I'm lucky to have a lot of very high quality friends... These are people that make everyone around them a better person, lift people up, and are the first to help a friend in need.

A few years ago, one of my male friends stopped me mid-conversation one day and asked me "why do you talk about yourself and other women this way?" when I was saying some clearly pickme-ish things. I was a little taken aback and asked "what do you mean?" He then went on to explain to me that he used to be careless in the language he used and opinions he held about women and womens rights and society's expectations until his now-wife started taking time to educate him why he was wrong and how he could be better. Besides him being right, I appreciated how he really internalized the lessons his wife taught him, and also how he was quick to give her credit for helping him be a better person in this regard.

It made a lot of sense! And ever since that moment I've been careful to not use language that downgraded myself or other women in conversation just because I thought it would be better received by a particular audience. And I also gained a lot of appreciation for my friend being willing to stop me and help correct me the same way his wife did to him.

Edit: my point in sharing this is to remind us to appreciate our true allies. Just because someone is a man doesn’t mean they are automatically against us... it just means that we have to judge each individual in our life based on their actions.