CMV: People who equate "alpha" with selfish are kidding themselves

Entropy-7 · 2016-04-28T00:46:51+00:00

Assertiveness and dominance are alpha qualities. "Selfish" is a simplistic formulation of this because it is easier to understand, easier to practice, and more often then not gets the same result for guys who are trying to act alpha.

The flip side is that generosity and kindness can be:

Interpreted by many women as beta behavior and seen as a weakness in a man, and
Exploited by women if you if a guy lets them get away with it.

Men who constantly try to please their women are the "nice guys" who get dumped if they never put their foot down about pleasing themselves.

Showering gifts on women makes you look like a soft touch and - especially those you just met - will work it to extract drinks, dinners, and even vacations from you while offering little or nothing in return.

Lastly, conforming to social expectations because "that's what a man is supposed to do" is beta. The alpha male will know what they want, go out and get it, and "social expectations" be damned, which can come across as selfish but again it is just being assertive and dominant.

sublimemongrel · 2016-04-28T00:29:22+00:00

You are making the classic mistake of rationalizing alpha as what you personally think is morally righteous .

[deleted] · 2016-04-28T05:10:19+00:00

On the other hand a lot of "natural leader" types can be quite caring,loyal people.

The key difference here is how does the caring actions effect people's perceptions of the man in question.

If the caring actions are viewed as heroic, vital, and emphasize the man's strength or abilities, than they are alpha. Examples would be me punching a hobo that was scaring a girl, or lifting a short girl up so she can get something from a top shelf, or getting an old lady's dog that ran off the leash.

AutoModerator · 2016-04-27T23:59:47+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair, just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

stats135 · 2016-04-28T07:51:00+00:00

What you are doing is the common BP mistake of completely ignoring the intermediate links in cause and effect. Selfishness doesn't equate to alpha, but it is something that most people have to be to become alpha.

Here's an example. Studying leads to good grades which leads to admission to a good college and in turn creates a stronger resume that will get you a better job and by extension more money. This is a very good statement (though possibly less correct for current generations than past generations). Studying obviously does not equate to making you more money. However, only a select few can confidently expect to make bank if they don't study in their education.

We can do the same thing with selfishness. Being selfish means wasting less time, money and energy on others. Which means more resources to make yourself fitter, richer, and in general improve yourself. This fitness, wealth, and general improvement is make you more "alpha."

Of course, women and BP will ask "why can't you be all that AND not selfish?" not realizing that only the top percent of men can actually achieve that. Your average Joe with the national median of 50K household income? Where work+commute=more than half his waking hours? Living in the cheaper suburbs far from anywhere people want to go? If he doesn't act selfish, he isn't going to have the resources to make himself alpha.

Dietyz · 2016-04-28T13:34:42+00:00

Alpha males are often more merciful than caring, this is a important distinction

Also sometimes you are selfish in a caring way, like supporting people who you care about who effect your life. If you do something nice for your SO its kind of an investment or beneficial in some way for you, you can not consider it altruistic or anything like that

I would say equating selfishness to alpha males is simplified but still far closer than any other generalization you could make

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxiKqA-u8y4

kick6 · 2016-04-28T15:08:01+00:00

You're right and you're wrong at the same time. Alpha isn't selfish, this you're right about. Selfishness is human nature. Everyone is selfish.

648262 · 2016-04-28T16:30:40+00:00

Every action is a selfish action. This has nothing to do with being alpha or not.

You are nice to others because it feels good to do so.

The best actions are the ones where I get something out of it, and you get something out of it. It is still a selfish action, but no one loses, so no one cares if it is selfish.

The problem is therefore not when someone is selfish. The problem is when your own actions affect other people in a negative way.

So saying all alphas are selfish is not wrong. But all betas are selfish as well, so it doesn't really make sense to discuss these concepts together.

[deleted] · 2016-04-28T17:59:02+00:00

The men I know who are the least successful with women are at the nexus of physically unattractive and empathy-deficient. Betas are guys who are willing to settle for a suitable woman and provide for her emotionally. The aspiring alphas on here are neither alphas or betas, they are low-value men who demand admiration they do not deserve and women they cannot attract.

Title	CMV: People who equate "alpha" with selfish are kidding themselves
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	44
Date	April 27, 2016 11:59 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4grdb7/cmv_people_who_equate_alpha_with_selfish_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-people-who-equate-alpha-with-selfish-are.274910 https://theredarchive.com/post/274910

Comments