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WOTSM - Withholding Ejaculation?

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January 31, 2019

Listened to WOTSM a few times now, and it gets better with each listen, but I am still utterly confused about the chapter on withholding ejaculation during sex. Any of you do this? I understand the premise that a woman shouldn't have that power over you, but seems so counter to natural instinct, plus it's pretty awesome to cum in a woman.

Interested to hear your interpretation and experience with this.

Post Information
Title WOTSM - Withholding Ejaculation?
Author magnoliagent123
Upvotes 25
Comments 38
Date 31 January 2019 04:18 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret48 points49 points  (14 children) | Copy

I've listened to it no less than 10x - those specific chapters. I'll give you my take.

Ejaculation is power. It's a pretty raw power, one that both sexes crave. However, it's about who's in control of that power. If you're fucking your woman hard and deep - watching her body move below you while she screams in extasy you're in control of your ejaculation.

I think of my wife as a siren. She naturally at times wants to control the ejaculation because she momentarily wants me to feel good. Allowing your woman to control that is signaling to her that she has raw ultimate power over you. Sure, she like it when you cum because it makes you and her feel good.

When you choose your own pleasure over hers, it signals to her: "Great, I'm happy he came. But he chose a momentary splurge of pleasure over my own pleasure. I have the power to drain him anytime I want. I am powerful over him." ..... this goes completely against dominance in the bedroom.

If you are in control of the ejaculation, you don't give her that power. You CHOOSE to ejaculate. Sometimes you don't.

Have you ever been with your woman and fucked her senseless then not cum in the same session? If you haven't try it sometime and watch her reaction. She might even beg you to cum for her. She may get back down to slobbing on your cock just to make you. Hold fast: "Not tonight, baby. Next time."

What do you think happens when you have that kind of control over the most primal natural instinct?

Strength, motherfucker.

[–]Redpillbrigade1713 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

This. They go batshit when you don’t cum. The best is when you’re on your way out the door, and she holds you inside for longer, starts giving you a blowjob, to drain you some more and make sure you don’t have enough to give it to another woman.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

They go batshit when you don’t cum.

Can confirm. Nice explanation by /u/hornsofapathy

[–]Cam_Winston212 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Isn't cumming on her face accomplishing both the orgasm as well as exhibiting some semblance of power over her? Let's face it (SWIDT?) they're submitting themselves in a manner that could be called demeaning (most of the women who refuse it cite that as a reason) and mostly for our benefit. About the best your average woman will get out of it is satisfaction that they've pleased their man.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

Who's in control of that ejaculation?

That's the real question.

You can choose to cum anywhere but done with true dominance and choice some places are better but they're all good. With that said, I prefer the face for the added dominance as well. She does too. Especially if I haven't cum in a desirable session

[–]Cam_Winston211 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

An argument could be made (I'd make it) that the blowjob to completion itself is a power play on the part of the man, even though the woman is the one doing it. It's a situation where she is presumably doing the heavy lifting and controlling the outcome (SWIDT, again?), but the action itself is her subservience completely for his pleasure.

[–]jerrymcguiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My wife said she loved giving head when it was her initiation and would smack my hands away if i tried to touch myself during and said it was her penis. She says that being jn control of when i cum and doing all the work and how i give her all my attention during the act makes her feel powerful as if she's sucking my power from me.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'd argue the opposite, within a different context.

Think of your semen as your deepest natural primal energy you have. Who is pulling in this situation?

You could argue that shes in control and drawing this energy (pull) out of you rather than you pulling her into your frame

[–]Red-Curious8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Goodness ... and people say I'm the one who over thinks things.

[–]Cam_Winston211 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You could argue that shes in control and drawing this energy

I'm thinking zero prison-bitches doing that to Big Nacho would agree with the argument that they're in a position of power.

[–]jerrymcguiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Depends on if they get some nachos afterwards.

[–]light-----------dark1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Brilliantly said, u/HornsofApathy

[–]j_arbuckle20121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How does a woman withhold an ejaculation?

[–]eco9790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There is a big caveat. About 30years ago found similar ideas in some yoga books. Tested it and worked like a charm. My sex life improved, my partners were developing addictive behaviors to our moments of intimacy.

Fast forward to 50yo me. Now is a real struggle to come. It is as if my body somehow internalized the "do not cum" and is now my default modus. It is like a shitty side effect.

Just my $0.02 As with everything, moderation is golden

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

I don't think he actually recommends this for all men but presents it as an alternative. This technique is drawn from Tantric Sex methods developed in the far East thousands of years ago. The philosophy was that holding onto your essence (semen) increased your Yang Energy or some such.

The best application I have seen is for men with premature ejaculation. Once you learn to hold it in, you can keep going and going for as long as you want.

[–]Flaskborst5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

How the fuck do I learn to hold it in?

[–]swampbarbarian2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

it's counterintuitive - you have to relax all of your muscles (tense muscles = orgasm) and focus 100% on every feeling in your body. you have to "watch" what pleasure is and feels like, you have to know it inside out. then when you're fucking, you know exactly where you sit on the curve to an orgasm. if you get near the point of no return, slow your roll and let your body go back down the curve. then throw it in and start pounding again. after awhile you will build a very good knowledge of your energy and your point of no return and you'll be able to delay it longer and longer until you hit a point where you never have to cum until you want to.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have wore a male chastity cage two times.

Did not care for the first time. The second time was intense. You think being deprived an ejaculation is maddening try being deprived a hard on when your woman is purposefully trying to give you one.

Sex is power. Ejaculations is power. I have no problem every blue moon giving her that power. Makes her feel like a strong woman over a strong man. But you can only do it so often.

For her tying her hands and feet to the bed and using a wand on her clit and depriving her of an ejaculation is pretty amazing as well.

Bottom line is it really doesn’t matter what any of us have to say. Try it if you like it cool if not cool. You make your own sex decisions

[–]light-----------dark5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not sure what WOTSM is, but I’ve been withholding ejaculation during sex for about 8 months now.

A few of the many benefits that I’ve experienced are:

  • Increased energy throughout the day.

  • Increased mental performance: memory recall, easily learning new language, critical thinking.

  • Sex lasts for hours (I’ve gone upwards of 3-4 hours straight at times).

  • Full body orgasms (shaking, vibrating, white light - this is distinct from climaxing/ejaculating)

  • Multiple orgasms for the woman, and heavy flow of secretions.

  • Deep bonding between both partners.

It’s a life changing experience, and I feel like a fucking god.

Mantak Chia’s book Taoist Secrets of Love: Harnessing the Male Sexual Energy goes in depth about this practice.

In short, our semen is our life force - we literally create life with it. If we aren’t creating life, there’s a strong argument to made that this life force can enhance our own life, experience and vitality when harnessed - it’s a bit esoteric, but those who dabble can benefit from it.

Lastly, from a psychological perspective, and this is speculation / theory from my own experience, this practice seems to demand respect from women. A woman can get semen from any guy she wants - there are hundreds of thousands that will give it up at any moment to get their jollies off. Additionally, it requires effort for a man to control ejaculation at his own discretion. . So for a woman to receive multiple mind-blowing orgasms while flowing like Niagara Falls, and for a man to command the entire experience without climaxing (but still benefit immensely), how can she not respect that?

Just a few thoughts. It’s not for everybody, but it’s very rewarding for the few that explore it.

Edit: it may be worth clarifying that the above is not the only way to demand respect from a woman, but it is one way. . Given that TRP is used for navigating sexual strategy, perhaps it’s a relevant way to be considered.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m not married, but it definitely instills dread in some women. It’s put them on their back foot. Was I not sexy enough? He’s saving it for someone else? If a woman won’t blow me before sex, then after sex if I haven’t come, she’ll blow me! I don’t know why men won’t use this technique. Your orgasm is your trump card - use it!

[–]maxofreddit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think it has more to do with self control. Basically, if you can control THAT, then you probably have a pretty good base for controlling other parts of your life.

If I remember right, he’s also big on ducking long enough to give a cervical orgasm, which, from what I understand, is even more intense, but it takes a while for the lady to get there.

There’s some undertone there of “dependability” if I remember right as well. As in, can she depend on you to hold on long enough so she gets her jollies out, if you can’t, then she’s “too much” for you and it throws her perception of you off (you’re lower).

That’s me going off having read it years ago. I could be putting my own shit in there a bit. ;)

[–]Don_Draper272 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can learn to orgasm without ejaculation. I love it. It feels just as good as ejaculation, if not better at times. And, you don’t deflate and physically collapse after. You keep your energy, if not gain energy because you have pent up sexual energy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

For me, it can feel better and give you an longer orgasm if you do not ejaculate.

Other than that, I personally have so much sex that it is difficult for me to ejaculate. Probably once every 3 times I get off. Recently it has been more. We go till I orgasm. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't.

When she does, it's super hard if she hasn't for a few times, same with me. The longer you go, usually the better it feels when it does happen.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think the Latin for this type of line of thought is

Autistico et retardo.

No thanks.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Autistico et retardo


What's the point of fucking if you don't get off?

[–]mabden1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

> I am still utterly confused about the chapter on withholding ejaculation during sex.

Purity of Essence

[–]JTCX1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Not sure what WOTSM is.

Manual Chia - The Multi Orgasmic Man.

Powerful book, and any men who want to explore that side of their sexuality, I'd recommend reading it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Way of the superior Man.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mantak Chia is the author of that book.

[–]JTCX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. Auto correct on the phone.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, it’s retarded. Not into that.

When MCT wants to bust a nut he does so.

[–]DJiamuzak0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Late forties guys here. Every year we do a week sex vacation (planned by me). What younger guys don’t realize is that sex twice a day is draining. I only nut on the last day. 1. That way I’m rock hard leading up and spew a gallon after a week. 2. I have complete control over her orgasms. 3. Like another post said, I can last as long as it takes for her to be rubber legged. 4. She is so sexually charged she’ll do anything. 5. It’s discipline and mastery over your hind brain. 6. Women appreciate someone w self control. I overheard my wife tonight bragging to her friend on the phone that I stopped drinking.

All in all, I recommend you try it.

[–]Imaginary_Historian1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dunno. I am just not that focused on my GF's pleasure like that, but focused on my own instead.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man, I love fucking my wife until she needs lube and then she is grinding on me doggystyle and she is squirting buckets, knowing in the back of my mind I can control myself for as long as I want.

Don't fucking power trip over this, just learn to control yourself

It’s a good idea to mix it up and let her know she does excite you, but you do need some things for you, to send you over the edge.

This past weekend, a very salient comment was made after a fuck fest when I decide to blow in about 12 minutes vs 1/2 hour or not, after some foreplay, planting the seed of needing some more “fun” vs me just inserting and fucking all the time, thanks to having to rush, thanks to kids

[–]Imaginary_Historian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why do we want power over women anyway? Isn't a big part of it so we can have our way with them sexually when we want? I don't see the point here of limiting my own enjoyment of sex as a way to get that power. And for what, so you can have more sex that you don't enjoy fully?

When I fuck a girl I am going to cum, end of story. She may or may not cum.

But I suppose if you get off from having more power than from actually getting off, then more power to you.

[–]ManguZa-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dunno, seem useless to me.

[–]jerrymcguiver-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Yeah baby cum for me!". Nah fuck that cum for yourself. Cuming for her is in her frame bro.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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