willingly, constantly handing over any measure of control to her, as if she will appreciate it and suck your dick. You're not a man, you're a plow horse, and probably a shitty one that don't plow so well either.

Do you know what you want? I don't mean do you know what you're supposed to want, but that actual thing you don't tell everyone, because you're embarassed that you want it? Yeah, that thing. If you don't know what I'm talking about, get your philisophical house in order

Do you lift? Are you the prize? out of all the hours in a day, how many are devoted to making yourself valuable enough that you can command what you want from the world? Do you think that's adequate?

Do you even have the irrational confidence for the value you currently have? Or is everything mirred in self doubt, over thinking things, and general inaction, because you constantly assume the worst case scenario will happen?

Have you accepted the low priority and opinion she has of you, and just owned it? You are needed for sperm and a paycheck, thats it. Feels good right? She doesn't value your attention or affection, yet you still offer them. No one wants salvation army shit.

You ain't special, you're just like every other man here, who has the same way out. Sidebar, lift, work. Own your shit threads are great for holding yourself to account. Don't expect her to touch your dick with any parlor tricks, and get to work.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy

i've added some updates to my post worth

Edit: I've been unplugged since that big argument about 8 months ago, but I still need to work on accepting the low opinion she has of me. My opinion of her has drastically lowered in 2016.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy

Why accept it? Its hers, and has nothing to do with you. Accept nothing, expect nothing.

Just do you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy

Just doing me is what I've been focusing on for months now. The dread is working, judging by the comments I get from her. But it seems her efforts to "fix us" are focused on us doing couples therapy books together, something I consider to be a waste of time. Do I need to spend 2017 just doing me as well? At some point this needs to start to change her response to me, or I need to go to the last steps of dread. At the very least, I'd like to learn how to get her to respond to me better before I pull the plug for my own development. What am I missing?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (14 children) | Copy

Just doing me is what I've been focusing on for months now.
The dread is working, judging by the comments I get from her.

I'm sure you know what comes next

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy

uh.... focus on Dread Level 6 and read Bang, Day Bang, MMSLP while doing catch and release on the side?

I also suspect I need to revisit Dread Level 3 and really commit to getting involved.

its stupidly obvious now that I say it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy

And I would act going back further, and looking at your motivations.

The dread is working, judging by the comments I get from her.

If you're doing this to sprinkle a little alpha on your life, it's going to end badly for you, and you'll start over again once she calls your bluff.

Your job is to be a valuable man, fixing the relationship is in her wheelhouse. Right now, she doesn't care to, because it's working well for her, and she has no worries of losing it.

Waiting for her to flinch is just asking for disappointment

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

Your job is to be a valuable man

I guess this is the hardest one. I'm rich, hung, good looking, and gaining the muscle I needed to round that out. I'll be a 9/10 on a good hair day when my gains start to show better. But I'm struggling to overcome this limp noodle mentality I've developed with each marital failure (I know I need more IDGAF).

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

So you know the saying right?

  1. be attractive
  2. don't be unattractive.

Whenever 2 comes up, you default to showing off 1. Ego protection is my guess, but who knows. Regardless, your provision is no longer how to establish dominance, not since women can earn (through career, or divorce).

I argue you're sabotaging yourself by leaning on your crutches, but you'll know better than I, I have very little to work with, /u/abdada has some great comments about women and the hunt, they would be worth a read.

The fact you have your beta game on lock means nothing... those looks and muscles aren't inherently attractive. But they allow you to become attractive, through pre-selection, dread, and fostering options in life, which gives you power.

Even in my best blue days of my relationship, it was fun, sexy etc, but it's a different beast now. I give my old lady that tingle of having a horse in a stable. she has a fast one, but he could jump the fence if he wanted...

And some part of the lizard brain just gets off on mate retention behaviours to keep him there.

But the horse doesn't think about that stuff, he will jump that fence if he isn't fed well, so he can find food elsewhere.

it's a bit rambly, hope the mindset expresses the idea

[–]abdadaRed Beret3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

I am a 3/10 on a good hair day. I've lifted for years but as a natty old dude with Indian genes, I'm DYEL. My house is a 900 square foot shack with nothing nice in it, I don't own a car or a TV, I don't drink or party, and I can and do still date beautiful 20-somethings long term because I have confidence and charisma.

I know a ton of handsome males who are tied down to loser women. Fat, ugly, nagging, angry women. Yeah, their looks are 9/10 but they're ugly in every other way a man should be gorgeous.

Rich doesn't matter. At all. It matters if YOU want to be rich for YOUR purposes. I was rich in my 20s, and it did SHIT for me. Never again.

Good looking doesn't matter. At all. It might get you some IOIs but the minute you talk, they will know you're AFC BB.

Muscle doesn't matter unless YOU want to be strong. IOIs, yes, but a lot of guys who bodybuild (go to the body building subreddit) are permanent virgins and self-confessed autists. IOIs aren't enough because any man can approach and show off confidence and charisma regardless of his haircut of physique.

A woman values a man who values himself. Going to the gym is awesome for YOU, but don't tell HER about it or she will see you as imperfect. I go to the gym but I never tell anyone I'm dating that I'm AT the gym. When I meet women and they ask me if I work out I say "I'm genetically blessed" and leave it at that.

If all you have is wealth, good looks and muscles, you will be outblasted by every other better man who has all 3.

But if you're 10/10 confident and 10/10 charismatic, how many men can challenge you? Tingles from her, not eye rolls.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You called it on the crutches. Makes a lot of sense.

Moving on to the game stage of dread should help me control her hamster better.

Even though I know this is all my problem to solve and my issue I created I can't help get over the urge in the back of my mind to have a gotcha moment where I get to tell her this is what I expected the outside of our marriage and I was very clear about that you've been very lackluster in providing it. having a come-to-jesus moment. I know that won't be very productive and I know it's not going to happen unless I'm already stage 11 of dread but I can't get over the blue pill fantasy.

[–]atlhartRed Beret2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

What are your stats? Weight, Height, BF%? First off, be physically attractive. If you're over 20% BF, then STFU and LIFT.

Next, what level of dread are you on? Do you dress nice? Are you going out with friends? Do you belong to a social or sports club of some kind?

Finally, are you owning your shit. Is your house in order? Do you procrastinate on shit? Does your wife feel like you are a man-child?

Keep working. If she's not fucking you, then you've got more work to do.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

added stats.

I'm generally owning my shit, but she's a very demanding person. Her father was and is the perfect beta husband.

[–]atlhartRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You've got to stop blaming any of this on your wife.

You can't change her. You can't fix her. All you can do is learn to lead. She'll follow, or she won't.

Fix what you can, which is you. Stop focusing on things you can't change.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Nice blame shifting on the pussy FIL

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is all my fault. Just trying to provide some context.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'm generally owning my shit, but she's a very demanding person. Her father was and is the perfect beta husband.

hahahaha. holy shit you're blind.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Agreed. He is doing a lot, but owning his shit is not one of them.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm going to figure this out eventually. I'm a bit thick-skulled though. I have trouble seeing which shit I'm not owning so I can work on it. Don't know enough to know what I don't know

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Work the dread. And gain control of your emotions. You're still a scared boy in your head without true abundance mentality (I'm not talking about other women. Other women will always be there).

On a practical note, get her a job. Kick her out of the house 3 days per week. SAHM is a shitty life for a woman that's a control freak. If she refuses, keep working the dread to the point you can make ultimatums.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

My daughter is 17 months old. I can't relate to you at all.

Pregnancy, I was doing my blue pill darndest to take care of her.

Oh. I see. That's where I didn't make stupid dumbass decisions. Sex and making sure that we still interacted as a couple was maintained as a priority by me, but not by you. The whole notion of no sex was ridiculous and not even an option for me. Guess how long it was between either sex or blowjobs for me. Seriously - feel free to guess.

All of my wealth is in investments (in a protected trust), only pulling in 5 figures right now because I'm working at one of the startups my family owns.

Is this impressive? It sounds like you're a trust fund baby and couldn't succeed on your own so mommy and daddy gave you a pity job.

ski vacations, she hates skiing;

So you take her to do things she hates.... that makes sense. Sounds like good leadership. If this said "I go on vacations regularly", it'd be a whole different thing.

Thanks for giving a biased breakdown of someone who totally doesn't matter.

I have no idea why you're misdirecting your anger at your wife when you're the 100% total faggot who's sprinkling a little bit of more faggot on it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

  1. Yes I'm the beneficiary of a trust fund, most of which I haven't earned, as is the case with most trust funds. I work my ass off to become the kind of man who can triple it. I didn't grow up going to soirees like Paris Hilton. I cut my teeth in the welding shop and at plant start-ups. I'm not telling you all about this for validation, just to provide context to my situation so I can get actionable advice.

  2. Obviously I was a blue pill idiot before I unplugged.

  3. No idea what point you're making here

  4. As I've said elsewhere in the comments, I own that this is my fault and my responsibility. Is there any advice I'm missing here? Cuz it sounds like you just wanna unload on someone.

[–]weakandsensitive-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

how are you owning jack shit when the majority of your post and responses have your wife and baby as the primary driver?

in most cases, a man with wealth = a man with the ability to achieve things on his own. in your case, it means you're a spoiled brat. shit, you can't even get your own job ffs.

i never respond to the person writing, i respond for everyone else reading.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Since the wedding, sex dropped off. Things improved greatly when we started talking about a baby... eagerness, frequency, etc. Made me think things had been fixed so we went off birth control.

This is the inverse of some TRP guys who have a praexology for convincing the girlfriend to have an abortion: Be nice, talk about the future, lead her to the abortion clinic, then dump her ass a week later. Rinse, repeat.

This is the female equivalent and the precise inverse: Cut off sex until he is desperate and compliant, then suddenly be nice, talk about the future, fuck him into a coma, shit out a baby, cut off sex. Rinse, repeat.

Watch this video on How women manipulate men

[–]bala-key1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Our daughter is now 14 months old.

Is your wife breastfeeding?

You might be going up against her hormones in addition to other challenges.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

His challenge is that hes a comfortable beta bux. Period

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

she is not

[–]dandar46000 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

My son is 13 months old so I think I know what you're going through.

First, is your wife breast feeding still? If so that will lessen her drive and energy considerably.

Second, is the baby sleeping through the night? If not, that will make her more irritable and tired.

It does get better as the baby gets older and starts to sleep and eat like older kids do. Until then you need to have some patience. Sex once a week right now may have to be something you have to be willing to tolerate. Just keep lifting, recognize and pass shit tests and don't forget to own your shit around the house. Don't expect her to do everything just cause she may be a stay at home mom. Eventually this shit will turn around and then repeat as you have another baby.

I was having sex with my wife 3-5 times a week before she got pregnant with our second. Now it's more like some weeks I'll have it twice and other weeks I'll have it none. But my son still won't sleep through the night and frankly I just don't feel like gaming her most nights. When I put in the effort and game her she will be responsive if not it's TV and sleep night.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sex once a week right now may have to be something you have to be willing to tolerate

that's been most of our marriage and I have spent most of my patience by now, especially after the shitty response I got after 5 months of no sex. I've done a lot of research on sleep training to make sure that my daughter is now sleeping through the night a majority of the time.

[–]dandar46000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Like I said, after swallowing the pill and losing weight I was having sex 3-5 times a week. Now with the baby I'm having it about as much as you are. If she's breast feeding that will definitely affect the frequency. Read up on it.

Other than that you have to be gaming her. Be playful, initiate and when rejected don't get butt hurt. That you're getting it now at a frequency that was average throughout your marriage tells me that you're getting it more than you would had you not read the sidebar. That means, whatever you are doing is having an effect. Typical blue pill hubby would be in a dead bedroom at this point in time.

[–]NevrEndr0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Shit test: "I'm tired"

Response: "I'm horny, let's fuck"

Shit test: "I just don't feel like it tonight"

Response: "I'm horny, let's fuck"

Shit test: "Not tonight, the baby might wake up"

Response: "I'm horny, let's fuck"

These phrases are not hard no's, she's testing whether you will push through her bullshit or give up easily. At least in my case, pushing through with humor or dominance leads to sex. Just keep pushing. Be persistent. Make sure you are gaming her during the day. If you're ignoring her all day and then suddenly initiate sex you are going to get shot down a lot of the time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Make sure you are gaming her during the day.

talk about this more. I think this is one of my flat spots

[–]anythingincRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree and Amplify and Amused Mastery are two of the best flirting and woman management tools available. You used to know this when you were in elementary school, and maybe highschool/college if you had game and lots of gfs. They weasel in because A) You are agreeing, women love that, and B) you are amusing, women love that too. It can defuse a situation or generate tingles. Plenty here and at Rational Male and Chateau Heartiste (if you wade back through the "Trumpening")

Think about the last time you flashed a wry cocky smirk? Every day? 3 times an evening? Once a week? If you're not smirking, you haven't said anything amusing or flirty, and are not gaming her. When was the last time you used the sly/smirk emoji?

When was the last time you slapped your woman's ass? She's in the kitchen, you grab a drink, SMACK, smirk, back to whatever you are doing? If you are afraid of the blow back from hourly ass smacks and glute grabs then you are miles away from thrice weekly sex. Sorry bro. Build a frame, AA, AM.

SMACK

WTF DARRELL! I AM NOT A PIECE OF MEAT!!

smirk If you were, you'd be filet mignon baby, that's why I eat you even when you're bloody.

OMFG YOU ARE SO GROSS I CANT EVEN WITH YOU NOW DARRELL!!

Love you too cutie, see you tonight, blow a kiss, exit scene.

You just showed frame, AA, and AM with a non-compliant wife. As your game gets better, that smack is going to be followed by her turning around as you pull her in for a quick kiss. If you're the type of guy who can do that 4 or 5 times a day, you're the type of guy who gets laid multiple times a week.

How often do you get away with sexual puns and innuendo? If my g/fs eyes don't roll back into her head as she laughs once a day I know I've been lame and boring. Even better if you can pull it off and pull her in for a quick kiss and and an ass grab before moving on.

You can do all this, and hold frame, and be outlandish and amusing and flirty, because, like her, you are damn sure your spouse is sleeping in your house tonight. You can be confident that, whatever emotions you stir in her, tomorrow is a new day, and you will weather every storm and ride every wave. She doesn't scare you, and you only have one life, and you are going to have fun, if not with her, then with someone else. The list of women who will fuck this guy:

lifting 5x5 stronglifts for over 6 months now. 6 foot, 165 lbs, 15% body fat, good facial bone structure. Squat, bench and deadlift ~1x my bodyweight.

constantly on a ski vacation is miles long.

Also, as been danced around by other comments....get that baby off your wife's tit (metaphorically). Your wife might rage after an ass smack when she's holding your daughter, but if you're holding her then she shouldn't have a problem. Raise your daughter, practice amused mastery with her, transfer that back over to your wife. Don't let your wife get touched-out and over-stimulated, but don't try to be her savior either. A child isn't a get out of sex ticket, she just doesn't want to have sex with you, and that's her current excuse.

Since the wedding, sex dropped off. Things improved greatly when we started talking about a baby....

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

All of this is due to attractiveness, more than anything.

I'll speak on what I can speak on best, from this post: your weight lifting.

You've been at this for 6 months and all you can do is bench, Squat, and deadlift 165 lbs? You are 6 feet tall and 165. You are a skinny bastard.

Why have you ONLY made it this far after 6 months?

After 6 months you should be doing at least... AT LEAST, 1x on bench, 1.5x on squat and 2x on deadlift for 1RM. And you should be into a 6 day a week PPL program and about ready to get into a Periodization program like 531.

Tell me, in a PM what the fuck you have been doing with your fuckarounditis in the gym and we can get into cracking this thing wide open for you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've never tried a 1 Rep Max. These numbers are at 5x5 (1x5 on deadlift). Is there a benefit to doing a 1RM? I've pretty much stuck strictly to the stronglifts 5x5. Here is the spreadsheet, I could really benefit from some advice. There are a couple big gaps where I didn't go much whe n my daughter was in the hospital or it was crazy busy sales season at work.

Here's the link to the file:

https://1drv.ms/x/s!Aq5OajgqteBxprg-fBDr0hqzRCaGxg

I am stupid skinny. I have to work hard to put away enough calories in a day. I've used MyFitnessPal from time to time to help gauge how much I need to eat. I've gained almost 20 lbs since I started, this is the most I've ever weighed, pathetic as it sounds. How do you eat enough?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wake the Fuck up and start lifting seriously.

Can you pass a shit test ? Probably not. Actually talking about the mowing and such, you are in her frame.



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