Non-Americans: from what you've gathered, how is dating, marriage and divorce different in your country, compared to America?

bootsandtoots · 2016-08-13T19:51:03+00:00

China. The divorce rate here is low but much more people would get divorced if they could. Especially those who live in small cities and countryside. Its hard to get a divorce and its very frowned upon/fucks up your kid's chances at dating and sometimes will cause trouble for them. People kind of fawn over how low the divorce rate is here but thats because its a low trust society. You cant trust anyone outside of your family (no one really gives a fuck about anyone besides their family and close friends and will fuck anyone else over) so weddings are a really big deal here (a family allowing other members in the family). Cheating is really common here and its kind of apparent that many couples just live together but heat each other. This is also much more common in the older generation.

Dating now is a bit better. Women (particularly educated ones) certainly prefer older dude (3-5 years older) who has his shit together and can take care of them. No one talks much about sex and that outside of friend circles but people have lots of sex in high school and college (and always have). Not as blatantly as in America but fuckbuddies are becoming more common. There isnt so much courtship to become partners as there is in America. if a guy and girl hang out a couple times it is basically assumed they are boyfriend and girlfriend. Also guys and girls don't really hang out that much in general. If a girl had a close guy friend or vice versa it would be strange. In small shit village my family is from, many of the girls already have their first kid at 16-17.

cateml · 2016-08-13T19:25:52+00:00

Based on PPD and AskMen, the US dating scene seems like a whole different planet to what I know in the UK.

I've never been expected to pay for an entire date.
Most women don't give a shit what your job is, I even got positive female attention even working behind the tills at a supermarket.
Getting laid at clubs is easy if you're <30.
Getting laid at university is so easy it is basically zero effort.
I have had women hit on me multiple times.
There is no discussion about "becoming exclusive."

Marriage has fewer benefits in the UK compared to the US, e.g. you do not need to get married for your partner to visit you in hospital or whatever.

Divorce in the UK is biased in favour of women if children are involved and the mother almost always gets custody so that sounds about the same as the US from what I've read.

Basically it seems to me we have a better dating scene but marriage is just as much of a shitty deal. Luckily marriage is dying out anyway. Marriage rates have been dropping for decades.

shoup88 · 2016-08-13T19:44:04+00:00

"Divorce rape" seems like a real concern for a lot of American men on here, but in Canada I think it's much rarer for substantial spousal support to be awarded, and the payments don't last for years and years.

Like prodigy2throw said, fraternity or sorority life isn't really a thing. I don't get the impression that our campuses are as isolated from the rest of the community as they are in the states.

The conversation surrounding verbal consent largely remains theoretical or based in education. I don't think we'll this language passed into law anytime soon.

You get the impression on PPD that men are the providers and women don't work. Personally, I think I only know like three SAHMs (not counting mat leave). Most people I know work full time.

And of course the general political environments are very different from each other, which will have an effect on a society and their values.

tiposk · 2016-08-13T23:27:21+00:00

I spent too many years living in the Dominican Republic so it's the only country which dating scene I'm familiar with. Divorce rates were 41% as for 2010. Considering that the country is a traditionalist one and religion is a big thing in many person's upbringing, I'm sure that it would be even higher if women were less dependent on men.

Men are considered to be the providers and to be the ones paying for things like women's hair, clothes and telephone bill. Women are more likely to do the chores and is quite common that a woman goes to clean to her boyfriend's house if he lives alone.

Grown up men and women are dependent from their parents until they get married and many times, remain with their parents even after the wedding.

There are lots of rules specially for women to not have sex before a few months after dating. Nobody respects the rules but everyone shames the women that not respect them, even women themselves. There are generally a lot of distrust from man against women and vice-verse.

Of course, it's not like that everywhere but this is all too common in many social circles.

DaphneDK · 2016-08-14T04:37:38+00:00

Denmark.

Divorce rape doesn't really exists. Alimony is capped, limited and rare. Child support is capped. None of this nonsense "lifestyle accustomed to". You can't fuck yourself to an affluent lifestyle for life.
Women put less emphasis on money, but perhaps more on education. So still hypergamous, just for education.
There are less fat people. People are probably more attractive overall. Also less racial diversity.
The college campus culture doesn't exists. People mostly live in their own small flats while at university. Or share 2-3 people.
I don't know how much the hook-up culture really exists in the USA, but it's certainly vastly less common here than what is reported on reddit as being in the USA.

[deleted] · 2016-08-13T21:39:10+00:00

Ok, divorce rates seem to be lower in Greece, from what I read it was 26% five-six years ago and now it's 37% (probably because of the crisis? I don't know. After the crisis got serious married people stopped paying lower taxes, so I imagine people who stayed together for the economic benefits of marriage got divorced)

I think Greek men are more "masculine" in terms of assertiveness and bravery but at the same time more irresponsible than men from other countries and I think Greek women are very hot-tempered. I think there's not as much promiscuity especially in younger ages, mainly because a lot of people are traditionalist-minded and because religion is a big thing here. I swear in high school I was the only non-virgin. (I grew up in a more traditionalist town, but still)

ifelsedowhile · 2016-08-13T23:16:34+00:00

italian here: we don't have the same degree of hookup and cold approach culture even though I still think that's pretty much everywhere more of a Chad thing rather than for run of the mill guys. Divorce laws are slightly more favorable to men so the likelihood of being divorce raped is less common expecially when you have a decent laywer. we also have default shared parenting even though custody is normally awarded to mothers (something like 80% of the times).

KrispyMcSockington · 2016-08-14T00:22:01+00:00

I am from South Africa. Divorce is pretty bad but so is crime and corruption. I lived in a suburb with the highest divorce rate in the country, so there were quite a few single 30 to 40 somethings looking to get laid at the weekend. I have seen stats that like 60% of marriages end in divorce in SA and the bulk are initiated by women:

http://www.destinyman.com/2016/02/10/divorce-rates-up-marriages-down-statssa/

SA is a strange animal. It has a great constitution yet society is still playing catch up. It seems like a mix between Western and non Western ideologies. So some of the complaints Americans have do resonate but it is not as bad as the US. Not yet. It is getting there. Lots of kids born in single parent homes, lots of crime and social instability.

FairlyNaive · 2016-08-14T11:29:19+00:00

Russia.

Dating
Bux side of dating seems much more pronounced: if you say half a word about splitting a bill on the first date there is a very decent chance it would be a last one. There is no lack of casual sex, but it seems less "institutionalized"?, fraternities are not really a thing, tinder is way less popular.

Marriage
People tend to marry and have children younger and more often. People who dont want to marry or have children at all are extremly rare. Wedding ceremony is huge fetish for women, they are often ridiculously expesive and cause newborn families to fall into debt. Grandparents are heavily involved in the process of raising children and the connection between generations is overall stronger.
Men are expected to provide, but women dont have this disgust towards chores and often even find pride in caring about their man; its not rare for a girl to come to her bf's work and bring him some food. Career women are often this way out of necessity and would prefer to have more children/spend more time with the existing ones instead. They also have very little tolerance for their less ambitious husbands and end up divorcing or just living completely separate lives.

Divorce
Divorce rate is through the roof. Divorce law is rather fair, but due to the fact that child support is poorly enforced many women have to raise kids basically on their own.

Gender ratio
Dating for younger guys is obviously tougher, but time takes a huge tall on male population: many men become hopeless alcoholics/drug addicts, downshift to a low pay/effort job and spend all their free time playing world of tanks, simply die. The funny habit of our economy to attempt surpise buttsex with us every few years also contributes to it, as women seem surprisingly more resilient to economic crisis then men. All this results in the fact that at 35 men who managed to not fuck up their life in a major way and are willing to date within their age range are outnumbered by women in the marketplace 3-to-1.

prodigy2throw · 2016-08-13T18:21:25+00:00

Canadian here. Exactly the same. Difference is the whole frat scene hasn't quite made it here yet. They just started to grow in the last 2 years

play_time_is_over · 2016-08-14T04:50:27+00:00

Australia:

We're like the USA x10.

Girls are way sluttier and easier to get in bed. Women hit the wall later (kids at 35).

Lots of dysfunctional marriages - however divorce rape is rare because women are all about earning their own money.

prostate-apostate · 2016-08-14T12:51:27+00:00

Spain here. Although I am not native, I've been here for a while. Here are the main differences.

Divorce is pretty common but alimony and child support is much rarer.
Dating is much easier, Everyone I know can get laid, even ugly men and really shy guys too
very often if you go to a bar or club, you might find women who just want an immediate sexual experience and will even overlook if you are nervous or ugly
women often don't really care about how much money you make
both men and women are very open about their sex lives. I remember being at a single girl birthday and many of her presents were vibrators
people in general are very comfortable with nudity. Women are often topless at the beach.
however there is a noticeable minority of very Catholic people who don't want any sex outside of marriage

In terms of dating, Spain is great. There are however many drawbacks in other areas

GoingSolow · 2016-08-13T18:45:39+00:00

UK. Pretty much the same, except lower class girls (chavs) are sluttier.

To add: Univeristy is pretty much the same, except we trend more towards freletionships. It's more likely you know someone before you fuck them then just meeting a rando at a club; although one night stands do happen, most of the fucking happens within friendship groups.

Girls you can pull at clubs (bars aren't really a thing here, well at least not for uni kids) are normally <7. The pretty girls and hotties are very prudish, and friend cockblocking is rampant.

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DopeBergoglio · 2016-08-14T07:38:38+00:00

I'm from Italy and here average people don't marry before their 30s. People form Southern Italy and lower class do. I'm always shocked by Americans marrying in their early 20s. Anyway it seems that marriage and birth rates are plummeting.

Title	Non-Americans: from what you've gathered, how is dating, marriage and divorce different in your country, compared to America?
Author	botchedrobbery
Upvotes	10
Comments	45
Date	August 13, 2016 5:56 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4xk676/nonamericans_from_what_youve_gathered_how_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/non-americans-from-what-youve-gathered-how-is.273591 https://theredarchive.com/post/273591

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