Q4ALL What marks the beginning and end of a romantic relationship?

wub1234 · 2017-04-19T18:12:45+00:00

The fact that this question can be asked speaks volumes in itself, as it is indicative of the fact that guiding social codes have broken down and been replaced with nothing.

Whether it's a good thing to have social codes or not is debatable.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-04-19T18:29:33+00:00

It starts when you change your Facebook statuses. And it ends when the sex dries up. The purpose being to establish monogamy while you vet this person for marriage.

philomexa · 2017-04-19T18:32:47+00:00

The romantic relationship with my husband began the morning after we slept together.

Leading up to this distinction was heavy flirting, lots of one on one time, but also a strong belief that that my husband wouldn't be interested in a nerd like me because I wasn't like the other sexy party girls orbiting him. All the flirting and attention was just his way of interacting with women, and I was no different in that regard.

After we slept together I laid it out for him: I had a mad crush on him for a long time, and while I didn't regret the previous night, I would be terribly hurt if nothing came of it and I was just another notch for him.

He assured me that the sex was dope and that he wanted the real deal with me.

me: "so we're a couple then?" him: "yeah we're a couple" me: "what about all those other girls?" him: "those skanks? whatever i'll just tell them to get lost."

A month later he wifed me up.

I think generally, romantic relationships begin when both parties agree exclusivity.

When does our romantic relationship end? Ideally when we die. Action must be taken continuously through out the life of the relationship (no matter how long) to make sure it stays alive and healthy. For a general take, when either one or both parties agree to end it for whatever reason.

what's the purpose of a romantic relationship to you?

companionship, sex, (and personally) procreation.

Why even get one in the first place?

If you want a steady access to companionship and sex, a romantic relation is an easy path to achieve that. Caveat: you still have to put in the work to make sure the companionship and sex are worth the trade off of monogamy.

DaThrowaway808 · 2017-04-19T18:41:27+00:00

As in, when did the romantic relationship begin? When does it end?

Let me think about the discussion I had with my wife on this. Context was determining anniversary date.

ME: First kiss?

HER: Nope, we didn't even go on a date yet.

ME: First time we (>'.')><('.'<)?

Her: Nope, we can't tell our kids that

Me: How about XXXX cause we went to that place you like?

Her: That sounds good.

Bonus points, what's the purpose of a romantic relationship to you? Why even get one in the first place?

Legacy

And when does it end? What if they stay friends for life? What if only one falls out of love?

Let's use someone I know for an example. They've been having sex on and off with their first boyfriend for over a decade. She never was really able to have a real relationship with anyone else during this time. Is she unattractive? Objectively, no. By most TRP standards she would have no issue finding relationships and she meets enough people that opportunities arise. So what is the problem? In the back of her mind she still held onto him emotionally. She almost believes that he belongs to her. Until she lets go of the notion, I do not theorize she will ever have a successful relationship. I've felt this way for the last decade and she hasn't proven me wrong yet.

It's interesting how a relationship must start with two people coming together, but can continue (in a way) even if one person completely let's go it. This is similar to the concept of Alpha Widow thrown around here.

GridReXX · 2017-04-19T18:44:11+00:00

Ideally begins?

When there are mutual butterflies and mutual time invested in experiencing those 🦋 s.

Ends?

When the butterflies are gone and neither party cares to reignite them; or when the kids (if there any) are out the house.

Realistically relationships tend to linger on borrowed time because people are comfortable. But maybe relationships are about comfort more than lust and love and contentment?

BiggerDthanYou · 2017-04-19T18:44:11+00:00

Well nowadays due to all the casual sex and FWB the lines are rather blurry. People no longer go on dates and then have sex, nowadays they have sex and then go on dates if they want more.

You hook up with someone and it becomes something regularly and then one day you talk about where it is heading and if you are in love.

People wait longer with making it official, but if they do they are already sure that it will have at least a little chance. Casual sex is just a more laid back way of figuring out if you two would make a good couple and by not elevating it early on there's less heartbreak and more sex: win/win for everyone involved.

For example me and my gf had a "are we a couple?" talk one day and then retroactively decided that we have been together for some months already and took the first time I've stayed the whole weekend at her place as the beginning of our relationship.

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wtknight · 2017-04-19T18:22:57+00:00

As in, when did the romantic relationship begin? When does it end?

I consider it beginning when we agree to be exclusive. I'm not sure when non-monogamous partners consider it to have begun. Maybe after they've openly discussed that the relationship will be open?

To me, it ends when there's an agreement that the two of you will see other people. For non-monogamous partners, I have no idea how they determine when it has ended. It would seem to be pretty easy to segue from romantic to FWB and back again if there's already an agreement that the relationship is open.

What's the purpose of a romantic relationship to you?

To me, it's a way to simultaneously express love for another person and to express sexuality, as well as partner to do activities with.

Why even get one in the first place?

Companionship, emotional expression and sexual expression simultaneously. An FWB relationship lacks the second component at the strength level which is essential to me, which I why I don't do FWB. Exclusivity is part of the emotional bond in my mind.

If partners marry, I consider the relationship to have begun when there was the agreement to be exclusive. There was a time when I was courting my wife that I was also talking to other women. I don't consider our relationship to have started until I told those other women that I wanted to be exclusive with my now wife.

And when does it end?

It ends when one partner wants to break the covenant that exists between the two of them, whatever it might be, and the other partner either voluntarily agrees to it, or has no choice but to agree to it, in the case of a divorce (although it's possible for a couple to get a divorce but stay in a relationship, I can see only limited circumstances where this would make sense).

Is sex any sort of marker for the beginning and end of a romantic relationship?

Not at all. Some couples have sex before they start a relationship, some couples have sex after they've started it.

[deleted] · 2017-04-19T18:30:30+00:00

I'd say it starts when there's an explicit agreement to be exclusive. This talk can come about in a number of ways. For me it was meeting my SO's friends and he introduced me as "my girlfriend" and I was like "O RLY?" and in the car on the way home we talked about it and decided we were "official."

Pinning down the exact point when a relationship started can be tricky, though. I think it's different for every couple. But IMO if you think you're "in a relationship" but you haven't actually talked about exclusivity and boundaries, you're kidding yourself.

It ends when one or both people end it, that seems obvious. Or if one of them dies I guess.

Sex doesn't have much to do with it. These days sex often precedes the relationship.

And for me the purpose of a romantic relationship is finding someone to share my life with.

Justapasserby557 · 2017-04-19T19:13:39+00:00

As in, when did the romantic relationship begin? When does it end?

My romantic relationship began with my fiance when he offered me his coat when I was cold. It was during a lunch with mutual friends, when I had dressed prettily for him and forgotten that it was a little chilly outside, something I frequently do. One of his friends was trying to set us up, but didn't know we'd already been talking and hitting it off. She was very surprised by this gesture haha.

Since then, he always offers his coat when he sees me shivering and he's not cold. Ideally our relationship would end when we die, but I think the first sign otherwise would be when we stop enjoying each other's company or start speaking to each other harshly.

Bonus points, what's the purpose of a romantic relationship to you? Why even get one in the first place?

Companionship, exclusive sex and eventually kids. He's my best friend who I also really want to get down with lol.

comfysofachair · 2017-04-19T19:34:01+00:00

Sex begins= start

Sex stops= end

[deleted] · 2017-04-19T19:35:39+00:00

I think it starts when a man throws out a compliance test to search for his dealbreakers ..... and the woman passes. Plus sex.

I think it ends when a woman shit tests too hard and the man fails, or if the man withdraws beta comfort during a comfort test and fails.

alreadyredschool · 2017-04-19T23:16:52+00:00

When her father accepts the partnership
When either of you die

Fast forward some years

Oh boy oh boy eh so much variation but usually after the talk^tm
When one declares that it's over.

reepbot · 2017-04-20T00:26:27+00:00

When you first date it starts.

When you break up it ends.

Anything else is not real.

IIHotelYorba · 2017-04-20T03:23:27+00:00

Personally I think romance is a specific framing of a relationship. Once you start talking/acting in a "dating" way you go romantic. I think about this a lot because ideally I always want to be a "fuckboy," a friend with benefits, a guy who "doesn't count."

It can be hard to distinguish because in many ways in a relationship you act the same as you do with friends.

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-04-20T10:06:42+00:00

I'm not one for "romance", but okay. I'll give this a shot.

A romantic relationship begins when one of the people involved make it known that they care about the other as more than "just friends" and the feeling is mutual. I'd say the recipe is Close Friendship + Sexual Desire. It begins when this is agreed upon. I'd say it ends when either one of these ingredients is gone. For some couples, that may never happen. If the sex is gone, then you either completely break up or become friends again. If the friendship is gone, then you're just fuckbuddies.

despisedlove2 · 2017-04-20T13:49:09+00:00

Why does it matter?

It began when you started seeing her in a light superior to what she deserved.

It ended when she woke you up.

Title	Q4ALL What marks the beginning and end of a romantic relationship?
Author	SetConsumes
Upvotes	4
Comments	42
Date	April 19, 2017 6:06 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/66bxwu/q4all_what_marks_the_beginning_and_end_of_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-what-marks-the-beginning-and-end-of-a.268750 https://theredarchive.com/post/268750

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