What was the one "rock bottom" moment in your life that made you reevaluate your approach to women and relationships (and eventually led you to the Red Pill)?

alcockell · 2015-06-16T07:12:09+00:00

Try being sexually abused by predatory girls at age 13 in 1984, with a sociosexual developmental age of 8 due to unknown at the time Asperger Syndrome. The assailants silenced me by threatening to cry rape.

Victim blamed by a feminist tutor.

All through this time we had the AIDS crisis and Dworkin screeching that "all men are rapsts - that means you!" Through the culture of the time.

I had to wait until 2004 before someone told me it wasn't my fault.

Say hello to 3 decades of suicidal eating.

trpdownunder · 2015-06-16T08:00:02+00:00

Men are not happy. That article changed my life. I read it and everything clicked. I looked around at my dad and all the other people I knew in life and it was like they all just magically slotted into this one role of depressed, sexless older male who works a 9-5 until he finally slips and dies and greases the cogs of the corporate machine with his own blood. Before that I hadn't really thought about gender so much. Boys were boys and girls were girls and we were all mostly equal. We'd all go on to get jobs after uni and be happy. But that article shook things up for me and I realised that dream was dead. The reality of the situation was a whole lot more murky and carnal and self serving than what I'd been told. For a while, I was pretty angry. But then I realised that ultimately we're all human beings and we're all acting in our own interest in someway. We can't change who we are. That realisation was bought on by micro-economics classes, psychedelics and meditation. It also marked my ascent from the anger phase. I'm pretty happy with the man I've become.

capt-next-a-hoe · 2015-06-16T04:19:23+00:00

I think it was like 2 a.m. and I just got done Facebook chatting with two girls I was mad orbiting. I listened to their problems and their insecurities about being new to college.

I remember thinking "WTF am I doing right now?" This same situation happened so many times in high school, why is it happening in college?

Then someone mentioned The Red Pill in a thread, I looked into it (especially the "Men Are Not Happy" article), and felt something click deep within me.

I immediately stopped being an emotional sponge, and focused all my efforts in improving my SMV. I'm about to have a fling with a qt that I had missed out on during high school.

TheRealMewt · 2015-06-16T04:16:40+00:00

My DUI back in 2014.

I spent a week in a psychiatric ward after I got arrested for drunken driving since I honestly believed my life was over. I didn't think I'd be able to maintain my career, I wouldn't be able to provide for my son, just everything was shit. When I got out, I let my then wife know what happened and after I was finished, she had something to tell me - she was pregnant. I had been in Europe for five months at the time and she and I hadn't had sex since 2012.

I had realized I was making too many self-destructive life choices and I needed to come up on the rebound and reevaluate everything that led me down the life of disaster. Finding The Red Pill has been just the kick in the ass I needed.

exit_sandman · 2015-06-16T07:53:25+00:00

No rock bottom experience, just the constant experiencing that what I was told about gender and gender relations, what I believed about gender and gender relations was completely and utterly wrong. The otherwise somewhat silly Matrix-analogy actually makes sense in that regard - always having the nagging feeling that something is off.

My simple reason for ending up at RP: It's not that i agree with all redpill assertions - it's just that I disagree with bluepill assertions (bluepill as redpill defines it).

TheGreasyPole · 2015-06-16T08:23:02+00:00

No rock bottom experience for me.

We'd just had the kids, the sex life had tailed off, and I was concerned (due to family history) that divorce could one day be in my future. Started looking for stuff to improve my marriage, all BP stuff, all a complete shit-show-fail-parade.

Basically, loads of advice but unstructured, not in an understandable model, as often making things worse as better.

As a part of all this discovered RP. MMSLP first, then most of TRP/MRP sidebar, then MRP/TRP posts, then started commenting.

In contrast to my experiene with BP advice... It all worked, it was together in a consistent model, I even found I did not have to seek or follow any advice ! The model was good enough to work out all my solutions more or less on my own. So I fixed my life, over about 6 months, using RP.

Then I started commenting and unplugged the wife. A few months later here we are.

No "rock bottom"... Just turning a "poor situation that could easily have got worse and become a disaster" into a very big success we are both happy with.

We didn't realise my wife was a broken, damaged, insecure and abused woman until I came on here. Turns out, I am some form of sado-masochistic woman torturer who's wife only stays with him because I have her terrified of leaving me via constant mental abuse and assholry, apparently.

Came as one hell of a surprise to the wife, I can tell you.

[deleted] · 2015-06-16T04:14:52+00:00

Sometimes it's not the rockbottom with women. Sometimes it's the rockbottom with something else.

And when that happens, it ends up translating to everything else you do in life.

For example, if you have a near death experience, you might "Wake up" and be more of a go-getter. Which in turn translates into approaching jobs, women, etc etc.

I won't speak of my experience. Most everyone has to go through some sort of drama at some point in their life. But know that when you can't go back, it's easier to go further. When you know that standing still means homelessness and a lack of a support system, it's easier to take charge and take more risks.

prodigy2throw · 2015-06-16T05:04:58+00:00

I pretty much started at rock bottom and never really left until I found trp a year ago. Was terrified of women, had no confidence in myself and was too scared too improve. Once I started trying to put myself out there with women I realized I was in a completely different league than these women and the experiences, attention and validation they've received throughout their life. It was mind blowing. Realizing that only being nice, caring and genuinely interested gets you nowhere with women honest to goodness sucks.

Found trp through some random post on r/seduction. I don't remember the post or who wrote it but whoever that guy is, he honestly changed my life.

Quintus_Pillus · 2015-06-16T08:55:25+00:00

Deep into the blue pill (feminism, etc.) since I was a teenager. I had my first relationship when I was emotionally a teenager with an older woman, staunch feminist type, which pulled me deeper into that pit. I was a monogamist (Still I am I'd say), but all my relationships were quite awful. The woman was the leader, there was an important lack of sex and affection from their side (especially public affection) and I had to hear 1000 excuses and rationalizations about it, but I believed all of them.

My second-to-last relationship wrecked me. Being rejected, inside a relationship, so often, can have terrible consequences for a person. As I wrote in another thread, during the next two years, I had a total of two dates, while my ex-girlfriend, a chronically depressed woman with zero ambition, was having ONS, FWB and even two relationships with attractive men. That was even worse and it made me very, very bitter.

So those blogs that some friend had linked me (to Roosh V, to Rollo, etc.) suddenly started to make more sense. Many things started to make sense. What if...they were actually right? Even if not totally right, what if they actually had solid points?

Then I kinda overcompensated with the alphaness thingy, I started to get more attention and ended in a relationship with an amazing woman. Smart, attractive, ambitious, sweet. Finally, after so long, a good relationship. But step by step, tiny issues started to appear (normal ones), but they became huge in my mind, which started to crack me. Her reaction was to drift a bit, so I'd go more paranoid and this started a cycle where I went full needy and she left, not without being very sad that it had gone this way.

Then I understood that there's a lot of work to do, starting by accepting that being a man is a good thing and that I had been lied for many, many years.

EDIT : I'm going to add some details. Getting in better shape and adopting the "alpha" attitude got me more attention and I got to realize with how much I could get away if I was being cocky and the girl was attracted. It was mind blowing for me. Suddenly, I was being a "jerk", that thing I had been told to hate...and it was "working".

Nazrath2112 · 2015-06-16T06:13:47+00:00

I have pretty much been RP my whole life, I credit my RP mom for that.

I could regale you with some stories. Like the first time I saw AWALT, I was 18 just about to go in the army and this chick was a friend of mine but had a boyfriend and she was hot and came onto me before I left for the army.

When I was about 24 or so I found http://www.laddertheory.com/ which is pretty much the same thing as what TRP is based on. I was talking with this chick at work and she totally agreed with the theory. We ended up banging even though she had a boy friend.

On the specific question on how I found TRP. I was arguing with some feminists on facebook, ironically one of the people from the above stories friends about the HAES movement. I was talking like I normally do and one of the dudes asked me if I was a red piller. Went looking for it and found TRP. It was a big welcome home moment.

AmericanHistoryAFBB · 2015-06-16T06:49:44+00:00

I have two.

June 2014, being dumped in a North Dakota motel room on a rainy day by the girl I thought was the one, after being in a long distance relationship for 6 months.

February 2015, being dumped on Valentines Day. Need I say more?

purpthrowaway1 · 2015-06-16T07:47:50+00:00

Being rejected by the girl that I thought I loved, and she loved me back. Childhood friend, cute geek, NOT EVEN ATTRACTIVE in the 'normal' sense, no boobs, no ass. I completely fell for her personality.

Turns out she was a huge slut in her spare time, 'behind my back'.

But obviously she wouldn't want to fuck me, her 'friend'.

After I confessed to her she told me everything, the guys she used to fuck. I was oblivious to that because I was simpl so in love with her I couldnt' see all the dicks she was sucking in her spare time. Got depressed, bitter, found some savior in TRP, am over it now. Now I take TRP with a grain of salt and just am a selfish bastard. Seems to work out for me so far.

[deleted] · 2015-06-16T08:29:34+00:00

My life was shit in general. I tried to kill myself not too long ago mostly due to untreated depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I'm doing a lot of things to try and sort myself out now, most of which is just getting treatment for those disorders but I'm creating a more positive lifestyle for myself at the same time. I am a lot better than I was but I have more to go.

As for where RP fits in, I'm purple because I have cherrypicked a few of the self-improvement tips from RP especially the emphasis on lifting to help with this and it's been a big contributor to improving my self-confidence.

If you want something about relationships specifically, basically I used to act like a pussy and while I never found it too difficult to get a girlfriend it was hard to keep one for too long. I stopped acting like a pussy about a year ago and it helped me out a lot when it comes to maintaining relationships and attraction. But that was never a rock bottom moment, just the realisation that "be yourself and nice girls will like you" is actually bullshit which I should have made a lot sooner.

Not as dramatic as some others on here I know, but I think seeing this weird corner of the internet has partly contributed to my drive for self-improvement so I'm happy about that. I'll be honest though I'm mostly on PPD because I find internet arguments fun.

DietCokeImOnMyKnees · 2015-06-16T04:17:23+00:00

No rock bottom experience for me. I always did ok with women in the US. When I moved to Asia, suddenly I was having ONS stands all the time. No these women weren't desperate for money, just my SMV increased dramatically by being a scarce white guy. I used to believe that women generally only had sex in relationships, and would only have casual sex under limited circumstances. Then I realised that if they see you as high value, its a completely different set of rules.

Xemnas81 · 2015-06-16T11:03:45+00:00

Wasn't my rock bottom, it was my parents. Nearly saw my father become an empty shell, alcoholic, sounding like an 8 year old crying in my nan's bedroom, running out of the house after having smashed something in tears like he just wanted to get run over, maybe even kill himself. All because of the depression mom's affair and the divorce put him through. Will never trust mom or respect dad the same way again, have tried for 6 years and it's not happening. Now filters all my with suspicion and awareness that we all die, everything ends, everyone leaves, security is nothing

ppdthrowawai · 2015-06-16T12:30:58+00:00

For me, I had always been slightly alpha. I didn't take shit from people, was very intelligent, was progressing to a great career, college athlete, and a generally good looking guy. Had decent success with girls but was more into LTRs.

Was engaged to a girl only to find that our sex life was bottoming out. I tried everything and I mean EVERYTHING to fix it along with the accompanying problems. I have this never give up sort of mentality so I refused to give up on the relationship. At rock bottom I ended up reading MMSLP and slowly implementing it into the relationship. Holy shit it worked! It was the only thing that worked!! I was taking back control of my relationship.

Around the time we broke up, I was the happiest I had ever been. I was back in shape, renewing my interests in life, and my wonderful fiancee. I amusingly looked back at the last (very good) relationship I had with a girl and remember the reasons why she broke up with me. It was almost word for word a textbook reply of me being too beta, while citing the alpha qualities that attracted her in the first place. I slowly realized other short and long term relationships where things fizzled out and why. It all just clicked. Around this time my fiance, whom was more doting and attentive than ever, would regularly list of all the alpha qualities that attracted her to me.

Where things went wrong (and ironically saved my life): The subtle dread I had been injecting into the relationship and refusal to do choreplay meant I was no longer doing the majority of the work in the relationship. She ended up having a nervous breakdown and slipped. Long story short, I found out through her slip ups that she was a duplicitous gold digger. The trust was shattered and the relationship was immediately over.

Since being single, everything I learned on that journey has been extremely helpful in my relationships. I've more efficiently than ever weeded out the shitty ones and been in general, the prized to be sought after. I've always had a reputation of being a really nice, thoughtful guy. I still have that reputation.

Cyralea · 2015-06-16T16:22:39+00:00

The fourth in a series of near-identical failed relationships. I spent years wondering why women weren't attracted to me beyond the initial stages. I was attractive, confident and funny. Surely that's all that I needed? I was told that the combination of those things along with being extra nice to women and treating them like princesses is exactly what they wanted. Every pro-feminist narrative told me so. I was the most pro-woman man on the planet.

I decided something had to change. I became more selfish. More focused on my needs, more indifferent to the needs of others. I made a slew of changes years before TRP came into existence, and my dating life improved by leaps and bounds. Fast forward several years, I stumbled upon TRP one day while redditing and it hit me like I discovered a Unifying Theory of Relationships. Everything I already knew, plus stuff I didn't, assembled in one place.

I know TRP works because I did it the painstakingly hard way.

[deleted] · 2015-06-16T19:53:55+00:00

There were many rock bottom moments for me and the ultimate reason to subscribe to trp was disappointment with a platonic female friend.

But the first real breaking bad moment for me was, long before trp:

Dated a woman. Both early to mid twenties.

(I really don't understand the American definition of "dating". Dating where I live means you aren't in a relationship yet and probably didn't even make out. It's more "going out and see if you click". Once you are together, it's not dating anymore. It's a relationship). Please note that I am using this definition of dating in this comment.

Everything was looking fine. Would have probably made out and got together on the next date. All the signs were there. She slept with a guy then and told me about it. She didn't see anything wrong with it. I couldn't believe it. Romantic delusions and stuff. I always thought that while you were dating and showing interest in getting together with someone you wouldn't sleep around.

Not sleeping around while dating would be considered "normal" by most people here, but on the other hand, sleeping with another guy while dating someone wouldn't be "technically" wrong.

I told her that I wasn't interested anymore and she couldn't understand it. Tripled her efforts to reel me in after that.

Cut contact. Talked with another long time female friend about it. She agreed that it wasn't technically wrong of her but that it was still shitty.

Not too much later this friend and I started dating. We had been friends for 1.5 years before and wouldn't have thought that we would end up dating. But we really clicked and all was looking good.

After a great date we were on the phone a few days later making plans to visit a musical together with a night at a hotel. That evening she visited a guy and slept with him.

To be honest I know that she didn't intend to sleep with him but the guy was a good-looking player.

She told me the next day about it and she was really sorry. I said okay but made it clear that I had completely lost interest in dating her. Doesn't matter if technically not wrong...as a romantic guy it was a dealbreaker for me.

She tripled her efforts and said that she wants to "make up for it". She was so persistent and I liked her enough that I decided to give it a try. She was happy.

But when we met she seemed to have completely changed her view. She accused me of judging her, told me that I have no right to do so, that she didn't do anything wrong.

Don't get me wrong. It's her right to feel so and everything, but she gave off a completely different picture in order to meet me again. And I felt betrayed.

She made it clear that she still wants to have a relationship but that I can not lay any blame on her.

That was a rock bottom moment for me. Two consecutive girls I was dating sleeping with other guys while we were working towards a relationship completely shattered my romantic delusions. The first girl tried her luck again and wrote a detailed description of how she would blow me if we met again.

I wondered why I was getting way more attention and validation now that I had rejected them than I did when I was nice and caring and put real effort in.

That's when I decided to go dark-side. No more romantic delusions. Just NSA sex.

I literally went through my cell-phone to look for a woman I could sleep with.

Found one. Totally hot. I had rejected her because of her former promiscuity about 1-1.5 years ago. (And because of her personality, but I had only given her "former promiscuity" as explanation when I had told her that it wouldn't work out).

I was completely honest with her. "I see things completely different now. I am not looking for a relationship anymore and just want casual sex."

We slept together once and it was awful. No feelings and stuff. Romantic delusions are hard to get rid off. But the validation I got from it was unbelievable.

Turned out (and I knew before of course) that she wanted a relationship but hoped to get there eventually by having casual sex with me. I took advantage of that. When she told me that she had hoped that it would lead to a relationship, I told her no again. That's when she suggested to be fwb. I couldn't believe it. I had always thought that a guy like me would never be considered fwb material by a hot girl. I wanted to respond but as I gathered my thoughts to reply she took the silence as rejection and went "okay then. No fwb. Just sex. Better than being lonely all the time."

When I told my female friends about it and shared my bad conscience, not one of them saw anything wrong in what I did.

"But you told her you only wanted casual sex."

"Yes, but I knew she hoped that it would lead to a commited relationship."

"She has herself to blame. You were completely honest."

"But it was still a shitty thing to do. Taking advantage of her hopes."

"No, not at all. You were completely honest."

There I was. I had patiently tried to win girls over by courting them and suddenly when I had decided to completely disregard their feelings and put no effort in at all, I got mad validation and was chased and got offered NSA sex. And my female friends saw nothing wrong with it. They even seemed to respect me more for having sex with her. (She was really hot).

This glimpse into a completely different world than the romantic one I had always thought was the real one shocked me beyond belief. I was so scared that I immediately entered a bluepill relationship in hopes to forget about it. A furious and successful way of plugging me back in. Was BP for another 3-3.5 years.

Tbh, remembering it still scares the shit out of me.

[deleted] · 2015-06-16T14:57:59+00:00

Mine was very early. 10th grade, I had this idea that I didn't ever want to be like one of those "jock assholes" and I didn't ever want to "pressure" girls into sex, because they were good and pure and etc etc.

So, I start dating a girl at school and we kiss alot but I never, ever touch her body- because I am a nice guy, and not one of those horrible boys who initiates sex using dubious tactics! She will initiate sex when SHE is ready. Good boy. Feminist boy. Of course, after a few weeks, she becomes really bored with me and stops seeing me.

This made me realize- my reticence was doing her, and me, no favors. Taking the responsibility to initiate sex or dating was my job.

Pussy has danced to my tune ever since.

thereddespair · 2015-06-16T15:59:37+00:00

in my case it wasnt women or men really.

I just heard of the place being made fun of elsewhere (that i cant remember where).

I checked it out, curiosity.

After reading I noticed its a stingy place, but after a while it started to agree. Especially the self improvement parts they focus on. At the time, I was in total chaos - but after, it was more of controlled chaos. It helped me get closer to balance.

__

Made me realize too that I was a shitty woman. Though people outside might celebrate it, logic and reason beats that. And I had to change. Its hard I admit, surrounded by people who do the opposite off screen.

nomdplume · 2015-06-16T18:34:24+00:00

Which time?

The first time was about two decades ago. I had just come off of a series of short relationships (each averaged around six months), each one worse than the previous one. I was okay at "game" but shite at "relationships."

After the last, particularly brutal "relationships", I was angry, bitter, and a mess. The result was a serious "come to Jesus" moment - I realized I had to rethink everything I thought I knew about sex/love/relationships and start over.

So, I started to introspect, observe, and create something new.

The result, when I was done with that, was a set of new commitments to myself and to my relationships, and the inner strength to stay true to those, no matter what.

Out of that, I not only found myself being around a high-caliber of woman, but I met and eventually married my now wife, who, for many years, was my "dream girl" and I had a "dream marriage."

I stumbled across TRP (and the greater "manosphere") while looking for ways to salvage my life and my marriage after it collapsed. What I read brought me back to everything I knew previously but had disregarded, either through willful ignorance or just lack of perspective. I'm in a deep hole, though, so it will be a while before I can reclaim my former glory.

Lonny_zone · 2015-06-16T18:44:06+00:00

I found the substance of Red Pill strategy IRL: I had started lifting. Lifting granted me with female gaze, but my game needed work; I self-improved, but still came up short with any girl I actually cared about. I had no idea why until...

...years ago, I fell into a FWB situation with a girl I didn't really care for emotionally, and I was attracted just enough to have sex with her.

She was the first girl I had been involved with where I couldn't care less about keeping her in my life.

This made TRP tactics like dread game come naturally, her shit tests bounced off of me like bullets off Superman, and I never let myself be dragged into outrageous acts of servitude. The longer the relationship went on, the less I cared, and the less I cared, the more she wanted me, and the more she did everything she could to please me!

Only a year or two ago I found TRP online, because I had become frustrated with Feminism 3.0, figuring they must be wrong about this place, only to find a sacred scroll of information I wish I could have been granted before freshman year of high school!

[deleted] · 2015-06-16T20:26:59+00:00

I used to think of women as equals, or at least I didn't actively look as them children. Eventually I realized that women weren't equal to me which led to a greater realization that they weren't equal to men in general. I realized that my entire approach to them had been wrong and that it was a mistake to view them as equals. "The most responsible teenager in the house" is a very apt way of describing women. I still get frustrated with them from time to time because of my expectations but I get better at not becoming frustrated over time and my life has never been better.

blametheboogie · 2015-06-17T05:39:09+00:00

No rock bottom moment for me. I have a few friends who were very good with women, when I tried to do the things they suggested it didn't work for me. I knew that there was something going on in their heads that their manner and attitudes that made this work for them, they couldn't explain it but I knew it was there. They were the type of guys that rp calls Naturals. They didn't have a lot in common except that they were more extroverted than I am. One was a stereotypical jock, one was a pretty boy and the other was sort of a good old boy.

The fact that my friends were so different made it harder for me to figure out what they all had in common. Rp as explained by Rollo made me see that it was abundance mentality, confidence with women, cocky and funny and passing shit tests. Unfortunately they all crashed in burned in ltrs by turning beta in them, rp explained why this happens too so rp was very helpful for me.

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