Let Go Of Female Friendships

odaman8213 · 2019-05-29T01:29:46+00:00

I'm going to adjust this just a little bit.

If you're a low SMV Newbie to the TRP space, you should by all means drop the stacies that aren't shelling out bobs and vagene, right now you need to focus on self development (Lift lift lift, lose flub if you're a fattie).

However, there is a high level exception to this rule. If you have progressed far enough in your TRP journey to get the physique, and understand AF/BB & AWALT, you can actually use platonic female friends to your benefit.

Imagine you're at a club with your six-pack abs and your new platonic friend stacy, other girls automatically view you as both high value and not a dangerous-threat because they see you conversing with stacy, and she's super into it (Because abs & AWALT, remember?). Now when you're in-set you can pull other girls into the conversation based off of the energy you and stacy and currently bouncing around the venue.

But wait, there's more.

Stacy has hot friends, becky, and sydney. becky & sydney are both single (Except for beta-billy but he doesn't count). Now Stacy will introduce you to becky and sydney and because Stacy already trusts you, game becomes much easier with those girls.

The key for working this social circle game is to understand that you already need to be high-value before attempting this! If you try social circle gaming and you're just a sad beta-orbiter, you will wind up being used as exactly that.

CarnelianCore · 2019-05-29T00:30:44+00:00

keep maintaining frame and passing shit tests for no reward

Maintaining frame and passing shit tests is a state of mind, not just an activity you choose to do to get a reward.

anonlymouse · 2019-05-29T00:45:37+00:00

One of the keys to TRP is being able to make observations for yourself, you can verify whether a claim is true, false or plausible. I've ended more friendships with women than I've kept going, and among those that I've kept going I definitely am not getting any financial or professional benefit from them. Nonetheless, I'm not getting any grief.

If you need to set a rule for yourself like this, it means you can't figure out which ones are causing you problems. Given that is the case, cutting them all off isn't a bad solution, but you'd really be better off developing a sense of which ones will cause you problems, and which ones won't.

AWALT is a problem if you're stupid enough to get married, or move in with a woman. If you're living independently, just having them around you shouldn't be something that breaks you.

KingOfPomerania · 2019-05-29T12:02:00+00:00

Female friendships are fine and useful, it's friendships with women that you may find attractive that are to be avoided. They just open the door to exploitation. I've got a lot out of my friendships with unattractive women. They've helped me with my dress sense and they unintentionally help to raise your SMV when you go out clubbing.

Nice_guy_99 · 2019-05-29T06:36:14+00:00

Your reasoning falls on the premise that female friendships lack utility aside from sex. I disagree with this premise.

Female friends are excellent indicators of the status of your own game, and moreover the ability to sustain attraction through familiarity is an indication of good game. It should not be stressful at all.

Obviously allowing them to be a blatant strain on one's resources is horrible game, but anyone who would allow that to happen to himself should have other priorities than socializing with women.

teveza11 · 2019-05-29T13:35:19+00:00

I disagree wholeheartedly..

I have TONS of female friends.

I don't have time to hook up with them. I have a dozen that I can call on the phone who will do me favors and help me with things.

I have one female friend in particular, who always hooks me up with her fine friends.

I have another female friend who has hooked me up with tens of thousands of dollars worth of easy money making opportunities (I help her too), she is high SMV, and so am I, we are allies.

This thing about not having female friends is so wrong. People here complain about female friends, but male friends aren't any better.

When you are successful, male friends get jealous over your accomplishments and your women.

I agree with the the concept that you aren't going to be successful with women by trying to be their friend first, and hoping that blossoms into a relationship.

But having female friends is the result of being socially successful and has many benefits.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-05-29T16:36:17+00:00

Generally speaking, female friendships are transactional - Briffault's Law - "What have you done for me lately?" - still applies. That's 90%-95% of "friendships" with women. Don't believe me? Wait until you really need to count on them for something.

From time to time, though, you can find a real "Ride or Die" bitch. Ex. I have a friendship with a Russkaya. That's also transactional in some way, i.e., she cooks for me from time to time and if I need any mending or similar she does it. I provide an escort for her to company functions when required etc. That said, I sometimes joke that if I cut off my OLTR's head, the Russkaya would appear with a hatbox of the appropriate size, dispose of the evidence, and never speak of it again.

So all in all, it's ok to have female friends, but don't expect much from them.

redpill_scientist92 · 2019-05-29T00:31:55+00:00

In order to get laid, you have to tolerate shit tests, maintain frame, and pass them. The benefit is usually that you get to have sex with the girl that’s shit testing you, but with friendships it’s different. There’s rarely a reward for passing them. Shit tests are just an annoyance that come along with knowing her.

This is exactly why I have a couple female friends. I didn’t have any for a few years but started noticing a few different buddies s/o’s shit testing me on the regular. Mainly just a way to find out who I am and judge me from there to see if they liked their boyfriend/fiancée/husband hanging around me. With some of them I massively failed and others I passed. I keep them around and are friends with them as a way to learn more about shit tests and be able to identify them, and it’s definitely worked. If you don't have at least a handful of female friends, you will never learn more about the nature of women, which is a huge problem. You'll end up just becoming angry and bitter.

flyinghorse1 · 2019-05-29T08:53:00+00:00

I've got quite a lot of female friends - I don't find them attractive so its fine

Psychological_Radish · 2019-05-29T18:25:59+00:00

I agree with Rollo that it isn't possible to be friends with a woman in the way that men understand friendship. Moreover, inter-gender friendships are almost always in the woman's Frame. Men become friends by doing an activity or going through an experience together. Women become friends by sitting around and talking. Most of the time, men will defer to the feminine idea of friendship in these situations. That isn't good practice for Frame control, so I don't advocate it.

In college, I had several women that I considered to be good friends. But in retrospect, they really weren't. All of us boys were totally in their Frame. They could be fun, but they only hung out with us when it was convenient for them. When they went to parties thrown by higher value men and women, they never invited us despite repeated requests. After we graduated it became clear that we really had nothing in common; the friendship was pretty superficial and based entirely on similar classes and mutual friends/acquaintances.

There are guys in this thread advocating using women for reasons other than sex, which is fine. But this isn't friendship in the way that friendship has always been understood by men.

monsieurhire2 · 2019-05-30T01:37:04+00:00

"Now, if you bookmarked her for later, she’s going to subconsciously sense your interest and shit test you even harder. She’s not going to respect that you didn’t go for it when you met her. A random dude with the same SMV as you is going to have a better chance with her than you are. You completely fucked yourself, and not even because you fucked up your chances with her, she’s one of many. You fucked yourself by wasting your time."

I would think this would only happen if you entered into the friendship with a hidden agenda, as opposed to, you entered it for the sake of a friendship. For instance, I'm involved in an activity that has a virtual mandatory female participation, so I'm kind of ambivalent about the women. I enjoy the activity for its own sake, so I'm happy to be friends with the women. What this has led to, is the following:

Women who view my friendzoning them as a signal that I'm high value, so they try to win my approval. Interestingly enough, the woman's looks aren't really a factor. It's more of a case of do they find me attractive for whatever reason. So this applies from HB5 to HB 9.
Women who view my friendzoning them with suspicion, because they simply can't imagine a guy who isn't interest in trying to get into their pants. This says A LOT about them, to me, actually. It says that they have a low opinion of men, and that they have low self-esteem because they think all they have to offer is sex, and that men value sex alone.
They think I'm gay.
They think that I think that I'm above them, and then they resent that and become passive aggressive.
They think that it's "weird." Similar to 2., but without the friendly veneer. This is usually because they didn't find me attractive, and my lack of interest in them fuels their insecurity.
Women who take the friend-zoning at face value. They are either in relationships, or are ambivalent about finding a guy, so they are coming from a place of abundance. They are happy for the extra attention, but since they have no agenda aside from socialization, they don't get into weird mind games as much.

and 6. are desirable outcomes. 3. is fine as long as they don't start with the tedious "r u gay, lolol?" business. 2. 4., and 5. all suck in their own way. Obviously, you can't please everyone, so there will always be category 5. women. Everyone has their fans, and their haters.
and 4. are the most annoying and problematic because the women will try to extract something from you, or be passive aggressive because you're not giving them what they feel entitled to in terms of time and attention. This can manifest as them pretending to be your friend and sandbagging you behind your back, or it can be them constantly shit-testing everything you say and do.

However, I'm largely ambivalent because I don't look to this activity as a source of romantic partners. If one comes along, fine. But I enjoy it for it's own sake.

[deleted] · 2019-05-29T01:11:15+00:00

I only have friends with benefits. In the past 5 years I maintained 0 relationships but had 5 or 6 friendships where we hang out and fuck usually whenever we chill. I currently have 2 but have not been looking for over 1 year. Which is funny cause I have been way more successful with smashing women. But its almost like an ego fulfillment, once you have it, you no longer feel you need it. So I stopped wasting time meeting new women.

Every other female that didn't want to have sex with me I dropped as friends.

xoxuv · 2019-05-29T17:15:55+00:00

A female friend is great to contact other women. Her friends are your potential hookups.

If you talk with a female friend in a social environment, other women get interested in you. It is much easier to pick up other women after they see you interacting with your friend. If you approach other girls with your friend in arms, and start flirting, pick up becomes much easier.

Also, you have chances of getting out of the friendzone after you had sex with her friends, and she sees you picking and flirting with other girls.

HumanSockPuppet · 2019-05-30T14:34:41+00:00

This is good advice for the RP newcomers, of which we will always have many.

Mods, a point for /u/RamessesVII.

SeasonedRP · 2019-05-30T22:44:48+00:00

I have female acquaintances who are business colleagues, and that can be useful, but typically when I see someone arguing in favor of having female friends generally, it is someone who doesn't want to own up to being an orbiter. He may throw around hypotheticals about pre-selection but never actually closes in any of these situations. If women truly think you are high value, they aren't going to want you anywhere near their friends or otherwise try to help you hook up with other women.

archaic-guy · 2019-05-31T10:45:45+00:00

Friendships are not bad the problem is that what you are calling friendship is just plain friendzone + oneitis wich is always one sided

I have multiple friendships with females that have helped me to get laid and accepted in groups where otherwise i wouldn´t becuase preselection not to mention the amount of favours that they did for me.

AAThrowaway5 · 2019-05-31T19:09:42+00:00

Found the guy in perpetual friend zone

yomo86 · 2019-06-01T23:06:47+00:00

Let me make this short for the young guys here. When your woman-friend needs something you are to give it to her for free 'cuz friendship and reasons. When you need something forget it because you did something which renders her friendship-duties mute - and you might make contact with hamster-chan, the little fucker that can create shit out of nowhere.

Way2ManyTakenNames · 2019-05-29T01:55:23+00:00

"...but unless it’s a professional relationship that can reap a financial benefit, friendships with women can only cause you grief and you should let go of them."

Bullshit.

Some of my best of friends are women, they help me out when I'm down more often than not unlike my fellow guys (exceptions made). They aren't uncomfortable to see you in an emotional state, and will lend a helping hand whenever needed.

Your issue is clearly that you don't want a true, genuine friendship, but another person to leech off of.

Edit: some spelling.

SalporinRP · 2019-05-29T15:49:35+00:00

This post reeks of someone who just reads TRP theories online and has no experience out in the real world.

Social circle game is probably the easiest way to get laid. If you have hot female friends you get instant social proof with other women.

scorpionkg · 2019-05-30T03:30:37+00:00

And what about Friends with benefits? Keep the friend stuff or not? Do you guys think that fwb is beta pr alpha?

EdmondDaunts · 2019-05-30T13:42:48+00:00

It sounds like you are focussing on the woman rather than yourself. If you are trying to say have standards for what defines a friend then by all means drop people.

But then you have to apply those standards to yourself too.

Value yourself first and actively maintain that. Weeding out of people will be a consequence. You don’t have to actively manage that.

Field_Of_View · 2019-05-30T19:57:08+00:00

The point of female friends is that they connect you with other women, plus an element of pre-selection when you meet those other women.

Flynn-Lives · 2019-05-30T22:59:23+00:00

I don't necessarily disagree with the conclusion but I'm not convinced by the reasoning. I think shit tests are just a part of human social interaction. Shit testing is just manoshere jargon for banter and good banter is a trademark of good friendship. Whining about them just makes it sounds like you suck at them.

ozenmacher · 2019-05-31T10:34:25+00:00

My experience in life continuously goes to show that the "friendzone" can go both ways. I will consistently friendzone my female friends, usually because I just see them as that, a friend, or I am just plain not interested. What I usually then find is they find me attractive, sh*t-test me constantly, and I just get sick of it because I saw them as friends only. As others have noted, if no benefits, why deal with it? Passing sh*t tests can be fun when you get something from it, but in my life it just turns into games/drama as the sh*t-tests ramp up the longer you ignore their advances. I find my life to be far less drama filled when I just don't bother being friends with women. Women love to have men around, but if it isn't mutual attraction, they get a lot more benefit having men around, than I do being around them (they get free validation, attention, and confidence women love). You as a man are far better off passing the sh*t tests of a woman you are mutually attracted to instead. Otherwise, women are masters at turning their orbiter status into something beneficial for them, anyways. Be friends with women at your own risk.

turbospeedsc · 2019-05-31T22:24:31+00:00

Female friends can be extremely useful, as long as you maintain your alpha status they're extremely devoted to whatever cause you pitch, they are loyal in the sense that as long as they see us as top dog they defend you to the death, they're unloyal in the sense that as soon as they see weakness they're gonna shit test you to death.

DarkSyde3000 · 2019-06-03T09:58:54+00:00

Never had any of these issues. If you have attractive female friends whom you hang out with when going out on the weekend, etc it does nothing but help you. This is of course providing you're actually friends with them. Go into an establishment with two or more of them and then tell me your game isn't elevated by their mere presence. Some women out there serve far more purpose by NOT having sex with them, because they create a never ending stream of it from other women on your behalf, (Hell the ones I use to hang out with back in the day would actually do most of the work without me saying a word) which makes them extremely valuable to have around. Ignore that at your own peril. If you're being shit tested, you're doing it wrong.

Mushonix · 2019-05-31T15:48:56+00:00

First : I don't see why you need to avoid female friendships, if a girl annoys you, she shouldn't be your friend to begin with, just like anyone else in your life.

Second: Just like everyone else, women also can bring new possibilities for things, not just getting laid. If you cut them out just because you're not fucking, you are just showing how much you value sex over anything else, which leads to:

Third: Do you think Chad Thundercock keeps thinking that he shouldn't be friends with a girl just because she didn't suck his cock? There's already a line of plates that he can fuck whenever he wants. He has an Abundance Mentality to not care about that kind of shit, and neither should you.

Zech4riah · 2019-06-03T19:58:26+00:00

Friendships with females are ok as long as it happens with your terms. It may be even preferable if the girl has wide social circle with lots of single girls.

Title	Let Go Of Female Friendships
Author	RamessesVII
Upvotes	52
Comments	60
Date	May 29, 2019 12:02 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/bu7kt0/let_go_of_female_friendships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/let-go-of-female-friendships.240038 https://theredarchive.com/post/240038

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