I feel like an emotionless robot
I’ve realised during all my self improvement that I’m not a very emotional person, this in itself doesn’t sound like an issue, I mean I don’t want to cry every time my girlfriend is nasty to me or my kid brings home another shitty painting from school but it would be nice to feel passionate or really pissed about something occasionally.
The main event that got me to thinking about this was the recent death of my mother, I feel Like I took way to well, my siblings have been distraught and I’ve just been, well, ok. To put this in to context I’m the youngest by 10 years and I was the closest to her and also the only one present when she died.
My question is, am I just an emotional retard or is this nice guy behaviour, never wanting to rock the boat? It’s not on a conscious level, I’m not stifling feelings or having to keep them in, I just don’t feel them. There are certain projects or activities in my life that I’d like to feel passionate about and I just feel vanilla. Is this just years of conditioning myself to not stand out? And is this something I can work on?