How soon do you think is too soon to spend the night in a new relationship?

Kara__El · 2020-02-10T23:14:12+00:00

My husband and I were about an hour apart when we met on a dating app. He was more than willing to travel to see me in the city, but it became easier to have sleepovers, which we did after about eight to ten weeks of dating. It was so much nicer to have those few extra hours and the closeness of sharing a bed, as opposed to driving home late at night.

We were officially exclusive and we didn't have sex for another six months.

TranslatedSky · 2020-02-11T05:13:34+00:00

Was in LDR, new relationship too. Don’t sleep with the guy until you’ve spent enough time IN PERSON with him. It doesn’t matter if you’ve spent two weeks having an intense experience, if you still don’t have a good grasp of his character. You should feel safe and secure about the relationship.

But also it’s very easy to hide your bad sides in a LDR, and hence harder to vet. You need to vet by looking concretely at actions, not promises or words. So things lkke if he says he will call you by X time, and if he doesn’t, it IS a big thing.

Don’t factor in “distance” as when you should put out, at all. If he pressures you for the same reason or threatens to leave you or tries to guilt you because you don’t feel comfortable, he’s not respecting your boundaries and that’s a red flag. There are many things you can do physically without putting out. And trust me, you’ll regret not waiting more than if you wait.

If uoure pretty new to relationships btw you shouldn’t be starting out with a LDR, because you wouldn’t have developed the gut instinct to vet behavior. Just remember always that actions speak louder than words, and time spent in person is a more solid indicator than time spent online.

NationalMouse · 2020-02-11T04:22:51+00:00

Personally, I don’t think you need to follow any certain “rules” when it comes to sleepovers that don’t involve sex. As long as you’re both comfortable enough with each other that you can spend nights just hanging out and not having sex and still respecting boundaries then there’s no such thing as “too soon”.

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2020-02-10T23:22:45+00:00

Are y’all committed? If so, I say wait like a month and a half to two months.

Hammocknapping · 2020-02-10T21:56:12+00:00

New relationships shouldn’t be long distance.

loneliness-inc · 2020-02-11T05:16:26+00:00

Edit: I don’t mean having sex, just sleeping in the same space together, and talks have been had about waiting to have sex

If you sleep in the same place, expect sex to happen.

If you don't want sex to happen yet, don't sleep in the same place.

myrrhh · 2020-02-11T14:20:00+00:00

[deleted]

Tight-Diamond · 2020-02-10T22:13:46+00:00

My husband and I didn't spend the night together until we were already committed and talking about engagement. So for me, anything before that is too soon.

Are you already committed, monogamous, and had the requisite talks before becoming intimate?

curious_girl_5 · 2020-02-12T02:12:52+00:00

If you have moved from the dating phase into the relationship phase, then I don't see a problem.

The only issue I have is if you two are still in the dating phase and both have not mutually agreed to move forward into the relationship phase. That is when things can get a little sticky...

phoenixtycho · 2020-02-12T06:44:54+00:00

My husband and I fell asleep together on the couch, watching a movie, on our first date. We woke up around 2am and, since he lived over a half an hour away at the time + he was super sleepy, we decided he would spend the night. In the same bed, since my couch was really more of a second hand love seat! It was totally fine.

Do what’s comfortable for you :)

Title	How soon do you think is too soon to spend the night in a new relationship?
Author	myrrhh
Upvotes	17
Comments	27
Date	February 10, 2020 9:36 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/f1xe0e/how_soon_do_you_think_is_too_soon_to_spend_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-soon-do-you-think-is-too-soon-to-spend-the.331887 https://theredarchive.com/post/331887

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