Met a girl on Tinder. Traded some interesting conversation-starting questions through text, and she agreed to meet me for coffee a few hours later. Go to Starbucks and have an amazing time conversing with the girl. What I thought would be an hour or two ended up being a seven hour date.

We both had stuff to do, dinner to eat, etc., but we wanted to continue the conversation so we both stayed. She needed to organize and clean her room. I asked if she wanted to go to her apartment, and I'd hang out with her while she sorted that out. She declined two or three times.

Throughout the date, there were IOIs. She constantly readjusted her hair, leaned in towards me, and lip biting. She showed me her hands because she explained a nervous tick of biting her nails, so I touched the hands, and she seemed comfortable with me touching. There were slow periods where it was silent, as you might imagine during such a long conversation, but, during those moments of silence, we did eye gazing and smiling.

By the end of the date, we both agreed that we'd be there all night if one of us didn't leave. She asked "for my help" to leave by leaving first. Looking back, I'm not sure whether this is an IOD or not. We both said we had a wonderful time, and I said I'd text her. We traded fun texts that evening, and it seemed solid.

Texted her two days later, and she texted a reply two days after that. Hasn't replied to my latest text trying to start conversation. Now, oneitis, BP, pussy feelings because I like her.

Here are my main problems:

  • Struggling to escalate

  • Struggling with kino - don't know body language well enough to comprehend the girl's boundaries

  • Do not know how to close - hold hands? hug? kiss? Don't know how to end.

  • Haven't fully swallowed TRP and adopted the abundance mentality

  • Feeling some oneitis because I had such a good time

Questions:

  • Are extra long dates bad?

  • Should I put a time constraint on a date when I cannot escalate?

  • What would have been a better way to close in this situation?

EDIT:

Well, it seems this has caught the attention of another sub that I didn't realize existed until I received PMs from multiple people from its community. https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBluePill/comments/2uf92w/trper_has_long_date_with_girl_he_really_likes/ Here is my reply to one of its members:

"I wouldn't have posted if I didn't want or need the the community's advice about the date. The post went up with full intentions for me to get educated, so I can comprehend what happened and how I can prevent failures in the future.

There is still hope for me to be a stronger man and person. Let's take a look at what has been suggested:

  • By not escalating the date, I have essentially friendzoned myself.

  • Sitting in one location the entire time is negative.

  • Throughout the date, I need to be bolder, rather than timid.

  • I should value my time higher and feel comfortable ending the date after some time.

Based on the above, would you disagree with these statements? If so, why, and what would you suggest otherwise? While the consensus is that seven hours without sex is bad, which I agree with, it was bad that the entire date went seven hours without ANY form of physical closure. Dating, which is essentially is a game, has economics - supply and demand. I have a supply of time, support, and listening for the woman, and she provides entertainment and her body. On this date, I clearly did not get as much out of it as she did, and I got screwed on the deal.

I do not disagree with [the sender] that a connection is a good thing, but it isn't the only thing I want. Only connecting is perfect for friends, and my intention is not to be this woman's friend. Can you also explain why she would distance herself after our date?

The suggestions in this thread have been healthy and positive, and I see no reason not to implement any of them. I will gladly read your rebuttal and what you suggest is going on."

And, as for my feelings for the girl, this thread has only recommended I do not stay stuck on a single woman after one encounter, especially since I've put myself into the friendzone; this is reasonable. I lack simple dating skills, and this woman has distanced herself, which demonstrates her disinterest.