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Majerep1
[–]Mister_Shitlord_2U66 points 11 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
After she told you she lied about shark week, the moment you realized you couldn't get it up, you should have flipped the shit test around and freaked on her for lying and kicked her out. It would have covered up the fact that you couldn't get it up and would have put her on the defensive.
[–]Red-Zen22 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yeah, I agree. When I read:
Right then she tells me she's actually not on her period and wants to have sex.
My first thought was "so, you lied to me in my bed?" GTFO.
[–]theuppertwenty 13 points14 points15 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This exactly. If you're hard pressed to pass a shit test, always pressure flip (even if it's a ridiculous flip).
[–]JackGoldsteinWrites 9 points10 points11 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You are truly a shit lord. LOL.
[–]10xdada 61 points62 points63 points 11 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link
That an evil shit test.
Brutal. Effective, but brutal. It is a lot like interrogation tactics.
The shit test asks, "is there shame or weakness in your heart? Look deeper, are you sure? Is there a fear, a compromise, a kink, a doubt, or even an echo in the hollow of some faint dissonance?"
Though the pussy hungers, the hamster must be appeased.
[–]fake7272 16 points17 points18 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
hamster must be appeased I would pay someone to have that tattooed on
[–][deleted] 11 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]throwaway320_ 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That made me almost spit out the water I was drinking on my monitor. Good job.
[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TekkomanKingz 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's a rather ineffective shit test that I imagine would have most Alpha's kicking them out after about 5-15 minutes.
Most will say OK if you are on your period then why are you here? And if she doesn't stop the charades then she will get booted out before being able to explain why she is lying about such a thing.
[–]silvertongue35 76 points77 points78 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
What she did was "break" you. You know how women say they "want" a sweet, sensitive, thoughtful guy?
They are full of shit. Once you show you are like that, then they will check out mentally and emotionally because that dries up her pussy like the Gobi desert , no tingles.
At least you recognized and understand that. Never vomit emotions.
[–]RPthrowaway123 37 points38 points39 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This exactly. I had a girl "break" me once, she gave me all this shit about how she hated that I wouldn't open up yada yada yada. So I finally tell her how I feel about something and boom, she never talks to me again.
They're so full of shit it's coming out of their ears.
[–]Majerep1[S] 25 points26 points27 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You're right. It was just impossible for me to understand how quickly her emotions changed until it happened in front of me.
[–]silvertongue35 42 points43 points44 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No shame in it. It's over with. What I like is your attitude. You say, hey, I made a mistake, here is what I did, here is what I think I should do.
The world would be a better place if more people did that, even introspectively.
[–]wiz1six19 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Don't believe in the unicorn...
Oh this girl is different! She deserves to be treated differently! etc.
No such thing as the unicorn
[–]Assassin1476 35 points36 points37 points 11 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Instead of panicking, you should have called her out on lying about being on her period. If you couldn't get it up; blame it on her and the fact that blood completely turns you off or her lying about nothing is a great turn off. Whether it's the truth or a complete lie, bring that bitch down with you and make her feel like shit. She was giving you that shit test, you should have took it and thrown it back in her face. It's a dirty tactic but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. The next thing, never get emotional. Never, ever...ever. Unless if you can use that to your advantage.
I've not been able to get it up with a lot of chicks and that is usually the worst thing ever but the best thing you can do is either play it off and not give a shit, because getting emotional or embarrassed won't help. Don't make excuses and don't get nervous, it is what it is and as long as you control yourself and the situation most of the time you can pull through with a chick. Learn how to be uncomfortable in awkward situations and if you're really unable to do so and unable to maintain frame, just accept the situation and move on.
[–]Majerep1[S] 9 points10 points11 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Wow. I didn't even consider turning it around on her. That is actually brilliant. I tried playing it off by getting her off orally but after reading your post that is just rewarding shitty behavior.
The key really is just not getting emotional and not caring. Never had trouble with her before when it was just about sex.
[–]COLIE53 29 points30 points31 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
She lied about being on her period... so you decided "getting her off orally" was the answer??? I cannot find one situation where this was a viable solution. Cringe worthy but it sounds like you know what you did wrong though. You live and you learn. Just don't make the same mistakes twice.
[–]Assassin1476 15 points16 points17 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Some guys will usually resort to a Hail Mary play like this to save the situation out of desperation, it happens. When you can't get your dick up and she is looking at you like "wtf is going on" it's real easy to lose frame and try to resolve a situation such as that.
[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad 22 points23 points24 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hail Mary play
She outplayed him this time, fishing for emotions, making him feel awkward and then jumping straight into a sexual scenario.
Instead of being so eager to please her, he could have turned it around by calling her on her shit: "What kind of crazy-ass bitch are you? Mess with my emotions and then expect me to fuck you after your little game about your period? I'm not interested right now."
OP just needs to get better at calling them on their shit. They expect a strong man to, they're practically begging for boundaries. Just another shit test variation.
[–]Majerep1[S] 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Great way of describing it. First time I've been outplayed so quickly and shrewdly.
[–]Assassin1476 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's what I said to him earlier. He should have taken all that and thrown it back in her face. I feel like that's the number one thing you can do in majority of situations because as long as you don't care about the outcome of the situation, always confront any chick on her bs. Especially in this case since he already banged her, no way that should have not happened.
[–]Assassin1476 14 points15 points16 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. Instead of rewarding her with oral, you should have rewarded her with throwing that shit right back in her face. Like in the movies when someone throws a punch at you, catch it and hit them in the face with their own hand. For me, when dealing with any shit test, I always counter back and make them feel dumb for either asking a shit question or doing something physically in a form of a shit test.
Females don't know how to respond appropriately when a man becomes emotional. This is why it's best not to do it because they either get turned off, feel completely weird or will tell you some other emotional bullshit from a girls perspective that will not only not help you, but might make things even worse. If you never had trouble with her up until now, then everything should be fine. It was a moment of weakness. Don't text or call this bitch, let her come back to you...when she does, play some dread game. Next time she comes over and if you guys fuck, you fuck her like a complete savage. Treat her like shit. Take a pillow and smack her in the face with it, hook fish her mouth, pull her hair down like a horse and tell her to shut the fuck up, ect.
Erase any doubt of that previous night with a viscous fucking and all shall be good. If this don't work, on to the next.
[–]king_of_red_alphas 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol. Fishhook move. Funny but true.
If you're feeling really brave do the "figure four bootlock" like the guy in the Facial Abuse videos.
[–]clitbeastwood 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
the anal full Nelson is also quite effective
You also need to realize that not being able to get it up means at the end of the day your interest in her (barring there are no health issues) is not sufficient.
It's her job to make up the gap and if she doesn't want to - Then she wasn't really interested in the first place and fuck her (not literally).
[–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity 33 points34 points35 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Tough break, but this is how the world works.
Close off your emotions. When we say, "man up", it's important to adhere to those words.
This girl is promiscuous.
Now if you're the guy who likes to take things slow and is more emotional about things, find a similar girl who is more conservative.
[–]william_law 10 points11 points12 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
OP, others have said it already, but I really think you may be dramatically misinterpreting the situation. Here's I read it: women DO want to get to know a man emotionally, open up to him and have him open up to her, but he cannot do it in a needy way. This is the crucial distinction.
2 ways a man is emotional:
1 - In a needy way, opening up about his insecurities, doubts, fears, opening up the way he would open up to his mother.
After he becomes a man, he no longer should be relating to ANY woman in this mother-son archetypal relationship dyad.
2 -When boy has become man, and has mastered his domain, he can still open up to a woman emotionally. No woman wants to be with an unrelatable guy. But as a man, you have to be the source of strength in this emotionality. Women will be forgiving of a man's imperfections as long as he is a champ about it, I.e. Not being a whiny dramatic bitch (not saying you were like this). Essentially you now have to be the "parent" in the relationship. In order for the relationship to work, you have to be her daddy, rather than her being your mommy. So you can still be caring and thoughtful and emotionally open, as long as it's not needy, clingy, cheesy, mushy. And she DOES want this. What she doesn't want is have to be your mom.
So how does this relate to you? I don't think she was shit testing you at all by wanting to open up emotionally. She was genuinely both consciously and unconsciously wanting to progress the relationship. She made up the period story so that instead of immediately getting sexual, she could have some time to connect and get to know who you are deep down a bit better, because she was wanting to see if things were viable beyond a merely sexual level. She felt good about this part, that's why she then said she wanted to have sex. By thinking she was shit testing you and you failed by opening up, why would she then say she wanted sex? She would have stuck to the period story. Where you failed was becoming confused and failing to get it up. This is what dried the puss. She was looking forward to some good emotionally connected sex. And the source of your confusion was because instead of being truly present and connected w her, you were analyzing how she may have been trying to shit test you.
Bottom line: opening up to women emotionally is not inherently bad, it's only bad if your inner game is not solid, and you're incapable of playing the parent role of emotional strength. It sounds like you actually did fine with this, otherwise she wouldn't have requested sex. You just dropped the ball at the last minute by losing your cool.
[–]collidoscope 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
What was she prodding you about? What did you open up about?
[–]Majerep1[S] 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Basically that she feels what we have is "special", how do I feel, how does this feel vs. past relationships, etc.. I tried engaging logically instead of dismissing it like other times that she tried this. Then I just got really nervous because I am not good at speaking about "emotions" and realizing I was losing control of my state of mind.
The lesson here is just not to engage in that talk. Before I would just ignore her or give non serious replies.
[–]collidoscope 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I made a similar mistake before with a girl that had been into me a long time. She then proceeded to treat me like shit. So I understand the crash and burn of an experience like that. However, I think mistakes like that are necessary. Because if you never show that emotional part of yourself, you never have a chance to grow. If there's a part of you still gets nervous or acts child-like, trying to pretend it isn't there is going to be like holding in a sneeze. Sometimes, you just have to let it all hang out so you can move past it become a more complete person. (Although perhaps there are more appropriate venues, such as a therapist's office, etc).
HOWEVER, I believe the reason a woman rejects you in that situation is NOT because you're sharing your feelings. It's because of your nervousness. Women associate nervousness with "I have something to hide".
Even if you don't want to engage in the conversation, you need to acknowledge how she feels and tell her you're glad she feels that way. She was being vulnerable with you and your reaction of nervousness could have been read as "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't agree with you so I'm trying to think of something to say."
What was your answer to her?
This shit sounds too complicated. I used to try and break down things psychologically like this and now I am older and realize that it's very simple:
Leave the psychoanalyzing to the professionals.
[–]sbdragonfruit 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. I don't get this either. I think we're missing some deets.
[–]tits_out_forTheBoys 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago* (15 children) | Copy Link
And one hour of me being an emotional bitch was enough to ruin the past month me being awesome.
I have an idea. Instead of brushing this off as "I'm awesome but just happened to lose frame (because bad luck)!"...why don't you actually acknowledge your personal flaws so that you can correct them?
I'm not asking that to be a dick, but you can't claim that this was a learning experience if you're not even willing to take responsibility for ANY of your personal flaws. So let's examine the situation from a neutral perspective:
So earlier in the week we set a date to meet at my place in the evening some quick dinner and then go out and enjoy some great weather. After dinner things go to the bedroom but it turns out she's on her period so we can only make out for a while. We make out for a while and she starts prodding a lot and after a while I open up emotionally.
Dinner and enjoying the weather = beta tells. You sacrificed your entire evening for a chance at getting some pussy, and then threw an emotional hissy fit when she wouldn't put out for you (I'll get back to this in a minute). Why would she want to fuck a man right after he gave her an enormous amount of his time for free? She didn't need to, nor would she have wanted to at that point. Your evening with her was anti-seductive because you treated her like your wife instead of a girl you're not even dating. So in return she treated you like a husband by downgrading a fuck sesh to a make out sesh.
Which brings me to my next point: You played by her rules. Why? Why didn't you leave after she said she was on her period? Why would you waste your time making out with a girl who just made an excuse not to fuck you? Next that time that happens, you call it a night ASAP. THAT's where you lost frame; you let the little spoon make the rules. You're a man, and you make your own rules. Otherwise she won't respect you and therefore won't fuck you.
Commandment of Poon VII: Always keep two in the kitty.
You transgressed that command by treating her as an exclusive partner. You weren't in a relationship with her. Why in your right mind would you give her all the benefits of an LTR? Why would sacrifice all your time like that? You let her agency control you by bending to every little demand she had in this FR.
tl;dr You're being a fool if you honestly think there were no personal flaws which caused this embarrassment. You can either grow a backbone and address what I pointed out in this comment, or you can choose to change nothing about yourself and repeat these mistakes for the rest of your life. Take responsibility for your flaws so that you can correct them and become a better man. I'm not trying to be an asshole, but the mindset from which you wrote your post is setting a terrible example. Drop your flawed ego and start demanding excellence from yourself.
[–]Majerep1[S] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Great points actually. All these comments in the thread have given me more to reflect and apply next time.
I'm well aware of my flaws and am working on it. The last few months I went from only dating 2 long-term girls in my life to going on dates with over a dozen girls. Mostly it has been a series of errors (with a few highlights) but I'm trying to learn something from each mistake.
I thought I would post this not because my ego is huge but because it was probably the most eye opening realization to date on my (pretty new) journey. Obviously I am not even close to being the man I aspire to be when it comes to dating.
[–]tits_out_forTheBoys 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
I'm trying to learn something from each mistake.
If you really mean that, then I can help you correct one of the big mistakes you made here.
Read this post: Thanks to the rise in commitment whores, "We're not gonna have sex" now means TWO different things
I received my EC flair on the same day I submitted that post, so you can trust what I wrote knowing that the mods endorsed me for it.
In that post I discuss what the optimal strategy is for dealing with a girl who backs out of sex at the last minute. You need to read it my man, because the way you reacted in this FR was unacceptable considering how you could have easily just fucked her if you had used the strategy described in my post.
[–]Majerep1[S] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks. I will give it a read as I don't want to make this mistake again.
[–][deleted] 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]tits_out_forTheBoys 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah. You can access it from this link
[–]collidoscope 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You keep plugging your post like it's the best thing since sliced bread but I didn't get anything out of it. Your first example is a run of the mill ASD situation and in your second example, you just act like a flaming asshole and invent something called a "commitment whore". The number of things you read into and assumed about your second situation is staggering. You were bitter about not getting laid so you turned into an asshole. You obviously had something to prove by dropping her on the floor. There are better things for this guy to read on TRP.
[–]tits_out_forTheBoys 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You were bitter about not getting laid so you turned into an asshole.
Lol what? I grabbed my shit and left. That's the complete opposite of bitterness.
Dropping her on her floor was funny as fuck, but that doesn't mean I was bitter. Was I supposed to treat her like a princess after she wasted my time like that? You're acting like a huge pussy about it by calling me an asshole, as if I'm supposed to feel bad about it.
[–]boning 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
No more enjoying the weather. No more dinner. Stick with drinks.. Even if you have millions in the bank, do not pick up the tab, or else you will solidify her "every man wants to f.... me" mind set.
As far as I know, the 2 most important things in HER life are securing resources and having fun. Your frame must radiate an abundance of both things.
Keep in mind, if she is mildly attractive, there will be suiters everywhere. So don't get too comfortable... She was never yours in the first place, it was simply your turn.
You have nothing to lose if she leaves. You have nothing to get upset about. You are cold. You are unshakable. Most importantly... you have options.
[–]Majerep1[S] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
What do you recommend for dates other than drinks or hanging out? I'm a successful professional so don't mind paying as it seems to get me laid more often than not paying.
[–]Sdom1 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is a tricky area because it depends so much on context. With some subsections of women, especially certain ethnic/racial groups, not paying will just get you branded as a loser with no money. In other words, it can make you look beta.
A couple of quick examples I've had experience with are persian, indian, and FOB asian chicks, especially if they're from wealthy families. They wouldn't think of you paying for dinner as them using you - they would think you were pathetic for worrying about paying for a dinner. Example: One of the girls, Sue, her family owns factories in China. Her allowance - just spending money, mind you - is $10,000/month.
If you think forcing her to pay for dinner makes you look alpha, guess again.
I think the commonality is when a girl is from a place where most people are poor, you don't want to look poor.
I think it's all about not looking outcome dependent. Certain groups define that different ways.
[–]boning 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You've made the investment (payed the tab); now you're looking for the return on investment (sex).
I agree with you- context is key. So, when the situation allows, let her pay her share. If she's into you in the first place, it shouldn't be a deal breaker. She'll also see you as more of an equal instead of as someone coming from below the pedestal, like every other guy.
Give her the chance to invest.
[–]projectself 9 points10 points11 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
No. I do not think so. A small lapse in frame does not erase a girl who is into you like that. And your story doesn't line up for timeline to support that anyway.
I've been seeing this girl for a month and everything was going great. After dinner things go to the bedroom but it turns out she's on her period so we can only make out for a while. I open up emotionally. Right then she tells me she's actually not on her period and wants to have sex.
I've been seeing this girl for a month and everything was going great.
After dinner things go to the bedroom but it turns out she's on her period so we can only make out for a while.
I open up emotionally.
Look at that order of events. She didn't reject you for getting emotional. She rejected you before that. She likely was "comfort testing" you. and when you opened up, she felt valued and wanted to get intimate. Yes, intimacy, the act of being vulnerable and being emotionally closer because of it.
Then you couldn't get it up, got confused and lost frame. This is what is called being incongruent. Women smell it a mile away, she thinks you are one thing and then you show something else and it repulses her. Not because you might be weak, but because she wonders if you were faking previous effort, and if you were faking it, she has lost trust with you.
[–]tits_out_forTheBoys 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree. He's choosing not to take responsibility for anything he did wrong. That's the easiest way to keep making the same mistakes over and over.
OP needs to change his shitty mindset or he's never gonna improve himself.
[–]TekkomanKingz 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You do realize on a logical level that this makes no sense whatsoever.
It's a classic mistake Women who don't understand how Men operate make. This is why I do not entertain girls below a certain age. I have dealt with this in the past and have had to educate them that these "games" are not only inappropriate they are grounds for dismissal and things that children do. Most shipped up and a few shaped out.
Basically, the bitch's logic here is:
Now read that 5x fast and ask yourself does this make any sense whatsoever? It didn't make any sense to myself writing it - So why should this be acceptable under any circumstances? The only way to win at an illogical game is to NOT PLAY IT.
[–]Suravira 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
You can have sex during her period, just use a towel. Period is usually a shit test anyways. You played it wrong mate, just get more experience under you belt, and not in attempted LTRs, only experienced fellows can handle those.
[–]Majerep1[S] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The period thing was bizarre. I believed her because we'd had sex before. Next girl I will just ignore the period and bring a towel.
[–]Assassin1476 8 points9 points10 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some girls will say they're on their period as a form of a shit test. That's why its good to always escalate the situation and tell her exactly what you said "bring a towell", "what makes you think I give a fuck about that?" or still somehow come over. Chances are she's not ready for that level 2 type of a response.
If she is telling the truth and she comes over and she's actually on her period, fuck her if you want to. If not, tell her your not going near that crime scene mess and you changed your mind. She might get mad but fuck it, women change their mind at the last minute all the time. Flip the table.
[–]iamz3ro 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've banged 2 of my last ex's while they were on their period. It's fucking awesome. Plenty of lube. Or maybe I'm like a "naturalist", if it's natural, it's not bad for me. Let 'em rain red.
[–]Suravira 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Gives an extra bit of roleplay to the word hatefuck.
[–]DoItLive247 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can have sex during her period, just use a towel.
I have red towels for a reason!
You can enjoy the red sea. Me personally I would use abundance, nope out and enjoy the next one (if I were single now).
[–]Temptationn 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Despite reading everything on here I actually thought this girl was different and basically reverted back to my old emotional self for one hour.
They will make you believe that, don't. I've been in your shoes with my last ex 9 months ago. I thought she was different and laid out some story's about what was going on in my life, one hour later I get a text "I really don't think this is working, you know you want to move to Florida and I'm going off to college, I'd love to stay friends but It's just not going to work let's be real" I replied okay and haven't spoke since. She still comments on my instagram pictures and text me but I've yet to feed into it.
[–]RyanGlavin 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Out of curiosity, what is she texting you, when she does?
[–]JeanValjean197o 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's broken but not necessarily over.
Don't contact her, or validate her in any way. Ignore her texts and phone calls. Continue working out and dating.
Once she "cools" off she'll come snooping around for some beta validation and she'll find that Chad Thundercock is waiting with his gina tingles.
Or maybe she won't. Don't give a fuck about it. Move on and have fun. Work out, make money, fuck bitches. Plenty more where that came from and failing is the best way to learn and hone your frame.
[–]JeanValjean197o 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also, check the format rules.
[–]Icreatedbothofu 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"I'm on my period" is either a shit test (is he alpha enough to read between the lines and know I'm lying, or better yet, not care?) or a comfort test (does he like me for more than sex?).
Either way, the failure came when you failed to either kick her out (I don't get sex, you don't get my time) or fuck her regardless of her "period" (idgaf about your period, we're fucking).
When you failed (showed weakness) she went in for the kill (open up to me more!).
[–]LtCmdrFlexPlexico 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All of that could have been avoided had you decided to raft the red river. I have done so countless times and noticed that the girls are even more into it once they know I am. It is not gross nor is it dirty. It just is and they love it
[–]infinitywithin 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm too new at this to give any meaningful advice myself, but I want to hear what some of the TRP pros think of the moment she showed up without calling. Was that a power play or shit test? Is that an opportunity to establish boundaries, even if it means sending her away instead of fucking her?
[–]SpeakNoTruths 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Being an emotional person is not necessarily a negativism. It becomes such only when you are unable to control it. For example: my mother died when I was quite young, and as a result I am much more affectionate towards women than the average dude who sleeps with a decent amount of women. I am also very introspective and comfortable with my own flaws (while working on them, of course), which is also something I am open about. This may or may not have contributed to me losing a FWB, I cannot say, but the point is it fits into my IDGAF attitude, and my desire to have as good a time as possible with the women I fuck.
Don't hide from your emotions, make them a part of your frame.
[–]Demonizerwarden 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
as a newbie I'm trying to understand what you did wrong. What exactly did you say that broke your frame and what would you say in the situation if it happened again (if you can remember)
[–]-Universe- 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
and after a while I open up emotionally.
What exactly did you do? Can you give some details?
[–]redditnosleep 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
One single advice that will work the best. Stop giving a fuck. Stop analyzing. If it doesn't work out, no big deal ur still the man.
[–]kranos33 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You didn't do anything wrong, she is dating multiple people, and you are one of the dicks she is having. She probably got a better offer somewhere else, and moved on.
I was in a very similar situation last month. I didn't do anything wrong, yet the thing started fading. I knew (as a gut feeling) that while she got physical with me fast, she was not open emotionally and probably dating other people.
She is the nice/quiet/smart type, but that doesn't make her less promiscuous. These types tend to do it very stealthy, and they can fool you easy as being a "good girl", which they are not.
[–]LetsGoAllTheWhey 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't get why she lied about being on her period, and then admitting that she lied. What did she have to gain by that?
[–]tits_out_forTheBoys 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Women don't usually own up to their lies because they know there's gonna be a price to pay.
But this girl knew she could own up to it without any penalty whatsoever because OP treated he like a queen instead of a non-exclusive sex partner. So she chose to relieve herself of guilt knowing that OP wasnt gonna punish her for lying to his face.
Punish swiftly but reward slowly. Otherwise people will walk all over you, which is exactly what happened here.
[–]TekkomanKingz 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I think this is a little extreme. What you should be focusing on is if being temporarily emotionally available for just 1 hour out of the hundreds you've probably spent together is enough to blow the attraction out - You have a Woman who the foundation was not strong enough to begin with or the chemistry wasn't solid, etc.
It is not possible for a Man to be emotionless 24/7/365. And you will slip up, it's up to you to find a Woman who shares a deep enough connection with you beyond the superficial to keep her hamster in check and be able to overlook the occasional failure. The definition of frame maintenance has become way too unrealistic for most Men to achieve.
The times in which I broke frame when I was very young and inexperienced took repeated instances to kill the fire. One time was usually overlooked and my friend's experiences indicated the same. Well this was back in 2004-2005 so that's one factor obviously. So I'm not sure of the variable differences here whether it be the increased intensity of feminist brainwashing over the past 10 years causing lower tolerances for a Man's emotions or perhaps like I said before, the Women you are choosing simply possess no deeper levels to them. Just a hamster, a few layers of superfluous "sophistication" and nothing more.
Personally I haven't felt "sad" or "depressed" in many years the main emotions I feel are the occasional anger and blood thirst inducing rage. And I highly doubt that getting angry and violent is considered "breaking frame" per se when it comes to Women because obviously it's in their primal best interest to be with a Man who is capable of violence to protect them. So you could be having a chemical problem involving a lack of Testosterone?
[–]scotttherealist 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just because no one else has mentioned it: every single time I've experienced a girl lying about her period, it's been because she recently had a different lover.
[–]∞ Mod | TRP Vanguardbsutansalt 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Removed. Message me once you follow the format guidelines here:
http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3a0135/announcement_new_thread_requirements/
[–]blackhornatnight -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You weren't an emotional bitch. She had feelings for you and she wanted to know if you had feelings for her. You had anxiety because you didn't know how to express yourself, not the fact that you did express yourself. What you said probably reassured her and that is why she wanted to have sex. However, you were not comfortable with your own emotions, and you got limp dick, and she noticed your reticence, not the fact that you shared your emotions with her. She knew you weren't comfortable with yourself and with her. It confused the shit out of her. You confused the shit out of yourself.
Next time own up to how you are feeling and be honest. You could of said you liked her too and you liked how things were going - then fucked her. She didn't need a long speech. She just wanted to be reassured. She didn't know how to communicate either, thus why she said she was on her period. That was just an excuse. What she really wanted to say was that she was developing feelings for you and she wanted you to feel the same way before she had sex again.
The biggest fuck up is not that you shared your emotions, but that you couldn't get your dick up afterwords. That was the biggest insult to her. Despite what you said, the fact that you couldn't get your dick up afterwords was all she needed to know how you really felt.
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