2 YEAR RP FIELD REPORT

2 years ago my wife was pregnant with our 4th child. I had recently sold my 2 businesses and relocated our family to a small town leaving our friends, home, church and everything we knew behind. I launched a new business and was in a place of self-reflection.

My life was disrupted in every way possible. Three things contributed to my finding Red Pill: I had plenty of money from the sale of the businesses, I had tons of free-time, and I had no purpose or mission. Because of that combination, my life was crap. I was drinking often and squandering my time. My wife was disconnected emotionally and focused on the pregnancy. Physically she wasn't able to have sex without pain.

Luckily I discovered Red Pill and voraciously read the sidebar. While I didn't struggle with many of the challenges of most of the men in the group, I did want to improve my situation, specifically my marriage and my mindset. I knew instinctively that a 37 yr old man with wealth and freedom shouldn't feel the way I felt and the Red Pill philosophy of ownership and self-improvement was poignant at the time. Sex has always been plentiful, lifting an intricate part of my life. What I was lacking was a purpose and discipline.

FIRST YEAR

The first year of RP I stopped drinking alcohol, cut out caffeine, stuck to a program in the gym, and worked longer hours. I also added social activities like sports to my weekly calendar. I became more assertive and did not allow my wife's emotional mood swings affect my mindset. I joined a men's group Bible Study and worked hard to grow closer to God. The group disbanded after a few short months because the men lacked commitment. Ending in such a way was a huge irritation to me and made me angry that grown men, many older than me, couldn't wake up 1 day a week to study God's word. And even when they did show up, they hadn't done the reading. Spiritually this experience confirmed what I already believed: That most men are so lazy they can't honor simple commitments. I also noticed the number of ministries in our large church that were disorganized and unproductive. Having launched, grown and sold multiple businesses, this was disgusting to me and a slap in the face to God. I decided to go at it alone and distanced myself from our church so that I wasn't reliant on undisciplined men for spiritual mentorship.

Even with all the progress, I was still having days and even weeks of weakness where I would unplug mentally from the family because I was unhappy with my life. This was heavily influenced by periods of sexual withdrawal from my wife. Her hormones were in control of her life and our family was punished every day by her lack of stability and my lack of leadership.

Overall the first year was productive but I realized there was much work to be done.

SECOND YEAR

This last year was a breakthrough year. Within a few weeks of our son being born, my wife returned to a more normal state albeit she was totally focused on the new baby and forgot she had 3 other kids and a husband. My business grew exponentially, my friend group grew similarly, and I became happier with my life as my discipline increased. Our marriage was much improved once the doctor approved sex. A regular week was 4-5x with her initiating almost half. Mentally, I still had some issues to address with the main challenge feeling undervalued by my wife. Her priority was everyone EXCEPT me and it was a major irritation. I tried increasing dread but that didn't work. The way I dealt with this perceived rejection was to develop a life of my own away from her and my family so that when she was distant I could stay busy with activities. For about 9 months this was the plan and it worked very well. I was happy, getting laid daily, successful at business and thought RP had served its purpose.

Then in August/Sept of this year my wife met a guy at the gym and had a short text relationship. She was conversing with a new man because her husband was away all day working, playing sports, going to the gym and not leading her or the family in any meaningful direction. She was bored and wanted an emotional connection. But instead of reaching out to me for a connection, she grabbed on to the first man that showed her attention. When I discovered their texts, I was livid. But it was the kick in the butt that I needed. I didn't realize that my lifestyle left out my wife and family. I was so selfish and butthurt that I would come home in the afternoon, hang out for a mandatory couple of hours before grabbing my gym bag, kissing my wife, and running out the door till bedtime. I was 100% alpha and 0% beta but it's just as dangerous as the opposite. I gave zero feelz and even worse, after 18 months of RP I was still a man without a mission.

The 2nd half of this year was where most of my progress was made. Motivated by the thought of losing my wife and kids due to my lack of leadership and lack of mission, I devoted my time and energy to finding my purpose. After a few weeks I wrote down the culmination of very little sleep, lots of stress, and many hours of prayer. I wrote what I consider to be my "awakening," which was my mission. I shared it with my wife and asked her to join. She agreed and we've been working daily toward that goal. I have repented of previous sins that I've held onto for decades such as my sexual addiction, my selfishness, my reliance on validation from my wife and my cowardly lack of spiritual leadership. I asked my wife to prioritize me over all others including our kids and she has done an amazing job. I now spend only 15-20 hours a week on my business, and the rest of my time is spent with my wife, my kids, and on ministry (sports and gym take up a few hours a week).

I'm a 39 year old man who is living for the first time and I sometimes get upset at wasting so many years. God has done amazing things in my life and I have faith that it's only the beginning. This year I want to grow more and hope that this group and MRP continues to hold me accountable.