I've been meanign to write down these thoughts for a while, I am still brewing them so they are not yet fully formed eloquently, alas here we go, it's time.

I'm a guy, and I am a bit older than the average redditor at 50-something. I've been married twice and into too many relationships of any kind from FWB before FWB was a thing, to cohabitating, LDR, ONS, FB, and dating etc.. These days I enjoy the single life very much.

I grew up and ever since I can remember all I wanted was 1 woman as my wife, be a good husband, job etc.. Through the years I have seen that my views didn't work well for me, when I wanted to date seriously girls were too busy not dating seriously. Then I was married from age 25 to 32; and when I finally got divorced I was ready and willing to finally give it a try to the "casual dating". Of course, age-appropriate women were now too busy looking for a husband. I eventually solved that dilemma.

But I diverge.

When I look at the US, at the state of things between men and women, what I see is a fight, the battle of the sexes. Divisive narrative, each side fingerpointing the other creating even more division and distance.

My parents were toxic to me, and the reminder of my family was not that great either; but them and their peers, behind the disagreements there was at least the ideal that a man and a woman in somewhat of a relationship were partners working together to better their life in common; they might disagree on the tactics, but the strategy was a unifying strategy. People would talk about how to they could be a good husband or how they could be a good wife; so that they could attract someone good of the opposite sex.

The ideal is gone. Everyone is demanding from the other side, and justifying their shortcomings one way or another; and they fingerprinting the entire other side with the sins committed by a minority. Treating the other side like an enemy will produce enemy-like behavior back.

The solution? The solution lies within each one of us, be and achieve the person that we are proud to be, regardless of anything else; and - if we so wish - look around for that ever-elusive someone who is like-minded; with matching personality, worldviews and philosophy of life and self; and then maybe, just maybe, those 2 might be able to spend some quality relationship time together.

Maybe. I see such a thing as a statistical aberration, ?3 standard deviations from mean.

[Getting off the soap box]