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Q4ALL : What sacrifices do you believe each gender makes for a family that are more common or unique to their gender?

sadomasochrist
January 26, 2017
3 upvotes
/r/PurplePillDebate
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Title Q4ALL : What sacrifices do you believe each gender makes for a family that are more common or unique to their gender?
Author

sadomasochrist
Upvotes 3
Comments 80
Date January 26, 2017 6:06 PM UTC
(9 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5qbpy5/q4all_what_sacrifices_do_you_believe_each_gender/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-what-sacrifices-do-you-believe-each-gender.270397
https://theredarchive.com/post/270397
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Comments

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 9 years ago (54 children) | Copy Link

well, pregnancy's a bitch and for many women it leaves their bodies permanently changed and less attractive.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (47 children) | Copy Link

and for many women it leaves their bodies permanently changed and less attractive.

You mean wider hips and a larger rack? I've seen many women that to me looked HOTTER after they had their first child. To be sure, it can cause a lot of weight issues, but overall, I've never seen a woman that had a child, lost the "baby fat", and looked less attractive to me. If anything, its improved some as I stated above.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (31 children) | Copy Link

really? stretch marks, sagging breasts, extra skin, a permanent "belly bloat," scarring, all of those are permanent or at least long term consequences of pregnancy. it depends on a lot of factors, not the least of which is just good ol' genetics, but yeah I wouldn't consider any of that attractive. I guess it also depends on individual tastes... if you like thicker, curvier women you're in the clear but if you're into svelte bodies she might have a hard time getting back to the shape you like.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

stretch marks, sagging breasts, extra skin, a permanent "belly bloat," scarring, all of those are permanent or at least long term consequences of pregnancy.

Ya know I have two kids of my own, and my wife has two as well, right? You REALLY think you're filling me in on what pregnancy can do to a woman's body? I mean, I'm not a woman so not the best source, but I can tell you both my ex and my current wife have had children, and in both cases having kids made them more curvy, in the legitimate sense (not just fat).

if you like thicker, curvier women you're in the clear

There ya go! Think Sir-Mix-A-Lot style "big butts". I tend to be attracted to women who are legitimately "curvy" and/or "thick".

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

my man.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I want to know where /u/sardonis70 found these more attractive women after pregnancies.

I don't really care about some of these post pregnancy unattractive defects, but seeing your partner quickly becoming less attractive is difficult. I would be happy if she indeed keeps her wider hips and larger breasts, but I know the breasts will get smaller and saggier, and her hips will get back to her original width, while her waist won't, resulting in a no-sexually-appealing waist/hips ratio.

I bet sardonis70 hasn't seen lot of women naked. Saggy breast do look good IN CLOTHES because you can make them have the shape you want, but not naked.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I bet sardonis70 hasn't seen lot of women naked. Saggy breast do look good IN CLOTHES because you can make them have the shape you want, but not naked.

I get that big boobs sag when naked. Comes with the territory. They still look great rolling around on the bed.

Maybe some of you have some seriously unrealistic expectations. Big boobs that defy gravity are fake FYI, and I'd rather be with a small chested girl (and have been) than one with big old saline sacks in her chest.

And I specifically said they had to lose the "baby fat". I stand by my former statement. As a man that likes big butts and "birthing" bodies, I have literally found many woman more attractive post birth, mostly due to the extra curves that often stick around after. Its cool if you aren't on board, leaves more for me. ;-)

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

There are big boobs that are real and that have a decent shape, they're maybe not "big" considering your own standards of "big", they aren't flat. They're usually looking bigger unclothed. The saggy boobs are looking bigger clothed.

There are women that naturally have saggy boobs. Some others acquired those because of pregnancies (apparently the way you start and stop breastfeeding may induce quick inflations which results in this).

I believe it all depends of the skin type. Some women will have a flat belly 2 year after, some other will always have saggy skin no matter how slim they become.

Some women will retrieve their original hips width, some other won't, I've not personally witnessed women that kept those hips. some women will retrieve their torso width, some other won't, I've personally seen more women keeping the torso width than not, and never retrieve their original ratio.

I like big butts too and well shaped breasts. But frankly I've not seen much interesting improvements post pregnancies.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

But frankly I've not seen much interesting improvements post pregnancies.

All I can say is: my ex no doubt got wider hips from childbirth, but she already had a largish rack before. Having a baby balanced her out.

My current wife I've only seen in pictures pre-children. She was MUCH less curvy, and in fact probably had a body type just a bit TOO "fit" for me. Again, she already had a rather large chest (which she said was HELL while she was in track. I can only imagine as a "sports bra" doesn't look like it'll really keep big boobs under control...) but good grief did having her first child help out her ass and hips!

But I'll admit, things like a few random stretch marks and a large chest that kinda "lays sideways" when she's laying down doesn't bother me at all. I don't expect my wife's boobs to point directly at the ceiling while she's laying on her back because there's NO WAY that could happen unless they were fake.

Put another way: I'm perfectly content knowing that my "hot wife in a skin tight dress" is likely to sag a little once the dress comes off. So far it hasn't detracted from the fun we have at that point.

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Mine hasn't even birthed yet she has x5 boob and belly size. Stretch marks everywhere.

I hope the fact of being father will change my biological attractions because else it's probable I'll not find her attractive again and initiate a dead bedroom....

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Mine hasn't even birthed yet she has x5 boob and belly size.

I'm confused, can you rephrase this? Is she currently pregnant? What do you mean by "5x boob and belly size?" 5x what?

[–]Eastuss༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

sorry, she is 8 mpnth prego, her boobs and belly have taken 5 time their soze, boobs will get even bigger after

[–]ThirdEyeSqueegeed-2 points-1 points0 points 9 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

A lot of women ruin their bodies anyway due to overeating, tattoos and piercings.

Women are generally far more shallow and superficial than men. They don't seem to value things like spirit and love and care over sexiness and physical attractiveness. It's very sad.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

my spirit is beautiful, it's just my body that's 300 pounds 💋

[–]ThirdEyeSqueegeed0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

That's not weight gained due to pregnancy, but even so I bet you can find a man who loves you if you have a beautiful soul.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

but what about all the ones who call me a landwhale and bitch about the lack of quality women on dating sites?

[–]ThirdEyeSqueegeed0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Ignore them and stop going on dating sites. Dating sites are superficial to begin with. Your picture is the main focus. Meet people face to face and show off your better qualities then, or get to know them through text rather than pictures.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

yeah but guys get grossed out by me when they meet me.

[–]ThirdEyeSqueegeed1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm not trying to be mean here, but if you're really 300 pounds then you need to lose weight purely for health reasons even before you think about relationships. What men think shouldn't even come into it, you need to love yourself first and foremost and that means loving your body and wanting to be healthy.

[–]questioningwomandetached from society1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Make fun of their tiny penis or something about them. Don't let any insult be used against you without you insulting them back.

[–]HigHog3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Ruin their bodies in your view*

[–]ThirdEyeSqueegeed-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Uh, yeah that's kind of implied by the fact it's me making the comment.

[–]DrunkGirl69Manic Pixie Drunk Girl2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

You think men value physical attractiveness less* than women do? And that men value a woman's spirit over her sexiness?

Edit less not more

[–]ThirdEyeSqueegeed0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

You think men value physical attractiveness less* than women do?

Yes, by far. Women seem to base their whole worth on physical attractiveness. It's their form of power to manipulate men. To me it's just a mask to gloss over the fact that most of them are empty inside and have so very little to offer besides their pussy.

Men are starting to catch up out of necessity to get laid, which is very bad long term for society. When men start becoming like women and value superficial things over depth, it's a sign that we're all fucked.

And that men value a woman's spirit over her sexiness?

It's not exactly what I said. I said that women don't value things like spirit love and care over sexiness. Essentially they've based their worth solely on the whore and not the Madonna. If you're talking about women complaining that having children gives them stretch marks, you're essentially saying that motherhood is less valuable to her than being physically attractive. Again, it's valuing the superficial over something more deep and meaningful.

Men might be more attracted to a woman who hasn't had kids, but most men wouldn't want that superficial woman who cares more about her looks than her kids to be the mother of his children.

[–]DrunkGirl69Manic Pixie Drunk Girl2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Yes, by far. Women seem to base their whole worth on physical attractiveness. It's their form of power to manipulate men.

That wasn't my question. I asked whether men value physical attractiveness of women more than women value physical attractiveness of men.

How would women be able to manipulate that value on it unless men placed value on it, right? Why would they base their worth on that if that wasn't what men wanted and responded to?

You're suggesting that women do something that men don't respond to at all?

When men start becoming like women and value superficial things over depth, it's a sign that we're all fucked.

What? You are twisting this question around once again. I asked about what people value in a partner.

It's not exactly what I said. I said that women don't value things like spirit love and care over sexiness. Essentially they've based their worth solely on the whore and not the Madonna.

Yep we are definitely talking about different things. A woman's value is based on what men assign to it. If you think stretch marks should be considered a sign of value than start hooking up with mommies. Or go to some Buddhist temple and find some hot souls there.

[–]ThirdEyeSqueegeed0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I asked whether men value physical attractiveness of women more than women value physical attractiveness of men.

I honestly don't know. The more I read comments from women, the more I realise that women are equally attracted to looks as men are, they just try to pretend they're not because they don't want to appear superficial, and so they can complain about how men are shallow. If I had to, I'd say it's about equal.

The big difference is women also value money, which men don't.

How would women be able to manipulate that value on it unless men placed value on it, right?

Having a visceral response to something and valuing it are different things. If I pointed a gun at you you'd have a visceral response and I'd be able to manipulate you, doesn't mean you value me or the gun or what I'm doing. If I threw a tarantula in your lap, you'd also have a visceral response. Does that mean you value the tarantula?

Why would they base their worth on that if that wasn't what men wanted and responded to?

This is exactly the point and really does confirm TRP. You don't seem to be able to value yourself and have that be enough. You're reliant on external sources of validation.

If you wanted to have children and be a mother, why would you care what men think of your stretch marks? The first comment on this thread about what sacrifices each gender makes for family was about becoming less physically attractive. It wasn't about losing freedom to pursue dreams and ambitions.

This is the attitude that leads to shit like this and this. I personally think those women are disgusting due to their attitude, not their looks.

You're suggesting that women do something that men don't respond to at all?

Not suggesting anything, just making observations.

A woman's value is based on what men assign to it.

I disagree, but it's interesting that you should think this.

[–]DrunkGirl69Manic Pixie Drunk Girl1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

If I had to, I'd say it's about equal.

But would you ever honestly say that men find something like a person's goodness or spirit sexier than their physical appearance?

The big difference is women also value money, which men don't.

If men don't value money, then why do they end up in the highest paid positions and buy fancy sports cars?

Having a visceral response to something and valuing it are different things. If I pointed a gun at you you'd have a visceral response and I'd be able to manipulate you, doesn't mean you value me or the gun or what I'm doing. If I threw a tarantula in your lap, you'd also have a visceral response. Does that mean you value the tarantula?

Are you saying that you can get over your immediate reaction to a hot woman like someone learns to get over a fear of tarantulas?

This is exactly the point and really does confirm TRP. You don't seem to be able to value yourself and have that be enough. You're reliant on external sources of validation.

If you wanted to have children and be a mother, why would you care what men think of your stretch marks? The first comment on this thread about what sacrifices each gender makes for family was about becoming less physically attractive. It wasn't about losing freedom to pursue dreams and ambitions.

Because if I want a man to like me in the first place, and I want him to like me enough to put babies in me and stick around afterwards, then the fact that men value looks higher than any other trait (see the recent PPD survey) is actually extremely relevant to my goal of becoming a mother. I value myself for completely different reasons, but in order to find a man who will loves me, it's useful to know what they care about in a partner.

Men talk about how one of the sacrifices they make for marriage is the freedom to sleep with other women. Women do the same thing while also greatly sacrificing their ability to do so. That is worth mentioning.

I disagree, but it's interesting that you should think this.

As I said before, I was not talking about her value as a human being, I was talking about sexual value. I can't just decide that I'm a 10 who is deserving of the hottest man's commitment, can I? Well, I can, but it won't get me very far.

[–]ThirdEyeSqueegeed1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

But would you ever honestly say that men find something like a person's goodness or spirit sexier than their physical appearance?

No. I never said that. The point is your spirit is for you. It's you caring more about yourself than what other people think of you. If you need other people to find you sexy then it's not a spiritual thing.

I found this good quote actually:

"- . . . she is more sensate than man; for were she more spiritual she could never have her culmination point in another.  Spirit is the true independent

See, if you're basing your value on what men think of you then you're never going to be independent or living in accordance with your true spirit.

I'm starting to see why women resent men so much now. It's because we don't actually need you. We desire you for love and sex, but we don't actually need you. We can develop a truly individual spirit which most women seem completely incapable of.

If men don't value money, then why do they end up in the highest paid positions and buy fancy sports cars?

They don't value money in a partner, I mean. They earn money because it helps them get laid, but they don't get turned on by a woman's money the way women do with men.

Are you saying that you can get over your immediate reaction to a hot woman like someone learns to get over a fear of tarantulas?

I'm sure you can. Monks would have to do this kind of thing.

Because if I want a man to like me in the first place, and I want him to like me enough to put babies in me and stick around afterwards, then the fact that men value looks higher than any other trait (see the recent PPD survey) is actually extremely relevant to my goal of becoming a mother. I value myself for completely different reasons, but in order to find a man who will loves me, it's useful to know what they care about in a partner.

Hey, I'm not saying be ugly. If you believe that being a mother is a worthy sacrifice of your freedom then fair enough. I personally think most men don't believe that being a father is a worthy sacrifice of their freedom - particularly not in this day and age when fathers are routinely disrespected and ridiculed. It's more of a compromise, at best.

[–]Ascimatorsmirks audibly0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'll bite it and call obvious hypocrisy. You shame women for tattoos and piercing and then call them superficial.

[–]ThirdEyeSqueegeed0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Tattoos and piercings are superficial. I didn't say women ruin their minds by studying philosophy.

[–]darla102 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I've heard other men mention this. Thank God.

[–]Ur_bio_dad2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

But have you seen them naked before and after childbirth? Stuff stretches and sags.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Stretch marks are a fact of life for women having kids. If you don't think you can deal, don't get married and have a family. It isn't her fault, blame nature.

And I hate to tell you, but time makes everything "sag" eventually. I'm 46, even if my wife never had a child, at 38 she would still be showing signs of age. Guess what? So am I.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Can I just tell you how refreshing your comments are? God. Some people here are so unrealistic about the aging process. If you can't be attracted to someone unless they're perfectly tight and immune to the laws of gravity, you're gonna have a really bad time.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I've never been the type of person to look for physical perfection, even though sex is important to me. I don't need "the ideal" to be sexually attracted, and past that threshold other attributes are more important to me.

In practice I see women around that are objectively "hotter" than my wife. But I still think my wife is plenty hot, and every time I look at her butt I remember how much I enjoy... Let's just say our sexual history together adds a bit to her "hotness" level to me. AKA "wife goggles" doing its job. Difference between the wife goggles I wore in my first marriage and the ones I wear now? Self awareness. Which is to say, while I actively promote seeing my wife as "hotter" using the natural system designed for it, I am ALSO aware that to some extent I'm fooling myself. But I want to be happy and content with her, so I just "go with it". The result? I can honestly say to you that in this moment my wife is the hottest woman to me. The caveat being? Because I'm willing to NOT be 100% objective about her appearance in exchange. Sounds complicated, but really it means I make sure I'm still addicted to my wife's booty because I like the results.

And I really do mean it. Some days it's damn difficult to keep my hands off of her. I don't care if she's the hottest woman in my view at any given moment, because she remains hottest to me overall regardless. I just have to make sure I don't allow myself to get so "taken" with her that I pull out a pedestal for her to climb onto. :-p

[–]Ur_bio_dad0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't get the point of this? It's still a change for the less attractive- which in the post I replied to you said didn't occur at all. I never said anyone to blame it's simply a fact.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The point is to me, wider hips and a bigger rack far offsets a few stretch marks. And saggy boobs are still fun to play with. And if you as a man can't imagine staying attracted to a woman that ages or gets stretch marks from giving birth, maybe the family/monogamy thing isn't for you.

[–]Ur_bio_dad0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough. To each his own.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

He has kids, so I'm guessing he knows what he's talking about.

[–]Ur_bio_dad0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I believe that he believes that. But I think the vast majority of men would prefer the body of a woman who hadn't had kids- all things considered.

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Tits look like golf balls in socks after you wean that baby.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

he's talking about wife goggles. guys chemistry changes like that. Tribes that had that would survive, the ones who didn't have it would leave them, and the kids would die off...

We are hard wired to picture you as a tight 23 year old, unless given a substantial reason to not see you that way

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Yep! and here's the thing: Wife GogglesTM aren't necessarily a "bad" thing, provided a man doesn't let it become full on pedestal hoisting levels. Its OK to let your body 'trick' you into thinking she's more attractive than she actually is IF your goal is to stay happily with her monogamously.

I realize my wife is NOT objectively as hot as I see her, and I'm perfectly good with it. In fact? If I wanted to be mercenary about it, that's a very good thing for me, because that means she's LESS likely to get poached. Unfortunately, I've seen first hand that she generates male "attention" just by being nearby, so although I may think she's "hotter" than she is? She's still plenty hot enough to get randoms trying for a shot.

I honestly think just being aware that Wife Goggles exists is enough for most men to keep it in check.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Shorthand: Being misogynist

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Shorthand: Being misogynist

Yet it works so well!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Wife goggles. Guys have a built in mechanism to protect you from it. you only have to repair them occasionally by not being a cunt, or engage Jabba-mode.

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

So how does that explain all the women who are nice, put out, do what he wants and he still buggers off with his receptionist when that mid life crisis hits?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Mid life crisis are w myth.

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midlife_crisis

[–]HelperBot_0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Non-Mobile link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midlife_crisis

HelperBot v1.1 /r/HelperBot_ I am a bot. Please message /u/swim1929 with any feedback and/or hate. Counter: 24315

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

https://therationalmale.com/2012/11/19/mid-life-crisis/

Guys don't have a mid life crisis, they stop acting like a plow horse when they are in their prime, and start living like they wanted to

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

Men:

Expected to use brute physical strength for any family needs requiring that strength, risking life, limb, physical injury, and physical and mental health

Expected to use brute physical strength and physical force to defend the family, at risk of criminal prosecution, physical injury, or death

Work harder, for longer periods of time, under poorer conditions, and to do more and differing kinds of work, to earn money, on pain of life, limb, physical and mental health, and stress levels

Devote more time to work which takes the man away from the family for prolonged time periods

Expected to learn home improvement, doing heavy house maintenance and repair of fixtures, electrical/mechanical/plumbing items

Take on most of the responsibility and accountability for the family's overall success or failure

If the family is ended in divorce, the man will have to finance what are now two families. He will damage or lose his relationships with his children and most of his extended family, and undergo sexual deprivation

Women:

Ruining their bodies with childbearing and childbirth, at risk of death, injury or later infertility.

The time and physical/hormonal inconvenience and stress of pregnancy

Stressing their bodies with breastfeeding

Sleep deprivation and overall physical health risks and stresses with hands-on childcare especially with infants and toddlers

Taking on paid work to supplement family income or even become primary breadwinner

Doing majority of housework

Doing majority of hands on child rearing - education, training, discipline

Under much more pressure to maintain their physical appearances and physical attractiveness than men

[–]Boobear31 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

If a guy wants a 25 year old when he's over 40 (like many red pillers seem to want), then it's pretty important that he maintains his physical appearance and doesn't age terribly. The uglier and older a man looks when he's trying to hit on young women, the worse he will do. Being rich and looking old and fat as shit isn't a good look.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. But you're overestimating how often 40 year old men actually hit on 25 year old women. Most men over 40 aren't going to be dating 25 year olds. Most divorced 40-somethings are lucky to get one or two dates from 38 year old sexually frustrated career women.

Heh. I'm 48 years old. If I were single I'd be focusing on 30-40 year old women. Where I live there are a lot of women in that age range who are plenty attractive. They're divorced and probably have kids, but they know what they want, have experience, and are assertive and aggressive enough.

This idea you have that 40 year old men are out there hitting on young women is a TRP thing that's not mainstream and doesn't happen much.

[–]Boobear31 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm curious...Are you sure you're not just looking at women within a few yrs of your age.. who look younger than they are? A young looking 45 year old could pass for 40 or even 38. I've noticed men are pretty terrible at judging age. I'm nearing 30 and most men, or just generally most people I meet think I'm 20-22. Guys almost 10 years younger than me think I'm their age and will talk to me, then I tell them my age and they're like what? I thought you were my age.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

A young looking 45 year old could pass for 40 or even 38.

Yes. But there aren't very many of those where I'm from.

[–]Boobear35 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So you know literally every woman's age that you pass? How?

[–]EchoZeroElevenPursuing Answers to Unknown Questions2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Besides biological differences (women give birth, men have more physical strength),

I expect a marriage to be a team, and the work to be distributed evenly except under difficult circumstances. Like project management.

But I've never been married, so there's a good chance I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

[–]Justapasserby5572 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree with you. Boyfriend and I are looking to get married once we can afford a house, and this pretty much describes our relationship now. Our friends and family have told us they think our relationship is the best example of what they'd want when they find someone, and the reason it works so well is because we're both willing to work hard in our careers and sacrifice to build our future together.

[–]EchoZeroElevenPursuing Answers to Unknown Questions1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds reasonable.

[–]despisedlove2Reality Pill Tradcon RP0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't.

[–]Aaren_AugustineWants a Cookie0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

But I've never been married

Married nearly a decade. Not once has this actually worked. Really. It's why I eventually went to MRP. NONE of it worked.

Those "besides biological differences". Yeah, no besides. None. You have to work within that biological reality. Saying you'd like to work as a team and distribute it evenly just sounds good on paper. So destructive.

[–]EchoZeroElevenPursuing Answers to Unknown Questions1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

>Saying you'd like to work as a team and distribute it evenly just sounds good on paper. So destructive.

That's why I believe in Murphy's Law with a passion.

Getting into a relationship, be it man or woman, is like adopting a puppy. You love them, but you know they're going to shit on the carpet - it's coming.

Sorry you're in that situation.

[–]Aaren_AugustineWants a Cookie0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm not anymore. Only thing that did measurable good for everyone was marriedredpill.

[–]EchoZeroElevenPursuing Answers to Unknown Questions0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I love a happy ending.

[–]HigHog1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Funny, it's working in my marriage.

[–]Justapasserby5571 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Curious, how long did you date before getting married? My boyfriend and I divide everything pretty much equally, and we're still pretty happy after 5 years.

However, we see a lot of unhappy relationships in our peers because they usually get married 1-2 years into the relationship. So they have to slam learning how to live together and financially work things out all at once, and most of them end up hugely resenting each other. Not to mention they usually wait until after they're married to figure out they have almost zero common interests besides any kids they end up having.

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Works for me, and I've been married twice as long as you.

[–]darla100 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep. I agree.

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[–]despisedlove2Reality Pill Tradcon RP0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

There is no one answer possible as each marriage has differing details but there are some overarching principles:

  1. Men sacrifice for their wife and children. Women sacrifice for their children.

  2. Men tend to sacrifice resources (the provider function), care, time, energy, legally, etc. This is a lifelong sacrifice.

  3. Women tend to sacrifice time, and care, and by consequence of biology, their careers. This is also a lifelong sacrifice, though it tends to taper off as children grow past their infancy.

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

You don't consider a woman who takes time off work to care for a man's children to be sacrificing her earning and career advancement potential so that he can maintain his?

[–]despisedlove2Reality Pill Tradcon RP1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

She is doing that for her kids, and herself. If she forced him to stay home, chances are that the family would take a bigger financial hit.

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I thought you kids didn't believe in the wage gap...

[–]despisedlove2Reality Pill Tradcon RP0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Wage gap exists in families. In most families, the man has to make significantly more, or suffer from hypergamy. Easy to do since most women take majors like art history, women's studies etc.

The wage gap you are trying to conflate it with is the one within professions. That has been pegged at around 96c to a dollar.

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Wage gaps exist within families because the mother is expected to take time out to raise children and support her husband's rise up the career ladder.

[–]despisedlove2Reality Pill Tradcon RP0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. That also keeps her natural hypergamy in check most of the time.

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Hypergamy, as you lot see it, doesn't exist. If you're a cunt to her, she'll leave you for a dustman just as readily as for a banker.

[–]despisedlove2Reality Pill Tradcon RP0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Sure, whatever makes you feel better about hypergamy.

[–]wombatinaburrowfeminist marsupial0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You mean truth and honesty? Yeah; that tends to work for me.

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