TL:DR - In a healthy relationship dynamic, a man needs to get his needs met directly, a woman covertly through his needs. It is a horror story when it's the other way around.

In a past post, I had written that when you're in love with someone, whom you ultimately love is only yourself, because ultimately your needs - physical, emotional, survival whatever are being met. Being in love is a field of energy that sweeps you in, and it is that which you seek ultimately through another person. Somewhere you are able to include another person in it, or else this would be totally solipsistic, but often that never happens, especially not now.

So what it means is, this thing called love that we all want because it feels so good, is the ultimate covert contract. How it goes is like so :

I say I love you because you meet my needs, but actually I am attracted to you and love myself ultimately.

You say you love me because of the way I make you feel and meet your needs, but actually you are attracted to me and ultimately love yourself.

We will both believe and act as if we have no awareness of this contract, because nature drugged us up with lots of good feelz.

When the feels wear off for any reason, the contract gets exposed. In rather shocking and painful ways.

But what about devotion, <insert any ideal or logical definition of how love and relationships should work here> ? Well, devotion is great, but it doesn't need a relationship. That is a consequence of your own frame and how virtuous you want to be. You can just choose to be devoted to anything, even without a reason. Attraction however, is the most conditional of things.

Neither is devotion a substitute that can replace attraction, nor is it some reward for attraction, nor is it something that creates sexual attraction. Attraction is a pure, selfish, reactive, but ultimately mutually beneficial emotion. So first thing, let's eliminate the covert contract that your devotion can cause attraction in her. It can't. Only your high SMV can do it. And like I wrote in my previous post, if it's really high, you don't have to do anything.

But does it mean it's a bad thing? Absolutely not. Because in the absence of attraction, revulsion is the result. If anything, a lack of attraction would expose the covert contract so overtly that you see it is actually a very cold blooded deal without the emotions behind it.

But you need to be aware of this covert contract. Needs aren't the issue here, life can't happen without needs. Emotional needs are important. And any person pretending to be needless exposes themselves as dishonest after a point, usually when they throw a victim puke. This lack of honesty means that Nice Guys, children, and all women, resort to covert ways of getting their needs met, using covert contracts .

A man, as he awakens to a Red Pill Awareness, must ultimately become honest about his needs, make them a priority, turn the covert contracts into honest ones by becoming responsible for his needs and being in the drivers' seat, and replacing neediness with abundance. All that is covered well in the books. Good examples of how this is done can be found on the mrp sub. First thing is that men slowly start making themselves responsible for their needs and becoming the men they need to be. This get shit tested by their women, which slowly transforms into comfort tests, and can culminate in a main event. If the relationship is authentic, it gets to a point where the woman is snapped out of me me and me and realizes what the man's needs are, and that they're important. And that if she refuses to recognize this, he can always get them met in his own ways, and she and her needs would be the loser.

At this point, the frame comes into the man's life when she's realized that for the fulfillment of her needs, she needs to fulfill his. It is this that eliminates the covert contract. She still gets her needs met covertly, but through her man's needs instead of using him as a mere tool that she eventually falls out of love with. And that brings us to a very important observation.

Men turn out to be very good at this process of meeting their needs overtly because that's how they were meant to be all along. In order to execute an overt fulfillment of one's needs, one needs abundance and the ability to love by looking down. A certain level of impersonal awareness is also needed. Women on the other hand, necessarily need to love and get their needs met covertly. They love works by looking up. They just can't play this overt game. When they do, instantly the man is beneath them, and the attraction is gone, and in it's place, contempt results. You can see this that a woman only communicates overtly when her natural forms of communication has failed, and she's frustrated and angry.

As I had written in an earlier post, Women simply cannot love without covert contracts. They always oscillate between love and being loved, and to some extent she needs the drama to feel feminine. Too much however, leads to betaization of the man, and eventually she begins to create overt contracts, and a woman who is too overt, is a woman with ego and contempt in her heart. Do not debate this, see how your body feels at a visceral level when a woman turns into a contempt filled imitation of a man.

That's the number one mistake all feminists do. Many of them had poor relationships with their fathers and spouses and other men and they couldn't get their needs met in a feminine way. Or they were lesbians and really wanted to be masculine. Then, seeking the masculine energy by themselves, they try to become masculine, try to be too overt, and when they do, the sweet covert contract becomes a psychopathic, contemptuous overt contract where the truth is laid bare. Women just cannot love a man whom they see as beneath her and only a tool for herself. Men can feel this contempt at a visceral level - we are totally wired to recognize signs of a woman's contempt. And we do not like that tone she uses when she tries to communicate overtly, because there's contempt in it. We can be totally overt and love them, and they can love us for it, but she can't.

To avoid her fulfilling her end of the relationship contract overtly, we need to stop our covert contracts, which means becoming honest about our needs and fulfilling them in more direct ways. This can only happen when life is our own frame. So long as we operate in her frame, we will be the ones trying to get our needs covertly met by being weak betas, and she'll be getting her needs met directly by treating us with utter contempt and dumping us for a man where she can actually feel feminine around.

Guys, there's just no other way it can really work well. Women make terrible men, men make terrible women. Men love overtly, women covertly.

The problem with all of us is that the last time we were naturally masculine was probably when we were toddlers (read Anton's book - The Manual to get this). After that, we've been raised by women, heard their BP delusions, but been the victim of their RP actions, and have only learnt how to love in the way children and women do, a needy, dependent love, naively idealistic love, devoid of awareness of truth and experience - a love that that looks up and tries to get one's needs met through covert, un-masculine ways. We have forgotten how to love as men or have yet to learn it - because nature gave our dick a huge head start before our brain. Meanwhile, those women, not finding the masculine energy the needed from us, have tried to love in overt, un-feminine ways and have failed miserably.

This problem cannot be solved by them because they don't know what they're doing, they just go by reactive feel. We know, and only we can fix this, at least in our own lives. Men aren't a true herd as I wrote in an earlier post, and a collective change requires every individual man to wake up from delusion. For which every man, needs to get his butt kicked by life at least once, or be naturally who he is from the start.

Of course, just because we're doing everything right doesn't guarantee total security from her, because if there's one thing forever changing, unsteady and prone to flux, it's woman. If there is one thing that never really is secure at any time, it's life. The one thing that can be the steadiest presence in your own life under all situations is you alone. Otherwise security is an illusion, and you can only be confidently secure when you realize that you have overcome this need for being safe and secure always. When a man is ok with dying, he has overcome his fear of death. So don't make a covert contract that "If I do everything right the RP way, her love is guaranteed".

You are the only ever present reality in your life, all others just come and go. Either they will do it themselves, or time will do it in the long run. That does not mean our needs don't matter, but let's be realistic - the world is what it is. Only when we put our foot down strong enough and actively enough, we create a world where we are taken seriously. Emphasis on "create".

Doing everything right the RP way will make your life authentic, it will make your relationships authentic. If they were genuine, they will get better. If they are not, they will fade and die. If they were already dead, you will write the epitaph and publish the obituary, and put yourself and everyone out of their misery. When you have come to a point where you are no longer insecure about the truthful outcome, then you have overcome your need for security, and your need for covert contracts in you relationship. You can then be the man in the relationship. Meanwhile let her meet her needs covertly through your needs, even if she's aware of it, that's better for her and keeps her attraction high in the relationship. Then she can be the woman in the relationship. If she doesn't want to, she may go, and you'll be better off too.

EDIT : To those newbs who come here, still deep in the blue end of the pool, and make their very first comment here wondering what this is about, and all your own concepts -- reading the sidebars of this and mrp, lifting, doing the work, learning stuff practically for themselves, are all mandatory. These insights didn't come in overnight. You see things like these after like over a year and a half of reading, working and internalising a new mindset and observing hundreds of people, trying, failing and succeeding.

You should realize this is not some quick fix, do or say one or two things and happily ever after. I realize I'm only now really beginning to get some of the stuff I read and observed, only now is has my whole thought process changed to a point where it's becoming natural - it's humbling stuff. This is serious business, for those who are committed for a lifetime of growth.