Are "attractive" women extremely unlikely to approach a man, but if they did what men would they be targeting?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-05-30T17:12:48+00:00

In an ideal world she might decide she doesn't like the guys she's dating and decide to ask a man out

for whom would this be an ideal world? low value men?

[deleted] · 2016-05-30T18:10:31+00:00

But would it be the strong buff type who's outspoken or the normal quiet introvert. Something tells me its DEFINITELY not the latter. What do you think?

You do realize there are a world of traits between "buff" and "introverted" and the two aren't mutually exclusive, right? For me it all comes down to charisma. I've crushed on dudes who I wouldn't otherwise have found attractive just because they had that social X-factor... razor sharp wit and an ability to disarm people. I also know a few dudes who suck the air out of the room with their awkwardness but are in really good shape... I suspect it's an attempt to compensate.

So if I were to ask someone out (and I'm totally a supermodel 10/10 on the internet) it would be someone I'd already gotten to know, not a good looking stranger in the street. Introversion and extroversion also don't matter too much... some of the most charismatic people I've known have preferred to hang out alone and weren't super outgoing, oddly enough. I'm also an introvert myself so I think dating an extrovert would be exhausting.

[deleted] · 2016-05-30T17:32:33+00:00

Women would approach the men they are attracted to, which are more often extroverts, but that's just because extroverts are usually better at socializing. An introvert who's charming and fun to be around can easily be attractive as well.

HigHog · 2016-05-30T17:27:53+00:00

I made the first move on my husband, because I knew he wouldn't. He's definitely the "normal quiet introvert".

Obviously my experience may not reflect that of women at large, but saying attractive women DEFINITELY wouldn't approach the normal quiet introvert just isn't true.

Edit: I do also have a few attractive female friends who have made the first move on guys that are not "the strong buff type".

joseremarque · 2016-05-30T18:41:46+00:00

Women are attracted to all sorts of men, because they are human, and individual.

There is no way to actually answer this question.

I've been coming to understand from reading forums, articles online and real life experiences

I seriously doubt the latter. And I'm guessing way too much emphasis on the former.

sublimemongrel · 2016-05-30T17:22:43+00:00

They would probably be approaching men they are attracted too. I mean that seems like the most logical answer.

That being said if you never make yourself noticeable than yeah it's unlikely she's going to notice you and determine whether you're attractive in the first place. Since extroverts put themselves in more social situations than they are probably going to get noticed more. This isn't always a "which are more attractive to women" issues it's a "which are going to be noticed by more women" issue. Social people, by definition, are going to get more chances to meet women than the dude sitting in his room or eating lunch alone with his headphones on.

You gotta put yourself out there at least a little bit to get noticed by lots of people.

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ProbablyBelievesIt · 2016-05-30T17:07:12+00:00

It depends on what she's looking for.

The conventionally attractive women who approached me were more attracted to sort of quiet introverts, who could actually hold their own weight in a decent conversation with them about their interests. (Simply liking all the same things isn't a decent conversation.)

Including sex, which for them was more about the psychology of the act, rather than just the sex itself.

The attraction wasn't immediate on either of our parts, and they were surrounded by dudes (and some women) who would have happily been the right one, but who disqualified themselves by pushing for too much - or too little, depending on your point of view - too soon.

If I hadn't responded honestly to the teasing...

Or if I'd mistaken it for bullying?

It's okay to be introverted, but not too introverted.

You need to be able to give someone a sign that you're actually into them.

InBaggingArea · 2016-05-30T18:17:56+00:00

Women have ways of bringing themselves to the attention of men they are interested in when they want to.

Attractive wome will persue attractive men. Less attractive women will persue them too, but with less success, and may then settle for the lass attractive men.

Women may not approach in the way men do. They don't have to. It's not expected of them. But nor do they sit around waiting to be asked. Dress, happenstance, and a chance meeting can all be contrived to elicit the requisite approach from the men. Women may not be active in the way men are, but they are not passive either. They are at the other end of the activity from the men, but they do not lack agency.

SpaceWhiskey · 2016-05-30T18:51:05+00:00

I've made moves on men plenty of times. It's intoxicating honestly, when you can tell that someone is not just into you but intimidated by you. I'm actually very attracted to shy dudes for that reason. And those sorts of guys are almost always complete freaks in bed.

Women approach guys all the time in my circles. I have a very active social life and surround myself with likeminded people. Those women are out there.

shoup88 · 2016-05-30T17:33:55+00:00

That would depend on the individual woman, who she's dated in the past, why she's taking initiative, and who she's attracted to.

I would think if she's gorgeous, the outspoken hunks are already approaching her. It seems more likely to me that she's be going for the quiet guy because he's less likely to initiate.

CovenantoftheSun · 2016-05-30T20:01:31+00:00

Its not always strong, buff, and outspoken it could be strong and silent it could be normal physique but outspoken and don't forget artists who learn four chords and are assaulted by whores.

Girls approach guys they're attracted to. Different gals have different preferences in different moments. Strength and confidence are fairly universal foundations, but those manifest in a myriad of ways and flavors.

I've seen normal shy guys get approached and hot girls fuckin ecstatic to have them at ages like 18, 19 etc. Real life experiences. I seen charmin outgoing guys with no muscles and no money absolutely drowning in casual sex with hot babes one after the other or at the same time. Pertaining to this thread, many that approach him I see it happen.

If you're strong and outspoken yeah you're gonna have an easier time than normal and quiet, that's because you up your odds of getting noticed, increased number of single chances to get selected.

Entropy-7 · 2016-05-30T23:46:08+00:00

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Title	Are "attractive" women extremely unlikely to approach a man, but if they did what men would they be targeting?
Author	fleetinghorizons
Upvotes	2
Comments	49
Date	May 30, 2016 4:56 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4lqfy5/are_attractive_women_extremely_unlikely_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-attractive-women-extremely-unlikely-to.274499 https://theredarchive.com/post/274499

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