How do I stop feeling inferior?

Ghugtyal_d · 2019-03-23T05:44:20+00:00

This is a very common feeling. A lot of guys/girls I've met face this issue. Even I've had my fair share of feeling inferior to other men and women. Here is what you have to internalise:

All men/women who are richer, fitter, more confident, smarter than you are no different than you. They are not gods, it didn't happen to them, it was harvested by them. They have put effort in getting things that they want from life. All these things ( money, confidence etc ) are by product of the work they've done towards their goals.

So you gotta follow the process, you gotta do that work. Eventually you'll overcome this feeling. But this will take time.

It's highly likely that it's a reflection of your relationship with weaker, poorer, less confident people. So stop judging people by their physical bodies, money etc.
Please stop thinking of what other people think of you. It's a viscous cycle. Today you want to become like A, tomorrow you want to become B, then comes C. You will ruin your life chasing these delusions. Just focus on what you want.

Here is a quote " Let people do what they need to do to make themselves happy, mind your own business, and do what you need to do to make you happy ".

:)

Filmguy000 · 2019-03-23T09:16:11+00:00

There are many factors involved in social hierarchies. A lot of the "superior" people that we encounter are that way due to hard work on their part. But just as many are in that bubble due to genetics, social environment and other factors. And those people do seem to have "more" of everything in general.

But always remember that you can always improve on so many things as long as youre alive. And these people that intimidate you are not immortal, nor are they supreme beings. Everything they have can be taken away at any moment.

I knew a dude that was the shit since he was a kid. Very attractive, came from money, oozed confidence and was basically a celebrity in the community. It was to a point where he had at least two to three girls around him and another five or so guys around at all times. Well, he became even more popular when he turned 18 got a nice truck with the hydraulics and did tricks in the streets.

Last I heard, he is now a vegetable that can't move or speak. And he is fed through a tube. He took that truck out and got a little too daring and took it off a cliff and had severe brain damage. Very tragic.

The point is, as shitty as you may feel, I bet that dude I mentioned would do anything to just be you for a single day. Just keep improving, there is no finish line for creating yourself.

redhawkes · 2019-03-23T11:12:50+00:00

Your problem is comparing to other people especially in areas you’re lacking. You’ll always come second best ( inferior).

Only compare to the man in the mirror. Be better than yesterday. You can’t be someone else, engrave this in your head.

Another thing, read about ‘mental point of origin’. You’re stuck in someone else’s frame.

AnxiousProof · 2019-03-23T06:23:02+00:00

The best way to rid yourself of an existential crisis like you're having is to load more responsibility upon yourself. The best way to feel superior is to do superior things. Do what others wont, refuse, or don't have the strength to do. It can even be small things. How many people do you know actually keep a decent sleep schedule? How many people do you know make their bed perfectly every morning before they even brush their teeth? How many people do you know that consistently choose work over laziness and relaxation?

Keep a journal and record your activities, your accomplishments. Read what you've wrote and imagine you were an editor objectively comparing what they're reading to what average people do.

Go to a major grocery outlet in your area or some comparable public place with a large healthy sample of the surrounding population. Take a look around, that is your competition. Would you consider yourself above, below, or right about the level of which you witness? If you're honest with yourself in regards to the aforementioned, then your answer will clearly tune you in to what needs to be done in your life to allow yourself that style of life which you seem to crave.

You might also look into social hierarchies and how it's directly related to serotonin production within the brain. You're formulating an opinion of yourself somewhat by comparing who you are and what you do with everyone else around you. That's perfectly fine, we all do it, but not all will admit it. This is what makes us the deeply social creatures that we are today. Look at it from a logical stance as well, a lot of what you feel is a result of evolutionary conditioning so to speak.

We are intelligent primates living in a 21st century society of smartphones, drones, 90 degree angles, and EDM music. Shit's confusing sometimes, but it's best to follow your primal instinct (gut feeling) because it knows what's good for you most of the time. When's the last time you asked yourself what you really want? What will actually satisfy /u/redblueninja?

*Edited for grammar, added more material.

ggggggggee · 2019-03-23T08:14:27+00:00

Yea I know this feeling. I feel like dudes that are taller and more jacked than me are subtly challenging me all the time. I kind of just hate other men.

cluelessguitarist · 2019-03-23T16:20:47+00:00

Things that worked for me 1. Being your own source of validation/ comparing myself with myself using goals. 2. Gym/ lift stick with a lifting program for a few months 3.learning a martial art and sparring, this will allow you to learn to be in in the moment plus you learn how to defend yourself. I recommend BJJ and kickboxing. 4. Always challenge yourself, keep improving work silently while being diligent. 5. Be in the present get out of your head.

[deleted] · 2019-03-23T07:58:26+00:00

I recommend reading The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck.

mleko69 · 2019-03-23T06:30:34+00:00

Sometimes I have similar thoughts about myself. I've been reading about mindfulness recently, and it seems to be helpful. Simply try to focus on things that are really important for you: your goals, happiness, well being. Random people you meet outside probably don't have any opinion on you (just like you don't have any opinion on them), so why bother?

niczar · 2019-03-23T12:42:22+00:00

Stop judging people. That includes both those you presently consider above and below you. Then it becomes easier to not care about other people judging you.

Tjinsu · 2019-03-23T13:13:39+00:00

The way I got over this is just by accepting that no matter how much I improve, someone or something is always going to be better than me. Some girl will be hotter, some guy will be richer or more "alpha", whatever the case is. Its an endless battle to the 'top'. Even though I've moved up a lot - the reality is tons of others are still above me.

Its all up to you to take responsibility and improve as much as you can. Don't look at it as competing against others or being inferior so to say, look at it as a battle against yourself. It really is you vs you in the end, you're the one who can improve your life. Some things just never change and the faster you can accept what you are and improve as much as you can, the faster things get better. Don't dwell on it, thats all I can say.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2019-03-23T19:17:33+00:00

Shame is one of the most common defense mechanisms against cognitive dissonance. It is a way of trying to avoid living in the immediate now.

Remember that jealousy is a definitive trait of a Scarcity Mentality. You see yourself being in constant competition against others for you own tiny, limited slice of the pie, which you imagine is dwindling by the second. And others are clearly, obviously getting a bigger slice than you. Most importantly you see yourself as having inner scarcity, as lacking inner strength and inner value.

Why are you so obsessed with how much better/stronger/faster/harder you suppose person XYZ is? Why aren't you focused on taking steps to become a better you today, this week, this month?

If you were more focused on the latter, I almost guarantee that others' lives wouldn't bother you.

GarethBaleWannabe · 2019-03-23T14:49:55+00:00

Like other's say it's a common feeling. I going to offer a different viewpoint that has not been mentioned. You stated that with certain people who are superior to you in your line of work, you feel comfortable with them. But with people you meet socially, you feel inferior and uncomfortable with them.

Reading that forced me to reflect on myself because you helped me to realize that I feel the same way. For me, and I am sure it is the same for you, growing up, alot of people who I deemed superior to me (parents, teachers, coaches, peers) often brought me down, disrespected me and made me feel like shit. There was no respect from them.

So when you meet new people who are superior to you, you feel uncomfortable because your probably worried about this person treating you like shit, just like all the others. The people in your line of work who are superior to you gained your trust and have shown that they will look out for you and your best interests.

Do you think I hit the root cause?

forsaken_in_the_dark · 2019-03-23T19:01:39+00:00

Do you have your own mission? Focus on that. There will be always people better than you. You should learn from them instead of resent them.

The feeling is just a feeling. You can better control thinking about your feelings by practising meditation.

Velebit · 2019-03-23T13:07:48+00:00

Your feelings are irrelevant. If you are short, ugly, poor, have screechy voice, bad/no hair etc... you are what you are.

In the west, you are on the bottom of the heap, emigrate to a 3rd world country in Africa or SE Asia.

Stop wasting your time if you are a 5'7 arab manlet trying to compete with Danes gtfo from there ASAP.

_Anarchon_ · 2019-03-23T12:47:21+00:00

There's likely something that you're good at, and/or something that you really enjoy. Make yourself the best at that, and take some pride in it.

DerpJungler · 2019-03-23T12:47:48+00:00

https://illimitablemen.com/2016/02/28/champions-mentality-how-to-stop-being-a-loser-become-epic/

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2019-03-23T14:08:56+00:00

keep asking your slef why are you not enough - like 100 times

You will come to the conclusion that there is no reason why you are not enough

search youtube for alex you are enough

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3-EpyOrjBk

[deleted] · 2019-03-23T15:14:59+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPCAvzIFY-s

ghosts_of_me · 2019-03-23T16:12:18+00:00

You can undercut the external attributes of someone by focusing on your own personal satisfaction and ensuring that your mood is good beyond theirs. Then you guarantee an emotional win in this sector at charry on wondering if their dick is bigger than yours.

latinasonly · 2019-03-23T16:34:21+00:00

consistently do things that make you feel good about yourself. go above and beyond the average person in your accomploshments doing things that YOU like.

goblinboglin · 2019-03-23T06:21:37+00:00

This can't really be helped if you think of yourself that way.

I am usually being irrationaly over-confident.

Do that.

Title	How do I stop feeling inferior?
Author	redblueninja
Upvotes	104
Comments	28
Date	March 23, 2019 4:35 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b4ezbs/how_do_i_stop_feeling_inferior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-stop-feeling-inferior.222977 https://theredarchive.com/post/222977