Postpartum continued through 2nd pregnancy.

TheFamilyAlpha · 2016-05-25T15:47:05+00:00

we got pregnant again

She got pregnant - you aren't a single entity. She is pregnant and you are supporting her.

Another daughter on the way in 3 months

Congrats man, I have a 3 year old girl.

the sex did die pretty much the moment my wife found out about her first pregnancy

It was her first, she probably needed you to be the rock and you just weren't. Loss of frame, masculinity = loss of attraction.

I felt selfish for my needs and so I turned to porn.

Pathetic - yet all too common. You aren't alone, many men have handled rejection in this weaksauce manner.

I tried explaining to her that 1) they mean nothing to me. & 2) when I do watch it, I imagine the day when my wife will be doing that to me. (I just like bj porn) She didn't believe me, so now I'm a cheater and a lier and she can't trust me.

She was right, don't think of it any other way. You were beating your dick to some pixels on the screen thinking you were the man taking that 'sexually amplified' woman to pound town.

Sure, maybe you thought of her doing certain acts, but come on dude, you were watching Heather Brook swallow your cock let's fucking be serious - this is not the place for lies - you have nothing to lose - kill your ego.

Again, you should not have listened to her words about being a liar and cheater, you should have owned it and told her that you are a fucking man and you are fucking attracted to your wife and want to fuck her because men want to fuck and that if she is not going to meet your needs for fucking months then you'll have to find a way to release and it's either porn or the girl at the bar.

Don't repress your masculine nature, own it and EXPRESS it.

She couldn't hug me anymore, couldn't kiss me, didn't want to make me a lunch for work, or breakfast. I now even do my own laundry. That's on top of helping her out around the house when I get off work.

She used that as her 'get out of submission' card because she knew you'd become a weak fuck and she was no longer going to submit to your lack of leadership.

Now she thinks something is wrong with me, that I'm a creep and all sorts of negative crap.

Dude, this is creepy. It is the sad state you've allowed yourself to be thrown into. You have not accepted your sexual identity and society has told you that you shouldn't so you are caught in this land of not getting sex and not able to handle it yourself.

'm extremely crabby

A friend of mine didn't 'release' for a few months. He lost his fucking mind, had crazy dreams, and eventually went to medical because he was afraid if he didn't use it, he'd lose it or that his build up of semen would rupture.

You are a fucking Man Tell your fucking wife with confidence that you are a sexual being and that your sexuality is a part of that. My wife read some article about a marriage where they hadn't had sex in 4 months and looked at me laughing and said she knew I would be out the door - she was right.

I am a sexual fucking dude and there is no way in hell my wife is just going to say nope, no sex forever - FUCK THAT

I will get divorced and remain who I am because I refuse to cater myself to those around me.

Talk to your wife about the real problem.

Does she feel fat, ugly, C Section, flabby, old? What is it about herself that prevents her from wanting to share.

Or maybe it's you. How is your hygiene, fitness, game, kino, etc?

You need to go and blow your fucking load into a sock or down the drain, get your mind right, and own your fucking shit.

EDIT

I get that your wife is pregnant and close to popping, but this issue comes from you being a shitty leader for far too long and her pregnancy does not compensate for her treating your needs like annoyances.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-05-25T15:42:40+00:00

she informed me she considers porn cheating because I'm "lusting" after another woman.

This pisses me off royally. SHE gets to decide when YOU get to have sex. Then SHE gets to decide when you have an orgasm? As a bonus she gets to belittle your sexual needs, play games, torment and shame you.

FUUUUUUCCCCCCK THATTTTTTT.

If you are Christian or if you believe in the actual marriage vows that you took, then I have your answer:

The vows you took while married were:

to have and hold from this day forth.

This means, SHE AGREES TO FUCK YOU from this day forth. You also agree to fuck her. There is no room for: Oh I am not in the mood. Well fucking get in the mood bitch. She made a promise- and so did you.

However, if she decides to break her promise then the promise YOU gave is null and void:

forsaking all others

Thus, it is time for Dread Game.

Bonus advice: Next time your CHEATING wife (yes, a woman who breaks her marriage vows by refusing to fuck you is "cheating") look her right in the eyes and tell her that you are not ashamed of your masculinity, your needs, or your sexuality, and if she doesn't feel like she wants to meet those needs then you will get them satisfied elsewhere. When she whines I would tell her that you will stick to porn during the pregnancy and post-partum, but after that, you WILL be getting your needs satisfied one way or another. Then, REFUSE TO ENGAGE HER ON THIS ANY MORE. This is a boundary. This is YOUR boundary and she has no right to violate it.

now I'm a cheater and a liar and she can't trust me.

She doesn't trust a man who can't establish boundaries. Of course not.

Book_of_dowth · 2016-05-25T16:44:22+00:00

When I talk to her about it or I set my boundaries, she sticks her fingers in her ears and sings "yes Jesus loves me"

Or she leaves, or calls me abusive, manipulative, control freak, woman hater, and a narcissist.

She threatens to leave me and take my daughter(s) with her.

She threatens to call the cops while screaming at the top of her lungs AND when she does this, my daughter starts screaming and crying.

As far as the porn, yea it was the weaker of 2 choices. I hate it but I see NO other way to fix this without submitting to her.. And YES... She has flat out said that I am not a "spiritual leader" so she will not submit to me.

Countpudyoola · 2016-05-25T16:00:27+00:00

Now, the sex did die pretty much the moment my wife found out about her first pregnancy. After annoying her for sex I realized I needed to get by on my own. I felt selfish for my needs and so I turned to porn. I really felt this was the best way to take pressure off my already stressed out wife. Well, she confronted me on it, I openly admitted what I was doing. BUT.. she informed me she considers porn cheating because I'm "lusting" after another woman. I tried explaining to her that 1) they mean nothing to me. & 2) when I do watch it, I imagine the day when my wife will be doing that to me. (I just like bj porn) She didn't believe me, so now I'm a cheater and a lier and she can't trust me.

Ok so this is a mixed bag.

On the one hand you LET the sex die. Mull on that for a second. You then take the easier route and just spank after quantifying your marital expectation of sex as "annoying her" for it. How about try another approach if what you are doing is coming across as an annoyance.

You don't combat hunger by filling up on junk food. You don't combat a lack of intimacy with quick porn fixes.

Yes, if you're in a good relationship where you're getting your fill + you have some to spare, then porn away the excess. In this situation it'd wager it's a crutch for you. It's an easy way out rather than trying the harder path.

The rest of this is revolving all around her hamster wheel and you jumping in it.

What do you want from her? Get it or get accustomed to outcome independence.

Is spanking instead of screwing in your MAP?

Give less fucks about what she thinks about a specific activity. To her: you either fap or not, with actual or mental imaging it's none of her business. Don't ascribe it or peg it to her not doing the marital dance.

Then personally channel some of that junk-food-esque energy into getting back in charge of your life and your marriage.

The meta here is you married her to have a wife, not a mom. Encourage her to be the former by improving yourself: A.A., A.M, improved physique and being manly. Don't let her be the latter by passing shit tests, ngaf about the rest and having a lot of O.I. activities.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-05-25T16:02:15+00:00

First, "cigs & pot" are bad. Stop that.

Second, your post almost sounds like that of a super religious guy who married the super religious gal that freaks out from porn. EXCEPT I then get to the part where your wife is aware of the "cigs & pot"... And now I'm wondering what else in your life doesn't make any sense...

Third, this post will explain why you feel like shit after the whole "she WILL let me stick it in her" bit. https://www.forums.red/p/TheRedPill/3947/every_unhappy_wife_is_a_rape_victim

Archwinger · 2016-05-25T16:14:56+00:00

When you give a child power, the child doesn't wield it fairly and for your mutual benefit. It just asks for even more power to see if you'll give it that, too. And sure enough, you keep delivering.

Title	Postpartum continued through 2nd pregnancy.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	May 25, 2016 3:22 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4l05ww/postpartum_continued_through_2nd_pregnancy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/postpartum-continued-through-2nd-pregnancy.207407 https://theredarchive.com/post/207407

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