Rebounding from a fuckup

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July 11, 2016

Hey guys,

I've been around here for a while now, lurking back and fourth in MRP and here- I've read all the sidebar stuff, and on and off made some progress. Finally made an ALT to get more involved in these communities

Last night I slipped. We hadn't fucked in weeks, I had been keeping busy, not letting it get to me, keeping a positive demeanor despite the fact that as every day ticked by I was getting more and more frustrated. I was lying in bed, awake, fuming, and I victim puked all over the place:

"I just want to know that I'm not the only one frustrated by this"

Needless to say, this escalated into an argument, maybe more of what you could call an "airing of grievances" on my part, explaining to her how I was trying to be cool but I just couldn't fake it anymore.

I think on one hand the openness is good, but overall it was a total loss of frame- Pussy shit.

Today, wake up, drive to work, need to pull myself back together- How do you guys rebound from stuff like this? I plan to move on like nothing happened, not bring it up again, and keep fighting the fight.

Appreciate the help.

Post Information
Title Rebounding from a fuckup
Author I_Took_The_Pill
Upvotes 8
Comments 20
Date 11 July 2016 04:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's nothing you can do but play it off and keep moving forward. Make sure you don't dwell on how pussy that shit was. Keep an upbeat attitude and act like it never happened. And for fucks sake don't ever do that shit again.

I'm sure you already know this, but get the idea out of your head that you're owed sex. You're not, only truly worthy men get the sex they want. If you're not getting it, it's on you, so keep improving. Also try working on your seduction skills. Even a shredded millionaire will have a hard time getting laid if he doesn't know how to properly play with a girls emotions.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

You haven't fucked in 3 weeks.

Have you been initiating? If so and she has been rejecting you at every turn, why are giving her any attention at all? I don't know how long you've been in your self-improvement, but after 3 weeks I'd just start making a social life separate from her and especially where other women are involved.

If you have not been initiating, then you are making very covert contracts.

In either case, you need to ask yourself if you are someone who deserves to be fucked or that women want to fuck. The only way to know this is by getting IOIs from other women and running day game on women... need to know if you are even desirable by strange; if strange doesn't want you, your wife never will.

[–]I_Took_The_Pill[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have been initiating, but maybe not as much as I could. You're right about the covert contracts, for some reason, maybe subconsciously, I was expecting sex, which I think is why I got so worked up when I didn't get it.

As far as the strange, I'm an attractive guy, tall, in good shape, so women often do hit on me. Good advice to get out and be social, I spent the whole weekend with her sort of waiting for sex because it'd been such a long time, which I realize now was a big mistake.

[–]mabden3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

We hadn't fucked in weeks

Because you have been initiating and she is turning you down or because of covert contracting?

[–]I_Took_The_Pill[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think I've eliminated many of the covert contracts I was relying on, Over the past few weeks there have been lots of soft no's- it's usually pretty evident when it's not going to happen, so I don't push the issue.

As far as covert contracts go, I do still think I have a mindset that "if everything is right, we should have sex" basically, we're alone in the house, just got back from a night out, or something like that, so "why wouldn't we have sex??"

I haven't seen this attitude as a covert contract, but maybe in some ways it is...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't stop. Unless hard no. That's basic stuff

[–]bourbonhipster2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

"airing of grievances" on my part, explaining to her how I was trying to be cool but I just couldn't fake it anymore.

So you went on a tirade and then you openly admit to just putting on an act? and that was supposed to get you what, laid?

[–]I_Took_The_Pill[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

No, definitely not. I just needed to "get it off my chest", and was too much of a pussy to bite my tongue and go to sleep...

[–]Griever1143 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I just needed to "get it off my chest"

This is not a man thing to do. This is a woman thing. You fucked up. She doesnt want your emotions, she wants a leader. Back to the drawing board.

[–]I_Took_The_Pill[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck, man, you said it. Even as it was happening I knew this, but I did it anyway.. weak.

[–]Griever1141 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It happens. As shitty as I sounds, when a fuckup like this happens, I like to say "restart the program." Re-read the materials. It will reinforce the stuff you do well and bring to attention the stuff you are lacking.

[–]sh0ckley2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is ownership.

[–]bourbonhipster1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

obviously, but you seem to be under some impression that you doing all these things in 'rp fashion' = 'get laid' which is not even a covert contract you are placing on your partner, but with the rp concept itself.

"Im doing these things that are supposed to 'work'. Its not 'working'! DAMN YOU WIFE WHY ISNT THIS WORKING!?!?"

thats just my perspective.

[–]I_Took_The_Pill[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think you're absolutely right, that's sort of what I was alluding to in my other comments, it might not be a traditional CC, but it's still a CC.

[–]Olderpiller1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think own of the less appreciated tenants of MRP is STFU. I have avoided many an argument just by saying nothing and walking away. Also when I screw up I most often just ignore it when I next have to deal with the wife make a mental note and move on. You are forgetting how easily women are distracted. Instead of apologizing, text your wife and tell her to meet you at your favorite bar after work, wear something nice. Ignore her questions, show up about 20 minutes early and chat up all the other women, then when she walks in greet her with a kiss and an ass slap. You would be amazed how well that will work. Even she is inclined to make a scene she will switch to mate guard her man when she sees you happy and talking to someone else. Her jealousy will be redirected to pride and wetness when she gets her ass slapped by a guy with social validation.

[–]sh0ckley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This sounds like a great plan. Thanks.

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I plan to move on like nothing happened, not bring it up again, and keep fighting the fight.

Exactly. Just build your frame and raise your SMV and everything will be good in the end.

Think of it like your wife having small boobs. It doesn't matter what she says, she still has small boobs. If she one day comes home with breast implants, she doesn't have to explain her previously small boobs for you to enjoy them.

It is the same with your frame and SMV.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Post about your failed initiations. If you don't have several to talk about after three weeks, then you know where your problem is.

[–]I_Took_The_Pill[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This actually brings up an interesting point, I responded elsewhere in this thread that I'd gotten a few soft no's, and another user responded saying not to stop unless I got a hard no, and that that was one of the basics.

I'm in a situation where, if I push a soft no, I'm probably not going to get a hard no, I'll just end up with some terrible duty sex, which obviously I don't want.

So this makes me wonder, better to leave it at a soft no if I know she's not into it, or keep pushing and have starfish sex result. What do you think about this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What do you think about this?

A common approach is that if you're getting starfish sex, you fuck the living shit out of her anyway.

Another approach is that if you're getting starfish sex, you can say no thanks, have OI, go do something else, etc.

I think either is probably fine, though it depends on the situation. I'm inclined to ask you to post more about your failed initiations in the main MRP sub and go from there.