When should I initiate?

Reddit View
April 6, 2019

I found MRP months ago, decided to stay quiet, study the side bar, read the material, put it into practice, work on becoming a stronger, better, more attractive 27 year old man.


180 lbs


In shape,

Good looking,

Good career,

Rewind to the beginnings,

I got married at 22 like the blue pill bitch that I was, we had our first kid nine months later. I got fat, lazy and complacent, The sex dried up as soon as she had him and she lost all desire until we weaned him. Well, my emotions got in the way when the monkey sex came back and we decided we were ready for baby number two. It's been a year since the second son was born and in the meantime I found TRP and MRP.

Sex has been lame and the desire hasn't come back yet. I lost my desire to have sex with her over time.

I began TRP journey and have stayed true to the path about seven months ago.

I read NMMNG and there is a chapter that talked about actively choosing to not have sex for a set amount of time to prevent yourself from accepting bottom of the barrel sex and begging for it.

It's been three months now since telling her that we should take a fast from sex.

I know she's not going to have organic desire until her cycle comes back. She's in mom mode. (Yes, I know your wife started fucking you mindlessly right after your kid was born) All women are different.

My question isn't what should I do to get my wife to have sex with me. That's easy.

When should I come off of "monk mode" if that's what you want to call it. When should I start initiating sex again?

I COULD go for much longer. But to he longer I go, the more shitty I start becoming as a husband. I am feeling more and more distant. I have very little emotional attachment to her now.

Where did I go wrong? What should I do next?

(Off topic but I am very thankful for you guys. You are my brothers, you guys give hope to many men. You are doing God's work)

Post Information
Title When should I initiate?
Author DeanMaverick13
Upvotes 8
Comments 29
Date 06 April 2019 03:29 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/224506
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ba5fsd/when_should_i_initiate/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
monk modethe red pillthe blue pillNMMNG

[–]0io-Tsundere17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should be initiating a lot and should have started a while ago. If you're not having sex with your wife you should be getting divorced. So, have sex with your wife. That means you have to keep initiating often.

Who has your wife been having sex with for the last three months while you conduct your experiment?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

“When should I imitate?”

Whenever you want to fuck.

[–]GoodWillFunky12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was the most outstanding thing said by Carl this morning on the podcast: “I’m not getting pussy. She’s getting cock” All MRP resumed right there. Go and meditate about it.

[–]red88lobster10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

You should be initiating when;

You walk into a room and she is in the room. She bends over to pick up anything. She gets out of the shower. You get home from work. She gets home. She is home. She's alive

[–]Red-Nerd132 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

^ This is a great & specific list. The last one is gold.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

You went wrong when you let your faggot ego play a stupid game of withholding sex with your wife so you wouldnt either get rejected, or have shitty sex because you failed to inspire desire in your wife. Either way - you're being a faggot.

Cut the monk mode out, game your wife and initiate when you want.

[–]Rogue684861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy



[–]InChargeManRed Beret7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, hormones, stress, sleep, etc etc etc will affect desire.

You know what else? If Chris Hemsworth was in the picture her libido would come back like a Benny Hinn miracle healing just took place. She would guzzle his cum like it was the elixir of life.

The point? It isn't that she doesn't want to have sex. She doesn't want to have sex with you. You need to get your mind around this before you can advance to the next chapter.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Frame and Owning Your Shit as the leader of the pack has a lot to do with her desire and mother mode means nothing.

As does menopause on a woman’s desire to fuck and blow

[–]DeanMaverick13Uncle Vas Sectomy[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I second this. Especially the menopause. I used to work in a factory and had plenty of old dirty cougers who had husbands trying to get my number.

[–]SuperCrazy070 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Wait, what? You won’t fuck your wife but you push things with dirty old cougars to the point plenty of husbands are trying to contact you?

[–]marv86kw4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think he meant

Cougars, who had husbands, trying to get his number. His grammar and word are off.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, no. The husbands of the cougars wanted sex with him. He's not fucking his wife so you can't blame them for thinking he's actually a bitch, or gay.

[–]Red-Nerd133 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Two things, don't talk about fight club. If it gets brought up, you just say I'm reading some self-improvement stuff or whatever you want. My wife only asked once,I said some growth/improvement books. She didn't ask again. It's common for me to be reading this kind of stuff. Finance, business, personal growth, etc.

Second thing, the sex memorandum is for you, not her. Some guys here think it's dumb, I personally used it. I didn't say anything about it though. I put a time limit in my head to pass on sex if it wasn't what I wanted. If I did get what I wanted, then I'd take it, Fuck furiously, & give her lots of attention & affection as a reward.

When I got what I wanted, I was happy to give her what she wanted. I was done play the earning game though. If she didn't give me the sex I wanted, I'd simply say, no thanks, I think I can wait, slap her ass or something of the sort and switch topics. The point is of the memorendum is to release your dependence & expectations so you can just be happy regardless of what happens.

It doesn't happen overnight, and you'll get told no, or offered starfish sex or hand job. You as the leader just politely say that's not what your after and move on with zero hard feelings. I said this once and it was really effective, "No thanks, if all I wanted was to get off, I'd just go rub one out in the bathroom. I'd want to be with & connect with you". It was in a joking tone, but one of those jokes that we all knew was kinda serious.

Every situation will be different. You need to asses how to move forward with yours. I can tell you that over time I have reached a point (within reason) where if I want sex, I simply take it and she comply willingly, wettingly, and happily more often than not.

[–]Greyhawke6969-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you mean "sex moratorium," not "sex memorandum."

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

I credit reading NMMNG with the majority of my unfucking, but there are 2 parts of NMMNG that I strongly disagree with:

1: The party that said you should tell your wife that you're working on improving and even have her read the book.

2: You guessed it... Sex moratorium.

Initiate whenever you feel like fucking. If fucking is important to you, and she is refusing to do it when you initiate, you have some choices to make. If you're not initiating because you're afraid of rejection, you're really just afraid to face the bigger truth: she doesn't desire you and she doesn't see you as a high value man. You know these things to be true... You're just going with the excuse of a self- imposed moratorium because that hurts your feel less, amirite?

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

1: The party that said you should tell your wife that you're working on improving and even have her read the book.

/u/niceguycoach from the /r/NMMNG says he's heard Glover walk that back in the last few years. I think even Glover realized that's a bad idea.

[–]niceguycoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, if memory serves, I first heard him say that at the NG Recovery Conference in 2016.

[–]johnn20156 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think this monk mode of yours is an excuse to not get rejected anymore. Instead of try to initiate sex with her you should make her wants to have sex with you. Work on your game, flirt, take control, not be needy and be generally attractive.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you read a book telling you to go on a food moratorium, would you do it? I mean, would you starve yourself to death because someone suggested that you should do it?

The fuck you would.

[–]BostonBrakeJob1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When do you want to start initiating again?

More importantly, how do you initiate? Be honest. Is she a rubix cube or a sex toy?

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's been three months now since telling her that we should take a fast from sex.

Um, why would you do this?

[–]DeanMaverick13Uncle Vas Sectomy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I fucked up and was a dumb fag. Heard Robert Glover recommend it so I took a swing. Lesson learned

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When should I come off of "monk mode" if that's what you want to call it. When should I start initiating sex again?

Next time the kids sleep.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Muscular In shape, Good looking, Good career,

And gosh darn it people like you.

Except your wife. I wonder why?

[–]sars4450 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're over thinking this. Just initiate when you want to, and often

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I set up this situation w/ my(48) girlfriend(33). We both sleep without any clothes. Given the simplicity of the first situation, I naturally assume that any time she sleeps in my bed naked, she is interested in sex. Makes initiating sex a lot clearer. Occasionally she gets in bed w/ underwear on and when I roll over to pull her close I’ll tease her “what is this crap? “ She literally days “oops, sorry” and giggles as she gets takes them off to be naked. It’s all in how you set it up.

Now sometimes, she is interested in sex, but the timing isn’t ideal; tired, long day, early meeting, etc and we don’t have sex when we go to bed. Do I get butt hurt? No, initiate in the morning.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter