Q4All: Do you agree that a woman who lives by herself and enjoys life without seeking a relationship is viewed as strong and empowered, while a man in the same situation is seen as a loser? If yes, why?

ekmetzger · 2019-08-30T17:41:32+00:00

I do agree that it's mostly like this, yes, for better or worse.

It's because an average woman can literally get fucked/get a relationship whenever she wants, so her loneliness is perceived as a decision to not get dicked. 'You don't need no man, you're beautiful just the way you are, being alone sometimes is good for your individuality/mental health, etc.'

An average man literally cannot get fucked whenever he wants, at least not in general, so his loneliness is perceived as a consequence of him not being good enough to get women. 'It's his own fault, he could/should be better, he could do more, etc.'

87AudreyHorne · 2019-08-30T17:45:26+00:00

I think it's kind of the opposite. Like, sure you'll get some "girl power" lines but the standard view of single women after a certain age is that they must be desperate and regretful. If they have pets, it's a substitute for a child they truly wanted (even if they hate kids.) If they drink/party, alcohol is just a way to fill a void in their empty lives. If they have friends, they are substitute for a husband. If they have sex, it's a sad substitute for a stable relationship and family. If they dont have sex, they must be hungry for it and frustrated. If they have a great career it's a substitute for family.... you get the idea.

Somehow men seem more believable. If they are loners, they are loners. If they have a dog or a cat, that's sweet, man's best friend. If they drink and party, they are happy bachelors. If they have careers, they're just successful. No one sees whatever their lives are as filling voids or poor substitute for children and wife. Some will call them man babies but that term reeks of jealously and is different than implying they are secretly miserable. It's just shaming someone for not having to "grow up" and live life of respinsiblity over life of fun, but theres no denying life of fun is enjoyable to the person leading it.

I'm sure in both cases the more isolated, socially unadjusted, or simply unattractive types get equally pitied. But theres some collective idea that women always really truly want husband and kids no matter how much more interesting stuff they do or how much their life was exactly what they wanted and picked for themselves.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-08-30T18:02:15+00:00

yet women who live with cats and boxed wine are celebrated

why are you all so retarded? are women so alien to you that you cant see the way women try to pump up female losers to make everyone "Feel better" and to be nice?

what youre seeing when you see women "celebrate" female losers is NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOURE SEEING

D0GMEAT007 · 2019-08-30T17:36:30+00:00

I believe it’s a result of the constant societal viewpoint that no woman needs a man but that every man needs a woman.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-08-30T17:47:30+00:00

I fully endorse women living alone with cats (or in my case, a lap dog) but life is too short for boxed wine. Splurge on the good stuff.

mistresswhat · 2019-08-30T18:11:21+00:00

Consider the media coverage of Jennifer Aniston over the years. She's a wealthy, successful actress but neither of her marriages lasted and she doesn't have a baby so she's gotten a lot of poor-desperate-single-childless type articles in the tabloids.

Versus George Clooney's coverage during his long bachelor years before he got together with his now-wife.

pnadlerlaw · 2019-08-30T18:22:38+00:00

Umm, no?

There’s no automatic judgment regarding either one.

Now, when they’re 50+, that’s a different story.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-08-30T17:59:40+00:00

as always i have to ask "Viewed by whom"

cunty women who want to shame you on the internet? "Feminists" ? your mom? normie ESTJ grown up men? your friends? twitter? girls you want to date?

Bestprofilename · 2019-08-30T17:37:22+00:00

Again and 100 times over, it depends on the guy.

A guy like me living alone who is actively avoiding LTR's but could easily get them is not a loser nor seen as a loser.....but is seen as selfish.

A guy who can't get a date to save his life is seen as a loser.

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NockerJoe · 2019-08-30T17:57:27+00:00

Disagree. I live alone and nobody calls me a loser. Remember millennial's are more likely to live with parents than a spouse so just being by yourself is no longer a low bar and a failure. Hell being by yourself can be seen as an achievement.

The only people shaming the young men living alone and living their lives are bitter women not getting any, because these men don't chase them. As much as people say "the wall" is fake you must remember none of these "being a single woman is haaaaard" articles are being written by under 30's.

cassandrarose39 · 2019-08-30T17:59:20+00:00

No I don’t agree with either. Past a certain age of someone being single I wonder why they aren’t able to form a lasting commitment with someone. What kind of hang ups do they have? Are they a really difficult person? Where do they land on the big five personality test? Mostly, are they anti social? Are they that severely mentally ill?

I don’t see women or men as strong people for never having any kind of long term relationship with someone. I don’t feel sorry for them either though. But I absolutely don’t trust them.

Ofourkind · 2019-08-30T18:07:45+00:00

Does she spend her free time shitposting about how awful men are and complaining about everything? Loser.

There's a world of difference between MGTOWs and bachelors. Everyone knows at least one or two cool bachelors.

goatismycopilot · 2019-08-30T18:08:59+00:00

No, women who live with cats and boxed wine get roasted by men everywhere. So do guys who only work and game. Nobody celebrates either, they are tropes.

I would still like to get funding for cat or puppy island.

There are lots of single people who are leading contented lives but they aren't writing confessional social media columns. My happiest married friend is older quite well off and literally lives in a separate state from her husband, they have a weird marriage. My other married friends are not a great endorsement for marriage. One of them has a husband who golfs all the time another has a husband who needs her to do everything from deciding what is for dinner to planning vacations. Several aquaintances have husbands that don't want to go anywhere or do anything with them.

My happiest single female friends all have a good deal of disposable income. They travel, they shop, they have nice homes, they have parties some of them have BFs some of them don't.

The working class and middle class ones tend to have more anxiety about money, financial planning and managing than being single ie do they have enough saved what if they get sick blah, blah.

katymarx · 2019-08-30T18:47:52+00:00

On Reddit I read about how pathetic my existence must be, or women like me have given up and if younger lady can't land a man by 30 she should prepare for the terminal suffering of cat lady life.

Otoh the exalted mgtow has ascended beyond mere mortal for harnessing the power to kick that pussy off a pedestool,out the door, down the street,and lock the door behind him.

In real life, I know several older single men and women who are doing just fine all on their own. Perhaps they are post divorce or ltr, or are just set in their ways now and not motivated to upheave their lifestyle. I look at people as losers on an individual basis. And I removed negative self-defeating wet blanket losers from my life because I don't have time or energy to deal with them.

blackedoutfast · 2019-08-30T19:21:17+00:00

it depends. probably 90%+ of the people who say they enjoy being alone and don't need a relationship and all that are full of shit. and that applies to both genders. the strong independent woman who don't need no man and the MGTOW are both in denial. they're not single by choice, if they could have the kind of relationship they want with the kind of person they want to be in a relationship with, they would drop the "i prefer being single" act in an instant.

but i disagree that people see perma-single men as losers but celebrate women. on a general level, society may tend to shitting more on the male version right now, but a lot of that is because everyone is annoyed by incels.

on an individual level with people i know, i don't really see that kind of hate. it all depends on the attitude of the person in question. if they're constantly whining about their romantic struggles, that gets annoying af. but if they have a generally positive attitude and honestly seem happy and content despite not having a relationship, no one is going to think badly of them at all.

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