How to politely tell him I'd like to drive myself?

AriesAsF · 2019-10-12T00:47:19+00:00

Just tell him exactly that. Its not a big deal and completely understandable. If he makes a big deal and insists, chances are he's a predator or relies on intimidation to obtain sex. This is actually a pretty important litmus test.

vintagegirlgame · 2019-10-12T01:20:46+00:00

Thank him sweetly for his offer and just state it will be easier for you to meet him there. Is this over text?

swandinort · 2019-10-12T04:43:25+00:00

You've had a few good approaches given by other people so far, but I just wanted to add - if he continues to push you on having him pick you up, it's a red flag.

[deleted] · 2019-10-12T15:51:46+00:00

Oh come on, setting a boundary is domineering?

*sigh* Even though I don't agree with most red pill stuff, I still genuinely like this sub most of the time. I like the energy of this sub. But then we get a post like this :/

A woman is domineering if she sets a boundary? I just....have no words....good luck to you. Relationships are going to suck for you if you can't ever disagree with your guy or set a boundary.

szsunshine · 2019-10-12T02:15:20+00:00

"Thank you, but I prefer to meet you" or "Thanks, but I prefer to drive myself."

If you don't make a big deal about it, it won't be a big deal. It's completely reasonable to want to drive yourself.

NicoleInBlue · 2019-10-12T08:54:18+00:00

Totally fine to tell him that you'll meet him there. You won't come off as unappreciative. There's nothing neurotic about it. Stick to your common sense and don't get into strangers' cars.

I would even go as far as not letting him know where I live until after a few dates and no red flags, given you've met on a dating app. There are some crazy people out there and your security should come first.

[deleted] · 2019-10-12T20:38:31+00:00

My policy was always drive yourselves to the dates in the beginning. That's just good common sense for everyone involved.

Whisper · 2019-10-12T03:42:54+00:00

A lot depends on how you say this. "I prefer to meet you there" with no explanation might come off as "I want to end the date when we leave the venue, no matter how well it's going" ... quite cold and off-putting.

I would recommend honesty. A girl can never overestimate how powerful a tactically employed appearance of weakness can actually be:

"I'm sorry, I had this one guy find out where I lived and kinda, well, stalked me. So I get really nervous about this. Can we meet in public the first time?"

What you would be doing, here, is a tactical attempt to provoke the male protective instinct. This not only gets you what you want (probably), it also allows you to test how easily provoked his protective instincts are.

Even better, if, after meeting him, you feel like this is no longer a concern, you get to turn it around and say "Can you pick me up next time? I'm sorry about earlier, but I really feel safe around you now."

Then it becomes a compliment.

In general, use flattery and requests, rather than demands or assertions of your "rights", even in cases where you actually have the right of it... because remember that your goal isn't to be Ms. Tough Chick and make sure everyone knows it, it's to have your interests looked after.

The best way to do that is to act meek in a carefully calculated way.

my_chopin_liszt · 2019-10-12T05:08:20+00:00

Totally done this before. I just genuinely told him (over text) that I will meet him there. If he says he wants to pick me up, I don’t answer his phone/text. It’s something I’ve always been very, very firm on. I actually never had any issues, zero pushback.

alexthegeologist · 2019-10-12T19:51:46+00:00

Thank him for the offer and state you prefer to drive yourself on first dates. If he inquires further, then mention safety reasons, but otherwise don't make a big deal about it. If he makes a big deal about it, it tells you more about him than polite conversation will.

116ill · 2019-10-12T03:33:25+00:00

Either meet at the place OR meet at a “neutral” area (ie not your resident / not the intended place(s) the date will take occur)

Parking lot, gas station, etc

afterthe_fapocalypse · 2019-10-12T23:37:21+00:00

Don't give an explanation. Just tell him you'll meet him wherever the date is. TMI is TMI

IgniteCuriousity19 · 2019-10-12T02:27:50+00:00

You say “like” 🙄ummmmmm... “I’ll drive myself” and fuck’n 😡🤬 it!!!! Or tu “sono un idiota”, y el también for offering. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌🏽

Title	How to politely tell him I'd like to drive myself?
Author	PolitelyRefined
Upvotes	28
Comments	18
Date	October 12, 2019 12:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/dgnwde/how_to_politely_tell_him_id_like_to_drive_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-politely-tell-him-id-like-to-drive-myself.289851 https://theredarchive.com/post/289851

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