I've been dating a guy for about 4 months now. As the honeymoon phase is kind of winding down I'm trying to sort out my feelings. I'm afraid of being too picky, so looking for an outside perspective. I'm 24, he's 25, both working full-time.

We're both Christian, but it's kind of starting to seem like he's mostly Christian because he thinks that it's tied to Western Civilization. He went to church with his parents for most of his life, but he seems kind of unfamiliar with anything deeper than children's church level stories. Which I get, since I was in the same position about a year ago, but he is very defensive of any reading of the Bible outside of what he has in his head. He doesn't really put a lot of emphasis on going to church/getting to know people at church, but he will if I ask him.

He's also very anti-left/liberal. I'm not a liberal myself, but I have friends who are and I think they're good people, and we just disagree on politics. When I talk about liberal friends or public figures with him, he tends to assume the worst about their motivations, whether he knows them or not. I try to assume the best about people, and I don't really understand what benefit you get from not assuming the best (this is something that I'm open to exploring, it's just so far from my personality that I really can't understand it).

The last thing is a more recent thing that I guess has always been true, but has been bothering me more lately. Whenever I (or anyone, honestly) says anything that he disagrees with, he latches onto it and we have to have a whole conversation about it. A recent example: we were watching a documentary and the narrator said something mildly political about women's rights in the 1700s. He said that was a dumb thing to say. I said that I heard something different, and then he went back and replayed it. We were both partially right, so he took it as a win for him. I just wanted to get on with the day, so I let it go. I think this is also an issue of perspective. I look at these kinds of things as a conversation where we're working towards understanding. He's said that he's looking at these as a debate which one person has to win.

We have very similar visions of how we want our lives to be, and as long as no one says anything that he considers leftist we have a lot of fun. Just looking for any tips about how to address some of these issues, hopefully from someone's personal experience.

​

Thanks!