SAHWs and housework

teaandtalk · 2018-07-23T08:15:36+00:00

What does a SAHW do all day if not the housework? Without kids, there's nowhere near a full-time workload in housework. I'd be peeved if my spouse stayed at home and didn't do all of the chores.

Hdhdjjduufjndjidjdfj · 2018-07-23T09:33:42+00:00

I think yes, the SAHW/M should do the housework, but the husband should also be owning his own shit enough not to be adding to the workload unnecessarily. That means he puts his dirty clothes in the hamper, rinses the sink after shaving, doesn't leave dirty cups or food packaging lying around.

DoctorNini · 2018-07-23T14:56:26+00:00

No, you are absolutely right. I am on maternity leave, so basically a temporary SAHM. Even with a newborn and breastfeeding every 3 hours, the house is spotless and I have a warm meal ready when my husband gets home.

I have friends who are SAHMs who don't get half done of what I do, but that is because they don't treat it as a job. If you are used to working 40 or more hours a week and you apply that same mentality to being a SAHM/SAHW, you should have no trouble at all.

LaBiciclette · 2018-07-23T15:40:21+00:00

Yes absolutely. I work from home but even so I do the bulk of the housework (although thankfully not all)!

I have friends who are SAHMs who like to brag about how much their husband helps around the house. They come home and wash dishes, vacuum, etc. And I also know lots of SAHMs who complain endlessly about their husbands not doing enough of the housework.

I honestly think this is why so many working women look down on stay at home mothers. In some ways, I think being a SAHM is comparable to being a government employee. You are very unlikely to ever get fired, there's enormous leeway for slacking off, and over time lots of SAHMs, like lots of government workers, get kind of lazy and entitled.

Hope that doesn't come across wrong!! There are lots of amazing SAHMs out there, just like there are lots of great civil servants. I've done both jobs myself. Just saying there's a lot of potential for taking advantage.

eowyn85 · 2018-07-23T16:34:05+00:00

I'm a sahm to 3 littles. My husband is not expected to do any chores at all. Nor do i expect him to ever get up in the night with the babies or kids. He does put the trash cans out on the street and bug spray but thats it. Why would a wife expect her working husband to do chores?? What benefit is that to him??

Alisa_rosenbaum2 · 2018-07-26T19:16:44+00:00

I think it becomes a lot more thankless drudgery depending on husband's attitude, passivity, and manliness. If he just plays video games all day and can't manage simple tasks when you have a doctor's appointment; if he subscribes to they view that "anything I can't do must be easy" ( a la Dilbert boss), etc.- any of these in varying degrees and the woman will eventually get resentful, regardless of her official workload, her husband's occasional forays into "choreplay". and her work quality overall.

So when SAHMs are resentful, it's probably a complex interplay and vicious cycle between their husband's deficiencies and their own. Varies on a case by case basis of course.

With your cousin, one might wonder if she "doth protest too much" - does she secretly resent her husband for having to be a SAHM but overcompensates with self-righteousness? Who knows.

Edited for spelling.

GratefulWifeandMama · 2018-07-25T02:22:26+00:00

I think that sounds like the division of labor would be super unfair in your cousins house. My man works hard all day long. I get to stay home and clean when and how I want. If I spend four hours doing household chores I still have at least four more of leisure or in all actuality active parenting time. I feel very lucky to have found someone willing to support this lifestyle. When I hear my friends complain I can NOT relate because there are few places I would rather be than in the garden with the kids or baking something or even blasting music and cleaning the tub. My life is pretty dang awesome and doing all the chores is just a part of what makes that work.

JustScrollOnward · 2018-07-24T02:55:10+00:00

As a SAHM to two very little ones, I agree with you. I don’t expect my husband to do any chores at all, except feed the dogs, take out the trash, and mow the lawn. I don’t even say anything if he leaves out dirty clothes or dishes anymore. It’s not worth the nagging when it takes 5 seconds to pick up after him myself. My house is pretty darn clean I’d say and I work hard to keep it that way. I imagine that SAHWs who can’t keep their house clean (especially without toddlers destroying everything in sight!) seriously lack discipline.

Title	SAHWs and housework
Author	LaneysWorld2
Upvotes	13
Comments	15
Date	July 23, 2018 7:54 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/9155s7/sahws_and_housework/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/sahws-and-housework.208446 https://theredarchive.com/post/208446

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