Wives, Honor Your Husband's Preferences

nukessolveprblms · 2017-09-26T21:47:01+00:00

Really encouraging. This weekend me and my husband spent it "relaxing" at the lake cabin, but to him that meant kayaking twice a day, we went out 4 times! Now, I didn't want to honestly, but I wanted to spend time with him and he loves going in the early AM and at dusk, so he asked me to go each time and I could have said no, but choosing to enjoy that time with him was really special. I gained more being out in the water with him for an hour than I would have reading a book or playing on the phone. And afterwards he told me our weekend away reminded him of our honeymoon! Lol, it's funny cause as a newlywed I would NOT have done that and chose to relax my own way.

jack_hammarred · 2017-09-26T15:29:39+00:00

This article is chock full of greatness, and it’s not a lengthy read. Still, I’ll summarize what I deem the key highlights. I look forward to hearing what you enjoyed, and to discussing how each of us have/haven’t mastered honoring the preferences of those who matter most to us. I do think this is something that applies not just to our men, but to other important people in our lives who we value accommodating.

I figured that what my husband wanted me to do wasn’t a matter of holiness and sin, but a matter of personal preference—so what was the urgent need to honor that preference, especially if it made more work for me?

Sometimes disregarding a man’s preferences is shockingly, and unsettlingly, easy.There are plenty of things that might get in the way… his preference may come up at a time when our minds are otherwise occupied, we have more important things to do, or we’re being spiteful about something and decide not honoring a preference is an innocuous way of getting back at him. Whatever the excuse, it’s no good reason not to honor your man’s preference.

Why didn’t I want that? Was it worth that extra 20 minutes of sleep I got each morning. [...] While on the surface, these things seem to cramp my style, in reality, honoring these things would be good for our marriage and family.

What are we really gaining by not acquiescing? Remember those times you made your man beam with pride or happiness? Why would you ever want to deprive your man of that happiness, or yourself of the satisfaction for giving him happiness?

Think about what happens when you don’t honor your man’s preferences. You’re telling him his preferences don’t matter, that you don’t value the opportunity to make him happy.

Think about the things inside him that make him like a family breakfast, red nail polish, blackout curtains in the bedroom, not texting after six at night. While it may be a passing fancy, it also might be a tangible actualization of a deep seated value for family, intimacy, or uninterrupted togetherness.

This final bit is the best.

Also, have you ever considered that the very leadership you are hoping for might be expressed through your husband’s preferences? That the connection and intimacy you long for in your relationship could be fostered as you take an interest in the things your husband likes and enjoys? Sometimes it feels like adapting to someone else’s preferences is too much work, but [...} our joy in marriage can actually increase as we make sacrifices for our husband’s pleasure [...]

FRedington · 2017-09-26T17:26:25+00:00

I figured that what my husband wanted me to do wasn’t a matter of holiness and sin, but a matter of personal preference—so what was the urgent need to honor that preference, especially if it made more work for me? He brought up the idea of a freshly prepared breakfast a few more times after that, but eventually got used to fending for himself.

Sigh ...

Waldorfmutti · 2017-09-27T15:33:54+00:00

The text is too christian/preachy for my taste - although she does make some good points.

vintagegirlgame · 2017-10-08T08:05:32+00:00

Aww, this made me happy. The morning ritual is the best! He and I both LOVE breakfast. Every day I make full on "brunch" complete with frothy cappuccinos, orange juice (in mimosa glasses) and a variety of breakfast specials.

We usually like to start the morning doing yoga together (at home self practice), but if we're rushed I don't hesitate to end my practice early or skip it so I can make breakfast. I'm happy to let him have the time to do his full practice.

So refreshing to see other women who are proud to cater to their men's preferences. Sometimes I feel like I'm "spoiling" him but what's good for him is good for us.

StepfordInTexas · 2017-09-26T21:53:03+00:00

What a great article. I've been struggling recently with my inner brat. Specifically the idea of "if he doesn't strive to make me happy, I'm not going to do anything extra for him". I'm not feeling appreciated recently. The answer to this isn't withholding though. There's got to be another way. Thanks for sharing.

dailyqt · 2017-10-09T03:38:31+00:00

So, I get the merit, but can someone explain why it's more important for women to honor their husbands' preferences than it is for men to honor those of their wives? Genuinely wanting to know your take on it.

Title	Wives, Honor Your Husband's Preferences
Author	jack_hammarred
Upvotes	24
Comments	22
Date	September 26, 2017 3:28 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/72l3li/wives_honor_your_husbands_preferences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/wives-honor-your-husbands-preferences.208754 https://theredarchive.com/post/208754

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