Hello all. Throwaway since wife knows my main. My wife has a history of depression, which has been well controlled for about 90% of our time together and our relationship has been mostly smooth sailing. She adds a lot of value to my life and generally treats me like a king.
For the past month, she's entered a very depressed state. She has talked about potentially starting medication (which she used to take over a decade ago before we met) and I've given her praise for recognizing she has an issue that she may not be able to deal with on her own.
This morning we were having a conversation and she was in a pretty low state and stressed about having to work an afternoon shift. I told her that she seems burnt out and that she should take a personal day and her and I can go out and have some fun. She responded saying that she "can't do that" and "work needs her and it would be too soon of notice." I held my tongue and didn't argue back and just said "alright." and left it at that. She then went on getting upset about how she's been exercising and eating right and that no matter what she tries she hasn't been able to beat her current state of mind and that she stays up until 4am unable to sleep from the anxiety/depression. I responded by saying that if she's having a hard time, she's welcome to wake me up and that I'm there for her if she needs to talk. She then began saying she won't do that, and how "everyone says they're there for me and it doesn't make one bit of difference, and nothing you can do can help, so there's no point" NOTE: She said this last part in a lashing out kind of way with some anger and annoyance in her voice.
I responded by saying "All I'm trying to do is help and be there for you, and you're just giving me back attitude so I'm just gonna leave." I said this very calmly, but sternly without letting her comment get to me and maintaining frame. I then collected my things and went out the door to go to work without saying another word.
I'm fairly new to the redpill (sort of, I actually discovered it about 8 years ago and kind of internalized a fair amount of what I learned, which I think is what has led to a mostly successful relationship with this woman), so I want to know what you gents think about how I handled this situation. Was this a shit test? Or a comfort test disguised as a shit test? It's getting increasingly hard to differentiate between them in her current state. It's also tough because in general she is a very sweet and submissive wife.
All feedback is welcome. Please feel free to rip me a new one if you think that's appropriate. Criticism is welcome.
For reference, I would (being as objective as possible) say that my SMV is about an 8.5-9 and hers is about a 7-7.5. I've read all sidebar material but I find it hard to apply to situations when dealing with a depressed wife. I'm very much a "fixer" but I've been trying to take a more be the oak/supportive approach rather than trying to solve this depression problem for her, since I know this isn't something I'm capable of fixing and don't want to foster codependency.