I am trying to post in OYS since I've not done that yet but I can't seem to post in there for whatever reason so I am resorting to posting here along with my question.
I am 28 5'9" 135 skinny manlet battling biliary cancer since late Jan. Used to be about 160 and looked better than my now constant Skeletor cosplay. Not looking for sympathy.
Lifts: 3 sets of: Bench 115x10 Squat 125x10 Deadlift 200x10 Curls 90x10
In addition I do 3 sets of pushups of about 100. Situps with 25lb weight of aprox 50. Pullups x 15.
These vary wildly day by day due to treatment and have all suffered majorly from the treatment.
I've read NMMNG, WISNIFG, TRM, MMSLP, MAP, The Sex God Method, WOTSM, and a handful of other redpill but not sidebar books.
Test level at 395. If anyone has any advice if I should consider TOT please chime in.
I now see most of what I have asked you guys as trivial because I did not give the full story but the advice you've all given has been invaluable so thank you all for what you have contributed so far.
My wife has been basically over the relationship since December and I haven't understood why but I think my illness has played a huge roll into me DEERing and other stupid shit I just can't have fathomed doing with literally any other woman. Yes, I have oneitis bad. Anyway, I have to work like a mad lad to be even able to afford treatment and so those of you who have answered my questions in the past know that I work 80 hours a week, have anxiety intermittently, and am very negative. I was not comfortable admitting my disease until this moment right now. I'm sure I will be super uncomfortable that I even posted this immediately after I post too. It's a hard pill to swallow for me but one that needs to happen. I am completely in my wife's frame right now and I see the way out but the old crab in a barrel keeps happening with me and her. I feel like I really don't want to push her away especially right now but in not wanting to that is exactly what I am doing as you all most obviously know. The only thing that keeps me solice is the fact that I know she isn't getting dicked down by anyone other than me as her culture is completely against that kind of thing and is very strict. I have to be better for myself. I feel like a complete fucking simp around her but not around anyone else because she is the only person besides my parents that know about my condition. I am constantly overthinking shit and being negative. I need a fucking handle on my life.
Two questions are: how can I get my frame back and when does it get better?
I grew up in instant gratification time so it's hard for me to not just expect that. Thanks in advance and I hope this clears shit up.