I’ve developed feelings for my boss and I don’t know how to overcome them. Advice please?

Zegiknie · 2019-12-07T09:10:24+00:00

Your feelings and thoughts and attractions are nobodys business but your own. Don't ever tell your husband something like that again - it only serves to hurt him. There's no need to feel guilty or tormented for being attracted to people or fantasizing about things (half my fantasies I would never even want to try for real, too freaky!). They are just thoughts, that is all. Actions are regulated, speech oppressed, but thoughts should fly free as the birds.

If these particular thoughts are an annoyance, work elsewhere.

What you should have done is enjoy a nice fantasy about the guy then come to your husband wet and wanting.

Considering you already created needless drama, you should now just go work elsewhere as a gesture to your husband. And make sure he sees that this doesn't take away from your desire for him.

ETA: If he brings it up again, explain it's not so much the person that attracts you, but the fact that he is your boss. Then do a little roleplay. I don't care if you feel that's true or not - it more than likely is.

G77R23D · 2019-12-07T04:17:01+00:00

Consider requesting a transfer to a lateral role in another department.

xoxobenji · 2019-12-07T03:56:51+00:00

I personally think this is normal. When you spend so much time with someone (8-9 hrs/ a day) you begin to get to know them to a certain extent. And that what you have to remind your self you only know the good, well behaved version of him and that’s what you like. You’re husband sounds amazing I would never hurt someone’s feeling how is that understanding and loving but again that’s me.

Zegiknie · 2019-12-07T04:01:48+00:00

[deleted]

Justflyjustflyaway · 2019-12-07T14:54:55+00:00

[deleted]

gvs77 · 2019-12-08T15:24:41+00:00

You know what you should do right? Change jobs and don't see him again. Anything less is playing with fire. And next time this happens, do that without telling your husband.

SraSB · 2019-12-08T06:00:42+00:00

Do you think you might be testing the water to see if he would be open to you having multiple partners/open marriage? I'm asking as you mention you've been involve with multiple partners in the past.

I don't know you or your husband but I doubt any alpha male would be happy with this set up.

Maybe some counselling for yourself and couples counselling would help you.

I will pray for you. God bless

Kittennoodle · 2019-12-11T18:17:28+00:00

I would honestly quit your job if I were in that position and look for a new one. My husband and I just had a real conversation the other day that we've needed to have for years. When I first moved in with him, I worked at a gas station. There was a regular customer that would flirt with me that I didn't shut down. It's pretty easy to lie to yourself and think you would never let things get too far, but honestly, why tempt yourself? I've been lying to myself so much and had to acknowledge that yes, I would have let that spiral if the opportunity came. The only reason it didn't is because my husband told me to quit my job. I don't know if it's all women, but I have to accept that I personally can't put myself in situations of temptation and I CANNOT drink. Sure, I could fight the desire for a while, but what happens when the right scenario pops up? Do you want to risk ruining your marriage? DON'T tempt yourself.

Morelifetho · 2019-12-07T11:28:55+00:00

You hooked up with so many guys in the past that you've destroyed your capability to pair-bond with your one life partner

You're either going to act on it, or not act on it but wish you could. Either way your husband deserves better, with all due respect.

pearlsandstilettos · 2019-12-07T23:26:17+00:00

[removed]

Morelifetho · 2019-12-07T23:29:01+00:00

And, the only reason you could've possibly gained feelings for another man is if your current man wasn't already doing it for you. Getting feelings for someone else even though you already have a man is your hypergamy at work letting you know that there's someone better than your current

Title	I’ve developed feelings for my boss and I don’t know how to overcome them. Advice please?
Author	Justflyjustflyaway
Upvotes	0
Comments	26
Date	December 6, 2019 11:09 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/e766af/ive_developed_feelings_for_my_boss_and_i_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/ive-developed-feelings-for-my-boss-and-i-dont-know.298110 https://theredarchive.com/post/298110

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