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Main event?

by donedreadpirate | December 05, 2016 | askMRP

14 upvotes

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Wife packed her shit yesterday and said she was going to stay at her parents' house for a while. I said very calmly she couldn't take the kids. She could leave them with me and I would work from home this week. She moped around for a few hours and I was relaxed and playing with kids, going about my day as usual and taking care of some chores (laundry, dishes, etc.) Later, I sat her down and told her she was welcome to leave, but I expect time with our children and we had to come to an agreement before she left. She asked if she should leave. I told her I would not tell her to leave or to stay. She said Do you love me? I said yes. I said I wanted to take the kids to lunch and to the play place and she could join us if she wanted. Then we fucked and she moved back in. Last night we had sex for an hour and I gave her three orgasms. First time I have given her multiple orgasms in one session. MRP works. Was this a main event or just a comfort test? It seemed a little too easy and fake. If nothing else this is a positive field report and humble brag because I felt true outcome independence, DNGAF, held frame and gave her crazy tingles. She was glowing all day. Thanks to the knowledge I have gained from the community here.


Post Information
Title Main event?
Author donedreadpirate
Upvotes 14
Comments 25
Date 05 December 2016 02:32 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/206815
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5gm6nj/main_event/
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Comments

[–]Coniferous_8815 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

She bluffed, you called her on it...I've had the exact same test happen to me. Having OI was the very best thing you could have done. You passed. If you keep improving and demonstrate increasing value then you shouldn't expect to see this test again...if she makes a habit out of it, then you need to have a good hard look at yourself and what standards you're accepting from her. Congrats on holding frame through that.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. I will continue to focus on my development.

[–]iloveairplane8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Do you understand exactly WHY she felt compelled to pack her shit? I would want to be clear on that. I haven't come across one instance of a married woman packing her shit to leave unless she had another man she was already interested in or it was an abusive relationship.

Nevertheless: Drama followed by you getting sucked in and losing frame = deadbedroom/divorce.

Drama followed by you holding frame and passing comfort test = tingles generator.

Good job holding frame and passing the comfort test.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Unless your wife is a troll, there is always some dude running game.

[–]anythingincRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

  • Outcome independence
  • Frame
  • DNGAF

Sounds promising OP.

Question:

Starting three days ago!?

Am I being a dick for wanting to sell my wife's craft machine?

I got home last night and she had the house cleaned, dinner ready and dressed up cute with a smile on her face. Incredible sex was had.

Wife packed her shit yesterday and said she was going to stay at her parents' house for a while...

Then we fucked and she moved back in. Last night we had sex for an hour and I gave her three orgasms.

So congrats on holding frame through all this and having the value/SMV to get good results, but what is going on in this house? Is this all just tension from cleaning house? Addicted to drama and tingles? Or (ideally) are we seeing the tail end of her rebellion as she settles down into a content First Mate?

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I guess we will see how it plays out. Gut says it's the rebellion but I wouldn't say this was the end of it.

[–]plein_old2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Great story, so glad it was not another one of these angry silent treatment stories.

It seemed a little too easy

Yikes. Just enjoy what you have man; I wouldn't go looking for additional problems. Unless you really feel you must.

edited for brevity

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (10 children) | Copy

Am I missing something, or is the 'main event' not discussed in the sidebar. I've yet to see a guy describe it properly, usually assuming a separation, or shit test are a main event.

OP, what have you read so far? If this is missing, I want it rectified

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There we go, i fucking knew it had ti be there

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Likely, there is no main event.

A man who reclaims his masculinity in a marriage has many obstacles to overcome. Could be weight loss, job growth, standing up for his self, SMV etc.

Even more perplexing is her ability to need outside affirmation of the mans changes for it to be real. He is probably better but she doesn't know yet, and is slow to learn

I consider what most new MRPers call main event to actually be their first recognized and destroyed shit test. The guy probably failed dozens, maybe hundreds before and these had no name

I promise you even now, TheAlmighty Cad gets tested hard from time to time. Thing is, my response now is learned and reflexive so no ink gets spilled diagnosing a typical dynamic in M to F relationships.

"Honey, our sitter needs next week off so my mom is coming to spend the week with us OK??"

"Hmmm. Sucks we have no coverage but if your mom comes I can work out of Miami office and be back by Sat afternoon"

"Oh, she just needs to come one night. You don't have to actually leave...."

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think it's unclear but maybe that's because so many factors are at play. I have read the MRP Theory main event post by TRWolf several times. My Gains post has most of my reading and I study the material extensively but have I read everything? No.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Either way, the main event is the mother of all comfort tests. Essentially, the last test before a woman accepts the shift in power dynamic in the house.

I'm told some are worse than others, but by the time you have one, the next step is congruence testing, where she submits, and you are in charge, and usually competent enough that she no longer shit tests you for everything

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I will judge whether this was it by what follows.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The main event is not discussed in the pre-requisite reading of the sidebar. Early in my journey I did a "is this a main event" post which was not because I totally missed the point.

So let me be clear with my words based on my reading:

The twelve steps of dred leave a possibility out. That the man will continue to take a leadership role in the family, and the woman will, at some point, refuse to follow.

Prior to FU or F ME, SHE takes some agency and threatens comply or divorce.

This often manifests when the man plans every step of a vacation, and, during the vacation, the woman tries to force her own way and threatens divorce.

Picture the bus leaves at 9:00AM and she insists on taking the next one. You say the bus is leaving at 9:00AM. She insists on taking the next one.

This is a final test of Frame. WILL YOU BREAK and take the 10:00AM bus? Or will you scoop up the kids, leave at 9:00AM, LIKE YOU SAID YOU WOULD, or will you break frame and wait?

What makes it a main event is the (generally explicit) statement by the wife that this is make or break - comply or I go. If she doesn't threaten (or at least imply) divorce as a explicit result of you keepin' on, I don't see how it could be a main event.

The way to win a main event is to follow the power rule of relationships - the person who cares more about keeping the relationship loses.

Leave her and get on the bus.

Let her walk out the door.

The challenge, as implied here, is that if the test has a comfort aspect to it (I don't think it always will, but I'm not sure) and if it does, provide the comfort without breaking frame.

Someone write a good post on the main event that later goes on the sidebar is a good idea. If we don't have one in the next year, I might go through it and write one. I hope I do not go through one tho, main events suck.

But Blue Pill? I tell you what. I AM NOT GOING BACK.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ill have to find where it was written. I know its somewhere in all the sidebar stuff. Must be hidden

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sure it's in there somewhere, I'm just saying, not in NMMNG, WISNIFG, MMSLP. I believe it is a also not in BluePillProfs book, book of Pook, or the MAP.

[–]innominating1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why did she threaten to leave? How long have you been implementing a MAP, do you lift, what have you read, what is you and your wife's SMV, how long have you been together - we'd need to know all of those things before we can tell you if this was a main event, not that it matters.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I guess her and my mom got in a fight while I was asleep... when I woke up, they had made up and the subject moved to me (negative). If you see my first post, I came here after hearing my wife shit talking me to my mother. I told her it was unacceptable and she did it again. She got caught and was embarassed. MAP for many years without calling it that. I am constantly improving myself and have made giant leaps over the span of our relationship. I lift. SMV? She can go from 6-8. I would say I'm a 7 or 8. 6'2", 200lbs., fit, successful, driven, musician, well dressed now, she constantly worries I will leave her and has dreams about all the girlfriends I have... she has seen women approach me in public, even one of her colleagues when she used to work.

[–]innominating1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like a comfort test.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Next time give her 5 orgasms, they she'll really know who's the boss!

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha. Yep.



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