Q4All: Do you think more men are satisfied with their dating and sex lives, their relationships or relationship prospects? Do you think more men are not?

goatismycopilot · 2017-01-04T15:43:13+00:00

Most men are not satisfied with their dating and sex lives. Most men do not get the quantity or quality of sex they want.

Most men are not satisfied with their existing relationships, from what I can see. Single men want to be in relationships with decent women, and can't get those relationships or dates because they aren't attractive enough. Lots of single men also want casual sex, and can't get it because they're not attractive enough.

It is primarily a problem of lack of attractiveness. Most men are not sexually attractive. Most men do not inspire tingles.

There's a sizable number of men who aren't really all that happy in their marriages, because it's all burden and obligation and very little benefit. The one benefit a man is supposed to get from marriage is a regular sex partner, regular sex at reasonable intervals, with a minimum of effort. And there are a lot, a LOT, of men who don't get even that - they have to settle for once a month or once every other month starfish missionary "let's get this over with" sex.

prlmoon · 2017-01-04T16:47:01+00:00

Speaking from my personal experience, most of the men around me are overall satisfied. For those who are single, they may want a girlfriend or more casual relationships but have a good grasp that these things take effort that they're not willing to expend. For those who are in relationships, they are pretty satisfied.

I think outside of these sites that we all frequent, most people are pretty happy.

I will say though, being stuck in the hook up scene loop seems to make people pretty unhappy, and I really don't know why most people subject themselves to it.

lollygagyo · 2017-01-04T15:54:55+00:00

I think most men are pleased with their sex and dating lives, yes.

But I think most men on reddit are not pleased with their sex or dating lives.

NalkaNalka · 2017-01-04T15:37:27+00:00

I think most men are not satisfied with their position in the SMP but they cant be arsed to do anything meaningful to change that.

It's the same for money. Most people would like more and think they don't have enough but they can't be arsed to do what it takes to make more.

I would say perhaps 20-30% of men are completely satisfied with what they have. Just pulling that number out of my ass based on people I know.

buartha · 2017-01-04T16:48:57+00:00

I think most people, male and female, when you take an average of their lives will work out as neutral to a lowish level of contentment overall. Most guys don't hit their ideal (i.e. not stopping for anything other than food, sleep and refractory period) but they get enough for it not to have a knock on negative effect on their lives.

That said, I do think that there's probably a disproportionate amount of guys in the age group that reddit appeals to that are unhappy with it; after all, in your early to late twenties your sex drive is irritatingly high but you may be too busy trying start a career and/ or make a name for yourself to make time to seek out partners, so if you're not lucky enough to fall into a relationship or have one already I can see why you'd end up being frustrated.

wattwatty · 2017-01-04T17:52:40+00:00

I don't think most men are satisfied at all with their sex lives. I admit that I know (well) far fewer single men than I did when I was younger, but I'm confident that >70% of the men I know well enough to establish their level of satisfaction are distinctly unsatisfied.

Moreover, I think civilization would come to a screeching halt if a vast majority of men were satisfied in this sense. What would be the purpose of life then?

wtknight · 2017-01-04T16:23:49+00:00

I think most men are pleased and are either in a committed relationship or into casual sex or FWB type situations. There are a significant portion of men who are either incels, taking a break from relationships, or who are perfectly capable of finding sex but who want more sex and with better looking people than who they are currently capable of finding, but I think these men are in the minority.

NotACreepyWeirdo · 2017-01-04T15:39:12+00:00

You mean, compared to women? Compared to some point in the past? Or what?

Christian_Kong · 2017-01-04T16:14:05+00:00

I think most are satisfied in a "well, this is the best I can do" way. Many do not put in the effort or lack traits that they cannot change and yield poor results, but are so happy to have any female affection that they hang on to it.

BPremium · 2017-01-04T18:44:20+00:00

Most men arent satisfied with their dating lives or prospects, but since women are so ridiculously picky, they have no choice but to take what they can get. But they arent happy

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goatismycopilot · 2017-01-04T15:47:30+00:00

I am not sure, probably not. I think there are many men who are annoyed they are not getting casual sex. I also think a lot of men and women stay in Ltrs and marriages where they are not happy but they are more fearful of being alone so they stay and stew in their misery. I also think there are some men and women who want relationships but just flunk out at them and get mad and globally blame women as being bitches or men as bein assholes.

[deleted] · 2017-01-04T18:13:28+00:00

From personal experience I would say it's 50/50. Very few people are happy ALL the time. I think some men have much better luck over the long run then others.

ppdthrowawai · 2017-01-04T18:52:54+00:00

It would be really hard to put a number on it, but I think that there are a lot more unhappy people in relationships than people pretend there is.

It's like when you're a kid and all your aunts and uncles seem so cool and happy when you see them at Thanksgiving only to grow up and find out who cheated on who, who is completely fucked up in the head, who has crippling depression, and who is just that weird fuck that nobody can stand.

You mostly only see other people's relationships at their best. Not everyone's shittyness is obvious from an outsiders perspective.

[deleted] · 2017-01-04T21:36:36+00:00

The problem here is you have to differentiate between relative satisfaction and absolute satisfaction. It's very easy to be relatively satisfied.

For example, a lot of guys, primarily nerdy one's, are satisfied just helping a hot girl with their homework or sitting next to them in class (college). They don't know the full extent of what they could have, so they are relatively satisfied.

the_calibre_cat · 2017-01-05T03:04:44+00:00

I have no idea. If I were to guess, I would say most men are not satisfied, to be honest. I know two friends of mine who are right around the same age, who make more money than I do, who are not hopeless (well, one of them is, I don't even know how to approach him about it despite my desperate desire to give him advice) with women, but are... bad with them.

I'm not satisfied with my sex life either, despite the fact that I can actually talk to women literally one million times better than either of those two - I still get rejection fears, I still worry about "how do I break this wall and talk to that girl without her thinking I'm a creep," etc. I don't get laid on the reg, but I don't do badly. I am shamelessly a slut. It's my biological imperative, and it makes me feel awesome, so put away your judgy eyebrows, PPD.

So I dunno. Honestly I suspect more women than men are satisfied with their relationships, but both sides are probably more dissatisfied than satisfied, and that's probably built-in and a not-insignificant component behind why we (or at least, the successful among us) consistently strive to improve. It's probably why we've built a global civilization and traveled to the moon, so it's a good thing, in theory. At the same time, damn, reality. Rude.

[deleted] · 2017-01-05T04:47:21+00:00

The best way to satisfaction is religion and moral code. Anyone who lacks this is angry inside even if they hide it and pretend that Star Wars and secular humanism scratch that itch for them.

ifelsedowhile · 2017-01-05T06:09:23+00:00

no, they're not satisfied because they're showed an ideal life of sexual variety that they can't live because of the nature of women's sexuality being highly selective and exclusionary of the majority of males.

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