Last night I went to a show with a girl I'm dating and her mother. After the show they wanted to get something to eat, but I wasn't hungry and had some things I needed to do. So they had to decide where to eat.

I wish I could reproduce the conversation, because it was hilarious. First the girl I'm dating said she was kind of hungry but didn't want a lot to eat. Her mom agreed. Then they began discussing choices. Neither would state an overt preference. Should they do Thai? Barbecue? Juice? First the mom would say, "I don't care, I'll go anywhere." Then the girl I'm dating said, "You decide." Then the mom said, "I don't care." Then the girl I'm dating said, "Well, how about Thai then, there's a place nearby."

Then the mom said, "I don't know, it sounds too spicy for me. Is there anything else?" Then the girl said, "It is kind of spicy." This went on, hilariously, until I left. I think they eventually went to a juice shop.

But it reminded me of an important general point: Make the fucking decisions. Don't be an asshole about it. Let her veto the decision. But don't ask her what she wants. Steve Jobs famously said that he doesn't do focus groups because he wants to give people the thing they don't even know they want. Don't ask her which movie to see or which bar to go to. Pick one and do it, unless she vetoes. The vast majority of the time, the vast majority of women will just go along with what you suggest. They want to be led. They already have decision fatigue from deciding what to wear. For you, as a guy, making a decision is often more important than the specific decision made.

Unfortunately, I think our relationship is coming to an end to reasons unrelated to last night. But when I was a teenager I used to be very solicitous about girls wanted to do. That was a mistake. Now I make the decision, unless she has a firm preference and plan, or unless she has a strong opinion that acts against what I pick.