I recently got into a debate with a fellow RPer about abundance mentality and was looking for other perspectives.

He and I are fairly different in our marriages, he's 20 years in, 2 kids - I'm newly married about a year, dated for about 3, no kids.

He's doing well with lifting, diet, etc. making improvements on himself but having hard time leading his wife. She's a couch potato and eats crap and doesn't want to workout etc. I explained to him what I have learned that your wife is a reflection of you and that he, as the captain, should try to lead her and the family to a healthier lifestyle. He said that he tried and she isn't interested at all.

So here's my takeaway from it, obviously to keep improving oneself and that once ur SMV surpasses hers in her eyes, she'll work to catch up, but I asked if he would ever leave and he said no, 20 years of marriage makes u work and marriage is about commitment, my question is at what cost? At your unhappiness?

So if you factor in dread as a cornerstone of change, how can there be dread without a consequence of loss? If she knows he's her little beta, why would she have to change?

Also, how do others define commitment?