So, longish story short, I was angry with the wife and walked away without saying anything. Instead of ignoring her phone calls afterwards, I answered and once she started with her shitty attitude, I told her she could either talk to me with the respect that I have earned or we wouldn't talk at all and began to yell at her for her fuck up. The anger for her fuck up was justified, but the yelling caused me to lose my frame to strong emotion. Can someone help me to the best way back to where I need to be? Frame wise and whatever else you can think of I might need to hear.
I'm still working through the sidebar reading. I've finished NMMNG, but that was long before I joined MRP. Thanks in advance.
Edit: I think I should clarify, I wasn't shouting during the beginning of the phone call. She started her shitty attitude and I calmly told her that she would either talk to me with the respect I have earned or I wouldn't talk to her at all. She said "OK, I will talk to you right, I do respect you. I'm sorry. But I didn't do anything wrong." It was when she said that she didn't do anything wrong, I began speaking louder and louder until it was more or less yelling. I became more angry the more she defended her actions until she finally admitted she had screwed up and apologised. At that point, I realized that I had lost my frame by letting my anger control me and yelling at my wife. I felt bad afterwards, and told her I would speak to her later. As the night progressed she, began texting me and I texted back, all pleasant. As if nothing had happened. In the morning, (we both work nights) she offered sex. Things were back to normal. But I know I can do better.
Thank you all for your help and words of advice.